In high school, I was like a lot of teenage girls that spent a good amount of the morning straightening their hair and putting on a full face of makeup.
In college, I did a similar routine, but maybe my hair pulled back if it had been a late night the night before. But I had to keep in mind that if I was wearing my sorority letters to class, I needed to make sure I looked somewhat presentable (or at least that is what I came to believe).
In my first job out of school, I would do full hair and makeup every day as I wanted to do everything to look professional as I felt I was already being looked at as the kid that just got out of college.
When the pandemic hit and work became work from home, I found myself spending less time on my hair and makeup.
I wasn’t really going anywhere and I didn’t need to be on camera for meetings for very long.
I went from doing a full face of makeup every day to “maybe I’ll ditch the eyeliner as it feels like a lot for not leaving the house.”
Then I started into “maybe I’ll wear my hair natural today.”
Now almost 2 years into working from home, there are some days I won’t do any hair or makeup. Maybe run a brush through the hair and a touch of face cream.
My hair is frizzy. My hormonal zits are visible. The natural red tint of my face can be seen.
Not doing my hair or makeup could come off as lazy. It could come off as unprofessional. Maybe there are some meetings I should make sure I really put myself together. Most of us are sitting there in the meeting in our sweats you have to remember.
But I realized that the pandemic and working from home gave me this opportunity to see what I look like in the mirror. Not with perfectly done hair and makeup, but see my actual self.
I technically always had this opportunity as no one was forcing me to do my hair and makeup, but I just never really took it.
For so long, I wouldn’t leave the house or let a soul see me without full makeup and hair done.
It was my default to get up and do the whole “beauty routine”. I didn’t see myself as beautiful without it.
I can’t help but ask myself why this was my default option.
Did I spend time on my makeup or hair because I wanted to?
Did I do it so I could be “presentable” to others?
Did I do it because that is what I’ve always thought I was supposed to do in order to look good?
As the pandemic and work from home continued even longer than we expected it to, I found myself not wearing makeup more than I was wearing it.
My default option was shifting.
I think there was some self-inflicted and external pressure that felt released. I was accepting myself without all of that for the first time.
I realized that I can feel confident and beautiful with and without the makeup and hair.
It really came down to what makes me feel good that day.
On the days I have a really bad zit, sometimes I’ll put makeup on and sometimes I won’t.
When I have a big meeting where I need to be present to leadership at work, I’ll take more time getting my hair and makeup together.
The mornings I would rather spend my time on something else other than straightening my hair, I’ll leave my hair natural.
Or the nights I’m going out with friends, it is fun to get all dolled up.
The wall has come down for me when it comes to beauty and I’m finally seeing myself in the mirror. My default setting has changed and my confidence can come from both doing and not doing my makeup and hair.
If you look good you feel good, whatever that may mean that day.
It makes me wonder if I would ever have gotten to this point of acceptance with myself if it weren’t for the pandemic. I guess a good thing came out of a bad thing.