Claire Edwards

Transcript:

Growing up, I would tell you I was a planner. I loved calendars, schedules, routines, and planning everything just perfectly. Fast forward to now and I plan for a living. I do production planning for coffee plants, planning out what items need to be made, when we are going to make them, and how much we are going to make. I get a lot of fulfillment from the perfect plan in my personal and professional life.

 I treat plans like these shiny objects. They’re a sense of accomplishment because the plan shows that I can strategically make everything work, do all the things I want to do, and have this secret roadmap to achieving my biggest goal. Basically, planning out how things are going to go to a T.

 I’ve written plans for daily routines, weekly workout schedules, timeline of the progression of my romantic relationship, how I was going to create a podcast and release episodes, how I was going to finish reading a book, what I’m planning on my career looking like. Big or small I’ve probably made a strategic, thought out plan for it.

 Plans are shiny to me. The idea of having this perfect roadmap is so fulfilling to me. I almost became obsessed with plans and how perfect they were.

 People say you need a plan in order to make the things you want happen. I whole-heartedly agree in that as you need to cast that vision for yourself to know where the heck you’re going and put yourself in the position to make it happen.

What I’ve realized is that getting obsessed with the shininess of a plan has bit me in the butt…hard.

First way being obsessed with the plan has hurt me is that sometimes I end up spending more time making the plan than actually taking action on it. Here is an example: I had a realization lately that the time I was spending “working on the podcast,” I probably spent 60% of the time coming up with a plan on when I was going to get all the tasks done for it and 40% actually taking action to work on it. I can’t believe I’m even saying that that is so crazy. Why the heck am I spending so much time planning? I know I have a lot of things going on and I want to fit them all in, but I’m taking away from what I actually want to do by planning what I’m going to do. After all, what good is a plan if no action is ever taken on it?

What good is a plan if there is no action? I have to remind myself this all the time because a month from now, who cares if I perfectly planned to release all these podcasts if I don’t put in the work to release even 1? Who cares if I planned to buy a house in the next 5 years if I didn’t put in the work I know I can to save money? Who cares if I perfectly scheduled my workouts this week, but got lazy and didn’t go to even one? A plan is nothing without action.

I don’t know about you, but I get so annoyed with the people say they’re going to do all these things like leave their job to start their own business, start a Youtube channel of them doing their hobby, or save money to buy that dream car. They plan and talk about over and over again about how they’re going to do the thing, but take zero, even one small action to actually make that happen. But I’m that person. I’m that exact person that I get annoyed with who keeps talking about it, but hesitates to take the steps. I’ll admit I’ll fall into it sometimes.

So, what I’m trying to work on still having a plan, but really focus on taking action. Set the vision and set the realistic plan on how I’m going to make it happen, and then just go for it. Even if I don’t hit the plan perfectly when taking action, as long as I know I’m doing everything I can to take steps forward toward what I want, then that is something to be proud of. More action, more action, more action. Experiment and just keep going because that is what is actually going to move me forward and grow, not the planning. Yes, plans are shiny, but as corny as it sounds, we are the stars that need to make them happen.

Second way that being obsessed with the shininess of a plan has hurt me is it has made me resistant to taking any U-turns along the way. I get so stuck on the plan like I have tunnel vision. I know you might think I’m young and naïve to be saying the obvious right now and you probably wonder why I didn’t say it earlier, but things change.

I guess to me it’s about being adaptable, a word I have a love/hate relationship with. I want to say I’m go with the flow because anyone who is not is considered uptight or high maintenance. But I’m just not. I like things to go according to the plan. If anyone who knows me is surprised to hear this (or not surprised to hear this too) it is because I have been working really hard on my adaptability muscle. Trust me, that muscle does not come naturally to me. I work really hard to strengthen that adaptability muscle and not get knocked off my horse every time the plan changes because as we know plans change a lot.

 This past fall at work, I had started planning production for a new location because someone on my team was on maternity leave. On my first day on the job, there were so many changes to the plan that I was so overwhelmed and balling at the end of the day. Guys, I am not a pretty crier whatsoever and I cried at freaking work. I was so locked into the plan that they had that I got knocked off the horse…hard. I went home that evening feeling pretty defeated obviously. Once I calmed down, I was almost thankful for how hard I had gotten hit because it was a reality check saying “alright Claire it is time to flex that adaptability muscle harder than ever.” So, I did and didn’t cry a day after that. I got to the attitude of “bring it on, throw me a curveball I’m ready,” and having that attitude helped me absolutely kill it. 

Or this dang coronavirus that we are all tired of talking about. We all had so many plans. So many plans. I want to cry and hug each person for the plans they’ve lost. My one sister is missing out on her senior year of college and graduation. My other sister missed out on getting to the final rounds of the NCAA basketball tournament. I know people who have postponed weddings. People that the birth of their child wasn’t how they envisioned because only their significant other was allowed to be there. Whatever the plan was, the pain of it being gone hurts so bad. But now more than ever I’m trying to figure out how to flex my adaptability muscle. It sure isn’t easy, but we must try.

Now, I can’t help but think about why the heck I spend so much more time planning than taking action and why adaptability isn’t the easiest thing. There are multiple reasons I can think of, but the common theme is that I’m just scared. I’m scared that the action will be harder than the planning. I’m scared that once I take action, I’ll have to change the plan. I’m scared of trying something different when the plan doesn’t work out because that wasn’t the original vision I had in my head. I’m scared to adapt and change because it makes the future less predictable. I’m scared to take on the curveballs. I’m just scared.

But I think that also means I’m scared to grow. And I’ve decided that that is just about the worst thing to be scared of, or at least for me it is. Being scared to grow is holding me back from some of the craziest, unpredictable, unthinkable, most wonderful things that I can tell you were probably not in my plan.

So maybe it’s about not being so scared to grow anymore. Maybe it’s about not being scared to evolve. Maybe it’s convincing myself that things don’t have to be a certain way. Maybe it’s about reminding myself that things aren’t ever going to turn out exactly how I planned. Maybe it’s about not making that plan so damn shiny. Maybe it’s convincing myself that things are still going to be alright even they don’t go according to plan.