A year ago, I only told a few trusted people that I had started therapy.
It probably wasn’t until a few months ago that I started writing my therapy appointments on my kitchen calendar. Before, I didn’t want anyone who came into my home to know I was going.
But here I am 1 year into going to therapy and I’m talking to you about it today. Small steps people.
I think these small steps happened because I saw how much of an impact it was making on me over time. It wasn’t something to hide or be ashamed of. It became such a resource for my mental health and I feel so thankful to have found it and had access to it. And accessibility to therapy is something I really want to dive into in a future post.
I wanted to share 3 statements that have stuck with me after 1 year of therapy with the hopes that maybe they could stick with you too.
Can you live with that?
I’ve struggled a lot with wondering if I’m doing the right thing and trusting myself to make decisions.
Something that has helped me live my life with more acceptance and less judgement is asking myself if I can live with a fact or situation.
Whether it’s an aspect of a job, relationship, or home, there are things that we can live with and things we can not.
Different people can live with or tolerate different things, and doing things differently doesn’t always mean you’re doing it wrong.
Some people can move away from their family so they can pursue their career and some cannot.
Some people can date someone that has a different religion as them and some cannot.
Some people can live with their parents after college and some cannot.
I’ve learned that what you’re doing is not right or wrong, but it is about whether you can live with the fact. And specifically if you can live with it, not someone else.
Does it matter if people get it?
I’ve used this one when I’ve struggled with caring about what people think. I wish I didn’t care about what people think, but I do and I’m intentionally working on it constantly.
Sometimes I catch myself justifying my decisions to other people so they get it. I want people to understand why I’m doing what I’m doing so that I don’t come off as unintelligent or naive.
But is everyone in the world going to “get it” or agree with your decision? No.
I’ve learned that is because we come from different experiences and we’ve developed different belief systems based on those experiences.
If not everyone is going to get it, do I need to spend my time explaining myself? Does it matter if certain people get it? Maybe or maybe not.
Each person is going to take what they want from what you’re saying, interpret it themselves, and leave out the rest. This may leave them with a positive outlook or a negative outlook on what you’re saying, but why assume the worst when you could be talking to someone that is in your corner cheering you on?
What makes you better keeps you better.
There have been a couple of times throughout my 1st year of therapy where I’ve considered no longer going because things were getting better or were better.
But just about the time I thought that, I found myself texting my therapist asking if she had an open appointment tomorrow so we could talk through something.
I explained this scenario to her and she said “what makes you better keeps you better.”
It reminded me of the importance of consistency when taking care of yourself. I don’t think it has to be therapy. I think it could be the consistency of working out or eating well or journaling. If it is making us better now, it is likely it will make us better going forward.
Do you have any statements that have stuck with you from going to therapy or talking to a trusted person in your life? Let me hear them in the comments.