12 | when being your best self becomes over-analyzation
May 13, 2019
The whole season we've been talking about being your best self. What happens though when being your best self becomes over analyzation? You feel like you have to be doing everything and be the best at everything. In today's episode I'm talking how I went from striving to be my best self to over analyzing everything. I share how I experienced self-help burnout and my three strategies I have used get away from the over analyzation and truly be my best self. If you're an over analyzing go-getter, this is the episode for you!
Transcript:
If you’ve really listened to any part of my podcast, you know it is set around the idea of being your best self and doing everything you can to be the best you you can be. But what happens when you striving to be your best self becomes you over analyzing everything? If you’re an overanalyzing go-getter like me, you know exactly what I’m talking about.
Over the course of this podcast season, I’ve gotten super into the self-help books, the self-help podcasts, and just about anything that could give me tips to be a better version of myself in whatever aspect. My podcast is centered around interviewing people who are striving to be their best self in certain aspects in addition to me doing some solo episodes on being your best self.
Although I obviously love all the self-help stuff, I got to the point where I was so self-help obsessed that I found myself overanalyzing my life. I was looking at every aspect of my life and looking to see what I could do to make it better or make it more efficient. The way I worked out, the way I spent time with my friends or even the way I did my laundry. You name it. I was looking at every little detail and tracking certain things so I knew I was doing my best.
I describe this like one of those number lines you used in high school math class. You are in the middle of the number line at your complacent content state. To the left, in the negative, is your worst you and to the right, in the positive, you’re your best you. I am so far to the right with the amount of overanalyzing I’m doing that I’ve broken the number line, broken the computer, and broken my brain.
I call this form of overanalyzing self-help burnout. Self-help burnout. Who knew that could be a thing? I’m kind of sad to say that I’m experiencing it because I love striving to be the best version of myself, but not to the point when it drives me crazy. I think another word for self-help burnout is perfectionism. I have to admit that consuming all this self-help as led me to be a perfectionist. And believe it or not, being a perfectionist is not that fun or interesting. I don’t recommend it.
When I realized I hit that point of over-analyzation, self-help burnout, perfectionism, or whatever you want to call it, I knew I needed to get back on to the number line. Recently I’ve been doing a few things to bring me back to reality and not overanalyze so much.
I knew I needed to start having a little grace for myself. This has basically been my mantra lately because I struggle with it so much: give yourself grace a little more grace. I look at this as being kinder to myself and not being so tough on myself. In the yoga classes I’ve been attending, they talk a lot about having grace for yourself and letting your mind and body breathe. Having grace for myself and not being so tough on myself doesn’t mean I don’t have standards. It means that I’m not using a standard that is actually hurting me more than helping me.
For example, I’ve found myself being ok after my 9-hour work day. I’m going to go to yoga, cook a nice dinner, do something for the podcast, do a load of laundry, and then read for 30 minutes.
Why? Why do I do that to myself? I tell myself I have to do all these things after work. Then, when I don’t end up doing it all or I get too tired, I want to go to bed. I beat myself up that I didn’t get everything done that I wanted to do. If I had a little more grace for myself, I could hold myself to a standard for the evening that is a little more realistic, kinder to my mind and body, and is more enjoyable. Now, my evening after work looks more like: ok I’ll go to yoga, find something healthy in my fridge to eat, and then I’ll see what I’m feeling from there. Ah, doesn’t that just sound so much more enjoyable.
Along with having more grace for myself, I’ve been asking myself “What do I want to do,” instead of “What do I have to do?” We all still want to have standards and we have responsibilities, so to follow the question of “What do I want to do,” I ask myself, “Am I capable of doing more than I want to do right now?”
I want to give you an example I encounter a lot. I’m laying on the couch pondering whether I want to go to the gym or not. I don’t want to go to the gym, but am I capable of doing more than laying on the couch right now? This is when I listen to my body and if I know my body feels good and I’m just being lazy, then I’ll go to the gym. However, if I know I’m really worn out and sleep deprived that I don’t think the gym would be productive, I won’t go to the gym. Give myself a little grace here and allow myself to relax.
I like the combination of asking what do I want and am I capable of more. Giving that grace to ask those questions for yourself and not be so hard on yourself.
Something I’ve noticed for myself is that when I don’t give grace to myself, it is very hard to give it to others. Every person is human and not perfect. We all need to give ourselves a little more grace sometimes.
Another thing I do to try to get away from over analyzation is I only track certain things. I’ve found as I’ve consumed different self-help things, I feel the need to track and set goals for absolutely everything to be my best self. Make sure you do more of this, less of that, and make sure you’re doing this, this, and this. It can be so exhausting.
To my go-getting over-analyzers out there, I know you feel like you need to track anything and everything to help you measure how you’re being your best self. We want to get involved in all of these with the thought in mind of being a well-rounded person. But sorry to break it to you, there are not enough hours in the day to do all those things. We can’t be a perfectionist and be the best at everything.
It took me a little bit to figure this out, but I feel I’m happiest when I’m only tracking things that help me towards a goal I’m trying to reach or standard I’m trying to maintain. Everything else does not need to be tracked. Everything else is just unnecessary over-analyzation.
Examples of the things I track include making sure I workout 3-5 times a week to keep my standard of maintaining my good physical and mental health, making sure I’m staying on top of my monthly budget so I can remain financially stable, and for 2019, going on a weekend or day trip each month with the goal of getting me out of my bubble and diversifying my experiences. Those are some of the things I track to reach out my goals and standards.
Some things I don’t track. I don’t track these specific things because I don’t necessarily have end goals for them or, I like to do them for fun.
For example, I don’t count calories or steps because I don’t have a certain goal in mind of what I want to hit. Some doctors or people in the medical field say I should keep track of those things, but I don’t have an end goal of losing weight or being in certain shape for a sport. It doesn’t mean I’m not conscious about my movement or eating, but I don’t stress myself out about every calorie or step because they don’t contribute to certain goals I have.
There are also things I don’t track because I consider them my form of fun or stress relief. I don’t track how many books I read in a month. I don’t track how much I write in my journal. I don’t track how many podcast listeners I have to the podcast (yes I look at the number of listeners I have, but I don’t have a goal in mine of how many listeners I need to get for each episode). If I started tracking these things and measuring my best self based on them, I don’t think I would see reading, journaling, or podcasts as fun anymore. Not analyzing these things also allows me to pursue the things I’m curious about and try new things.
As time goes on, the things I track will change based on how my goals change. But I’ve found as an over-analyzer, there is no reason to track things that do not help me reach my goals.
The last thing I’ve recently been doing to get away from overanalyzing is not taking every suggestion I see in books, Instagram, or podcasts and feel pressure that I need to do it.
Usually when I’m driving, I like to put on a self-help podcast. Recently though, I haven’t been wanting to do that because I don’t want to feel like I have to be consuming the information or I have to enact the strategy they’re telling me to do.
I feel this pressure to do the things they’re telling me because I do want to be my best self and I see the person I’m listening to as credible.
There is this comparison game I end up playing where they’re saying all these things I need to do that I’m not doing. I feel like a failure, which obviously isn’t true.
Instead of reading or listening to something regarding self-help and feeling like I have to do it, I should read it or listen to it, and then reflect on how that would fit into my life. Not all the tips or tricks that self-help books or podcasts give are going to work for my life. That’s ok. I shouldn’t feel like I have to work the tip into my life just because someone said I needed to in order to be successful and be my best self. I can sit back and listen to people’s perspectives and reflect on how that relates to my life.
This is why in my opening statement that this podcast isn’t to tell you what to do, but I hope it inspires you to be your best self. Take each perspective and see how it may or may not work for your life.
To my go-getting over-analyzers, next time you’re feeling overwhelmed, try some of these strategies that I’ve used of giving myself a little more grace. tracking only things that help me towards my goals, and taking suggestions in books and podcasts as perspectives instead of things you have to be doing.
I’ll be real with you, I was feeling like an over-analyzer putting this episode topic together because I wanted to include all the things I was thinking. As I said before, I kept saying give myself a little more grace. Here I am. I got the episode out to you.
I hope you enjoyed it and if you felt like you could relate to any of these things, DM me on Instagram at @yourbffpodcast as I would love to hear your experiences with overanalyzing.
The next time I see you will be in the next season! When I come back, I’ll tell you all about what I did when I was away and the revamps I did to the podcast. Some changes you will be able to see and some will be more behind the scenes. If you just can’t wait until next season to hear what I’m up to, make sure you’re following the podcast on Instagram @yourbffpodcast as I’ll be putting some things on there I’m up to.
Thank you for an amazing season. Thank you to my guests I’ve had. Thank you to my close family and friends who have supported me through all of it. Thank you to you that listen. It means so much! Thank you again, and I’ll talk to you soon.