Unsplash | Georgia de Lotz
I was first introduced to Rachel Hollis when a friend recommended her podcast, Rise, to me. She knew I was into personal development and it was the perfect listen for my long commute home from work. I listened every week.
Not long after, I was introduced to Rachel’s book, Girl, Wash Your Face. I read it front to back in just a few days. It was like she was speaking to my perfectionism, my goal-setting mindset, and the belief that you could make your big dreams happen.
I then found out Rachel had a podcast with her husband Dave, called Rise Together. It was centered around creating a strong relationship and marriage.
I also followed both of them on Instagram.
I was a Rachel and Dave Hollis groupie I will admit. I loved what they stood for and looked up to them for everything from relationships to making your dreams a reality.
Last month, Rachel and Dave announced on Instagram that they were getting divorced.
I was in shock. I was sad. More than anything I was confused.
I thought: How could they? If they were so perfect, how could they separate? Was everything they said fake?
Then I took a step back.
I thought about how hard it must have been to not only come to this decision, but share the news on social media with their combined 2.2 million followers.
In my eyes, Rachel and Dave were a symbol of perfection. I idolized them and their relationship. I did not see them as normal people.
I tend to do this with a lot of the podcasters, authors, and social media personalities I follow. I see them as a symbol of perfection.
I have come to realize that behind the screen, book, and headphones, they’re people just like us.
Since hearing the announcement from Rachel and Dave, I decided to rethink how I consume content from my idols.
Here are 3 things I try to keep in mind:
Just because they're speaking about it, doesn't mean they're perfect.
The people I look up to seem to have it all together, but even they would tell you they don't have it all figured out. None of us will have it all figured out.
If someone gives career, marriage, or parenting advice, it doesn't mean they don't have problems. If they didn't have problems, they would have nothing to talk about.
Even if they don't have it all figured out, it doesn't mean they shouldn't be speaking about it. Some people are more brave and vulnerable about sharing what works for them.
I'm thankful for people like Rachel and Dave that are willing to speak about life’s hardships. They remind us that we aren’t the only ones with problems.
They're not fake if they change their mind.
If someone decides to pursue another path, change their outlook on life, or has a new opinion, it doesn't make them fake or phony.
We use words like fake because people feel that a change or disruption ruins that picture perfect image we have in our head. In reality, that image never truly existed. They are like us, human.
When people change their mind, it shows they're growing and learning like we are supposed to do.
No one needs permission to change their mind. If someone learns new information, they can change their mind.
I listened to Rachel's first podcast episode since announcing her separation and she explained how during the Coronavirus she was writing a book about how to get through grief. Then her separation happened. She had to go back and re-evaluate how she wanted to talk about grief. Her explanation really hit home. No one has it all figured out and we are going to change our minds.
Take their advice, but know that this is their journey, not yours.
When we look up to someone, we want to do everything they did. We love their image and want to mirror their life and success. We see their life as a symbol of perfection.
I've realized while it is great to take inspiration from the people you look up to, it is not THE journey. It is their journey and you can have your own.
Doing exactly everything they did to a T is not the only way to do things. Following everything they do will only build the life they wanted. It will not build the life you wanted.
Take bits and pieces of what they did and see how it applies to your life. Create your journey, one you can be proud of.
In this case, we can still take Rachel and Dave’s marriage advice. Maybe some things worked for them at one point. Maybe they can work for you too.
Whether we have realized it or not, a lot of us are consuming content in a way that makes us idolize the authors.
Instead, we need to take the candid content that people like Rachel and Dave are creating as an opportunity. An opportunity to relate to them and reflect on our own lives. An opportunity to say “me too” or “I never thought about it that way.”
Relating and reflecting allows us to humanize the content we are consuming. It allows us to see the person behind the screen, book, and headphones for who they’re and not the image we made them out to be.