21 | how to make your to do list seem less scary
September 2, 2019
Let’s talk to-do lists. Did you get low key excited, but also get a little bit anxious when I said that? Yea, me too. I got inspired to talk about this because I’m in a season where I have so many things going on right now. They’re all fun things, but it makes me live in a time of endless to-do lists. Our to-do lists are always there and we live and breathe off of them. Although we love making to-do lists because can make us feel more organized and clear on what we need to get done, they can feel scary and overwhelming. Especially if they’re incredibly long. Today, I'm sharing five tools you can use to help make your to-do lists a lot less scary.
Transcript:
Let’s talk to-do lists. Did you get low key excited, but also get a little bit anxious when I said that? Yea me too. I got inspired to talk about this because I’m in a season where I have so many things going on right now. They’re all fun things, but it it makes me live in a time of endless to-do lists. Whether they’re a running list in my head, on my phone, or on a random sticky note in my pocket. Our to-do lists are always there and we live and breathe off of them.
Although we love making to-do lists because can make us feel more organized and clear on what we need to get done, they can feel so so scary and overwhelming. Especially if they’re incredibly long. If they get too long, a lot of times we look at it and want to give up before we’ve even started. You know what I’m talking about. Once you finally finish writing out all the things you need to do, you’re like why would I even start? I’m never going to finish. Instead of starting, you go off to find a piece of chocolate or take a two hour nap so you can avoid it. We totally do it, at least I know I do.
Today I’m going to give you some tools on how to make your to-do list seem not so scary and more doable.
I want to tell you that I had a lot of trouble putting this episode together. Subconsciously, I wanted to be like, “Oh yea, here are the exact things to do to help your to do list be not scary and not be anxious. Here’s how to have you life together.” I allowed myself to take a step back and tell myself that the goal is not show how to have your life together, but how you can put your best foot forward in who you want to be. I continue to tell myself I’m doing my best I can. I find peace in that. I want to be a person that enjoys life and can figure out how to make things, like a to-do list, not so scary and approachable.
Here are some of things I’m doing to put my best foot forward approaching my scary to-do lists:
1.
Break more complex tasks into smaller tasks.
If you have things on your to do list they will take a long time or have several steps involved, I find it helpful to break it into smaller pieces. This has done wonders for me in making progress on the podcast. If I need to get an episode out for next week, instead of just writing episode for next week, I’m going to write down, record the episode, edit the episode, publish episode, and prepare an Instagram post.
I break a bigger task into smaller tasks because I feel like I’m making progress faster. I’ll get to cross off something a little quicker We all live to get things crossed off the list. When there is a big task on my list, I let it loom for days because I don’t want to tackle it. By breaking it down, it seems much more manageable and I can see the progress that I’m making by completing each smaller step.
To make big tasks not seem so scary, see if you can break it into smaller tasks.
2.
Be realistic about your list.
Being realistic about what we can get done in a day is one of the hardest things for us and a reason why to-do lists can be scary. We are highly motivated to get things done and are super ambitious about all that we can get done in a day. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with be ambitious, self-disciplined or pushing yourself to get things done. Be kind to yourself and be realistic.
If you’re making your to-do list for the day, take into consideration how much time you actually have. Look at your exhaustion level. Look at the possibility of something getting in the way of you doing your to-do list. Don’t tell yourself that you’re going to complete a to-do list that would usually take you eight-hours and expect to complete it in four-hours. This is not discrediting yourself. This is being realistic on what you can get done. It’s you being smart and planning well. Not to mention being kind to yourself.
The number one reason we don’t complete our to-do lists in a day is because we set unrealistic expectations. Think about what you can get done in a day. I cannot tell you how much this has helped me with approaching my to-do list. I feel like I can complete the whole thing and I’m being smart with my planning. It has led me to not feeling like a failure at the end of the day if I don’t complete the list.
Making a realistic list is also a good time to gauge if you need to ask for help or say no to some things that need to be done. If you can’t get everything done today, but you have to make sure it still gets done, ask for help. I’m sure there are people around you that can help. If there is not and you don’t think you can realistically get everything done today, maybe that’s an indication that you overcommitted yourself. All these things are ok. Use it as a learning experience and research what you have on your plate and what kind of time you have.
Be realistic about your list.
3.
Don’t let your to-do list run you.
Oh my gosh guys. I’m so guilty of this. I’m especially guilty of this if I make an unrealistic list for myself because then I really let my to-do list run my life.
I had a Sunday recently where I made an unrealistic to-do list (mistake number one), but then I let it run my entire life. I let it run my entire life because I felt bad doing things that weren’t on the to-do list. I stuck to exactly what was on the list and did nothing else. Although I did complete the list, by the end of the day, I realized that I didn’t get the fulfillment I wanted. I was annoyed with myself. I completed my list, but I didn’t allow myself to enjoy the beautiful weather outside, take a twenty-minute walk, catch up with a friend, or do the things I love doing on Sundays. I let my to-do list run my life.
That is when I decided that completing my to-do list and not doing anything else was not fulfilling. I want to live the life I want to live and be fulfilled and proud of what I did that day. There could be things on your to-do list that are fulfilling, but don’t let all your fulfillment come from that. Make sure you’re doing things that serve you in the moment because that will be more fulfilling.
I heard someone say not too long ago, in regards to to-do lists and the constant need to be productive and fill every hour of the day, don’t be a robot, be a human. I was like, “Wow, yea, I am being a total robot.” I’m going from one thing to the next thing as if I’m a system that only does things based off logic. No, I’m a human with feelings and emotions and I’m allowed to enjoy things and seek fulfillment in other things like spending quality time with people. That resonated with me.
I try to stick to my to-do list but if something comes up where it is a nice day outside and it would be perfect to take a walk or your friend you haven’t seen in awhile calls, take a break from the to-do list. I’m not telling you to drop your whole day and forget your entire to-do list. Recognize the potential little moments of fulfillment and allow yourself to have them. You’re a highly motivated, self-disciplined person. Trust yourself that you can still get things done and take the time to be fulfilled from things other than your to-do list.
Don’t let your to do list run your life.
4.
Approach tasks with, what I call, an average and conscious speed.
When we have all these things to do in a short amount of time, we tend to feel that we have to rush through the tasks and constantly look ahead to what we need to be doing next. This makes our heart race like we are sprinting a marathon and your heart is beating out of your chest.It makes us less likely to not do things with quality. If you think about it, we want to do things in the most efficient way possible, but are also do-it-all perfectionists. We have internal struggle because we are doing things so fast, but doing nothing with quality. When we rush through things, we don’t focus on the think we are currently doing, and therefore don’t do it with quality. We are also less likely to enjoy the task when we rush through it and it feels stressful and unenjoyable. If you approach things at a steady average conscious speed, you’re likely to do the task with more quality. They will be more enjoyable.
Two things that help me gauge whether I’m doing my tasks at an average and conscious speed is: I’m making sure I’m being present for the task at hand and not worrying about the tasks ahead. Second, my heart is not beating a million miles a hour (you know what that exact feeling is like).
When I realize that I’m doing either of these things, I recommend taking a breath and being like, “Ok I’m focusing on what is going on right now and nothing else.” It should get your mind and heart back on track. You’ll be surprised how many more things you do with quality and enjoy. Enjoying tasks; what a thing.
Approach tasks with, what I call, an average and conscious speed.
5.
Reflect and reward yourself.
You’ve made it through your to-do list. Now it’s time to relax and reward yourself for a job well done.
We feel like we need to be doing something productive at all times. I’ve realized if I never slow down, I don’t get to recognize all the great progress and tasks I completed. Enjoy this win. You don’t have to be checking off lists and being productive for every single hour of the day. Allow yourself to feel accomplished that you got everything done for the day and relax. Best thing you can do is relax and recharge, so you can kill your to-do list for the next day. This is also a great time to be creative or act on things we are curious about. Read that book you’ve wanting to read, watch that TV show you’ve wanted to catch up on, or heck, go to sleep.
If you happen to not complete your list, still take the time to reflect on it. It’s possible that you didn’t make a realistic list. Whatever the reason, don’t dwell on it. Learn and you can add it to the to-do list for the next day.
With all of these steps you may say, “Well how can I still ensure that I’m getting things done and not doing it anxiously?” That is a difficult question. It’s really about knowing yourself and listening to yourself. A lot of you are highly motivated, ambitious people that aren’t just not going to do certain tasks. You’re going to get the tasks done. You don’t have to go about it in such an unenjoyable way. It may take some time, but you will find what works for you.
That was a lot. To recap how I get through my to-do lists without it seeming so scary:
Break more complex tasks into smaller tasks.
Be realistic.
Don’t let your list run you.
Complete your tasks at an average and conscious speed.
Reflect and reward yourself.
I hope you feel like you have some tangible ways to go about handling to-do list so it doesn’t feel scary, overwhelming, or makes you feel anxious.