I Read A Book About Getting Sober

Recently, I finished reading Not Drinking Tonight: A Guide to Creating A Sober Life You Love by Amanda E. White (@therapyforwomen).

I did not read this with the intention of getting sober, but to explore my relationship with alcohol.

I grew up in a family that drinks and is always ready to throw the next killer football tailgate.

I went to college in the middle of cornfields, where some may argue that the only activity there was to drink.

After college and coming into the adult world, I noticed even more how ingrained drinking was in our culture. Meeting friends or going on dates usually involved going to get a drink.

I wouldn’t say I had a problem with drinking, but I considered what if I did it less?

I was willing to pick up White’s book because she wasn’t saying “You have to get sober.”

She wanted you to consider “Would your life be better without alcohol?”

This question seemed graceful for my perfectionist brain and was what I asked myself throughout the whole book.

Here were a few takeaways that really stuck out to me.

We don’t have to be either sober or an alcoholic.

She explains in the book that sometimes we feel like we have to be 1 or the other.

We don’t have to put a label on it and we can just start being intentional about the choices we make. We don’t have to live in 1 extreme or the other if we don’t want to.

Identifying the costs & payoffs of drinking and not drinking.

There is an exercise she has you do in the middle of the book to write down the costs and payoffs of drinking and not drinking.

It is eye-opening when you actually write it down.

When you evaluate everything from how it makes you feel the next day, the cost, the logistics, and your interactions with other people. Definitely a powerful exercise.

There are options to socialize sober.

A lot of times when I’m socializing with friends, it isn’t necessarily that I want an alcoholic drink, but I feel like I need a drink in my hand.

One option White mentions is ordering a mocktail.

I could see myself ordering the cocktail that comes in the fancy glass without the alcohol and still enjoy myself. I’ve also started to notice some places have non-alcoholic beers as an option on their menu.

White also mentions that some big cities have sober bars now.

I have never heard of this, but I know one is opening in Columbus very soon and am interested to check it out.

I have a feeling this business idea will start catching on as health and wellness becomes more important to people.

Plan 24 hours in advance if you’re going to drink.

If you’re looking to moderate, White gives this tip so you have the chance to make the intentional decision to drink, instead of drinking due to a trigger.

I really liked this because it is easy to have a drink because someone else did, because it’s nice out, or you had a long day and you want to use it as a tool to unwind.

Deciding in advance that I’m going to drink can help me remove the possible shame from drinking and decide that I want it because I want it, and not for another reason.

We aren’t looking for a drink, we are looking for a moment.

White quotes author Holly Whitaker who says, “...sometimes we don’t actually want a drink, we want a moment.”

This blew my mind because it is so true for me.

I sometimes just want to be outside on a patio with friends, drink out of a fancy glass, go to a place with a cool atmosphere, or do something to unwind.

And really, none of these have to involve alcohol if I don’t want them too.

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So where does this leave me?

After I read the book, I kind of felt the self-inflicted pressure to be sober.

But I keep coming back to these takeaways and they have helped me re-evaluate my relationship with alcohol in a graceful way.

So I am not sober, but more so seeing what drinking in moderation looks like.

As White puts it, I want to continue to explore… would my life be better without alcohol?

What Happened When I Got Off Hormonal Birth Control

Reproductive Health Supplies Coalition

*This article is an account of 1 person’s experience and is not intended to provide medical advice. Please consult a professional and do your research before starting or stopping any medical treatment.

Starting Hormonal Birth Control

I started taking hormonal birth control when I was 21.

I felt late to the game relative to many of my friends who had started in high school or early college. Many of them started using it due to painful cramps, acne, wanting birth control, or never getting their period naturally.

Since it seemed like everyone was on it and I was in the middle of my college years, I thought it would be a good idea to start taking it for birth control.

After talking to my OB, we decided that Nuvaring was best for me.

I loved it. I would leave this small ring filled with hormones in me for 3 weeks, take it out for 1 week, and then put a new one in. Low maintenance.

My periods were very regular and I had peace of mind that I was using birth control.

It was a habit that I adopted that I didn’t really think too much about.

Exploring the Other Options

Fast forward, I’m 25 years old and I’ve been on the ring for 4 years.

In this 4 year time, I started to really be interested in finding what worked for my mental and physical wellness for the stage of life I was in.

I started to become curious and aware of the options that were out there, including for birth control.

1 option I learned about was the fertility awareness method (FAM).

It is a non-hormonal, natural approach where you use different body indicators to track where you are in your cycle for the purpose of birth control or trying to conceive. Body indicators include waking body temperature, cervical mucus, cervix position, along with a few other things.

It is not to be mistaken for some apps that guess when you ovulate solely based on when you get your period. 

With FAM, you use your body indicators to know exactly when you ovulate. 

I learned that this is important to know because a few days before ovulation and a few days after ovulation is considered your “fertile window” and is when you would practice birth control (either with a physical barrier or something else). All other days of your cycle, there is a very low to no chance that you will get pregnant.

This was the most shocking thing I learned throughout this experience. I thought every single day of your cycle you could get pregnant, but it is only in your fertile window.

I was also shocked that I didn’t know about FAM before as it was never presented to me as an option for birth control in any health class growing up.

I asked some friends if they had heard of it and some who went to catholic high school said they had been taught it. It sounded like it was an option that was presented to them so they would stay away from the use of hormonal birth control and align with the catholic beliefs.

I was intrigued by FAM as I was continuously looking for ways to be more in tune with my body. I felt like my body was just running like a machine and didn’t really know what was going on with it.

After a lot of research, reading books, and talking with a fertility awareness specialist, I decided to stop taking hormonal birth control and start using FAM.

Don’t get me wrong, I was so nervous to do this. I read everything I could and talked to whoever I could talk to about it.

But I knew this was a step I wanted to take for myself.

Stopping Hormonal Birth Control

I was so nervous to get off hormonal birth control so I decided not to do it alone.

I ended up joining a group led by fertility awareness educator Nina Boyce to support women as they went off birth control.

We would review each other’s temperature charts, how to distinguish cervical mucus, share other body indicators people were using, and how we were feeling as we got off of the hormones.

And wow did I need someone to talk to.

Getting off birth control was HARD. All caps needed.

My body freaked out when I got off.

I would go through a rollercoaster of ups and downs as I went throughout my cycle. I would feel the worst when I was transitioning from getting off my period to my estrogen rising up. 

My body did not like that it was trying to do my cycle naturally.

The first 3 months were really rough. Mostly anxiety and freak outs about what I was doing with my life.

I leaned a lot on Nina’s support group, my therapist, and close loved ones.

I questioned whether I wanted to continue to be off it.

The people I talked to that had gotten off hormonal birth control had gone through similar feelings. It made me feel like maybe I wasn’t crazy.

I learned that it can take awhile, depending on your body, to get the hormonal birth control completely out of your system.

Since I already had made it through the first 3 months, I decided to keep going.

And I’m so glad I did.

What Happened When I Stayed Off

1 of my FAM charts on the Read Your Body app. Everyone’s is going to look different.

As I got into months 4, 5, and 6, my body started to adjust to being off it and started to feel a lot better.

Even though I had experienced anxiety in months 1-3 of being off hormonal birth control, now my anxiety was significantly down compared to what it was when I was on hormonal birth control. Noticeably different.

Anxiety was something I struggled with over the years and I can’t help but think that maybe the hormonal birth control was heightening it. I hope there are some professionals that look into this possible correlation in the future.

Another big thing I noticed getting off hormonal birth control is that my intuition became stronger than ever. That might sound “woo-woo” to people, but our inner knowing guides us throughout a lot of our life.

For the past few years, I really didn’t trust myself to make decisions. I overanalyzed everything and didn’t think I was capable of making the best choices.

Getting off hormonal birth control, I started having a clearer head and was less foggy. There is no other way to explain it than that. When you can trust yourself, that can make you feel like you can do anything.

A few other observations I made were my libido was higher, I was very in tune with my body, and FAM was reinforcing me to take care of myself.

I learned that our bodies and cycles are sensitive to any change in sleep, alcohol use, sickness, travel, etc. Any time I wouldn’t sleep well or drink a lot the night before, I wouldn’t just not feel great, I could see the effects on my FAM chart.

FAM reinforced the importance of having a routine and taking care of myself, as it would show in the data if I wasn’t.

You Get to Choose & You Can Change Your Mind

I’ve been off hormonal birth control for 10 months now.

Throughout this whole experience, I felt empowered to know I had options.

I don’t think I would have used FAM while I was in college as it wouldn’t have fit well with the lifestyle I was living at the time.

Now, I feel FAM is the right option for me as it caters to the more routine and healthy lifestyle I have right now.

Who knows, maybe my lifestyle will change and I’ll decide to go back on hormonal birth control.

What feels the most empowering is to know that there are options and we can pick the method that fits us for this season of life, even if that is different from what we’ve done before or what everyone else is doing around us.

FAM resources I recommend:

Book: Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler

Instagram: nourishedwithnina and themaddiemiles

Podcasts: Healing Hormones and Peace.Love.Hormones.

App: Read Your Body

The Habit Tracker That Keeps Me Consistent

The reason I stay on social media is for connection and inspiration, and I found that at the beginning of 2021.

My Instagram friend @MaryBrickerYoga (I did eventually meet her in person) had posted a tracker she was using to hold herself accountable for showing up to yoga in 2021.

I connected with her and told her how much I loved the tracker. She inspired me to expand more on it.

I created a tracker titled “Show Up For Your Body 2021” with 365 boxes on it . Each day, I challenged myself to do some form of movement for at least 30 minutes.

That could be a walk, hot yoga, vinyasa yoga, lifting, stretching, kayaking, etc. Each type of movement I assigned a color. At the end of each day, I colored a box with the color/movement I did that day.

Some days had multiple colors with yellow for my lunchtime walk and purple for my after-work lift. Eventually I added a color to the tracker that was designated for “trying something new” to allow myself to stray from the usual course.

As a go-getter, busy-bee, and perfectionist, this tracker has been a game changer for me and living the life I want.

Challenged me to show up

This tracker gave me a reason and a reminder to show up every day. It was the accountability partner I needed to make movement a priority.

Gave me options on how to show up

This tracker gave me permission to choose what movement felt good that day. It also challenged me to diversify my movements from day to day and do the cross-training that your body needs.

Helped me be graceful with myself

On the days where I just couldn’t get movement in, I left the box white and that was ok. It didn’t mean I couldn’t make it colorful the next day. After all, sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is create a little bit of white space.

Visually appealing & could hang up as a reminder

As the year went on, I loved seeing all the colors on the tracker come together. Might sound crazy, but I feel like I started creating art out of my life experiences. I hung it up in my home as an inspiration to add some more color to it and my life.

Did it with others so I knew I wasn’t in this alone

At the end of each month, I would post my progress to my Instagram story and Mary, along with some others, would post as well and tag each other. It felt like you weren’t showing up alone. Everyone’s tracker looked a little different, but we were all trying to show up for ourselves.

As 2021 comes to an end, I decided to create a tracker to use in 2022 and I’m sharing it with you all.

You don’t have to use it for accountability with your workouts, but really any habit or growth you want to focus on in the coming year. Could be showing up to journal, your morning routine, or focusing on the growth of your business.

2022 (and every year) is about showing up and this can be a resource to help you stay on track!

Get the tracker here and let me know when you start using it!

How the Pandemic Changed My Beauty Routine

Amy Shamblen

In high school, I was like a lot of teenage girls that spent a good amount of the morning straightening their hair and putting on a full face of makeup.

In college, I did a similar routine, but maybe my hair pulled back if it had been a late night the night before. But I had to keep in mind that if I was wearing my sorority letters to class, I needed to make sure I looked somewhat presentable (or at least that is what I came to believe).

In my first job out of school, I would do full hair and makeup every day as I wanted to do everything to look professional as I felt I was already being looked at as the kid that just got out of college.

When the pandemic hit and work became work from home, I found myself spending less time on my hair and makeup.

I wasn’t really going anywhere and I didn’t need to be on camera for meetings for very long.

I went from doing a full face of makeup every day to “maybe I’ll ditch the eyeliner as it feels like a lot for not leaving the house.”

Then I started into “maybe I’ll wear my hair natural today.”

Now almost 2 years into working from home, there are some days I won’t do any hair or makeup. Maybe run a brush through the hair and a touch of face cream.

My hair is frizzy. My hormonal zits are visible. The natural red tint of my face can be seen.

Not doing my hair or makeup could come off as lazy. It could come off as unprofessional. Maybe there are some meetings I should make sure I really put myself together. Most of us are sitting there in the meeting in our sweats you have to remember.

But I realized that the pandemic and working from home gave me this opportunity to see what I look like in the mirror. Not with perfectly done hair and makeup, but see my actual self.

I technically always had this opportunity as no one was forcing me to do my hair and makeup, but I just never really took it.

For so long, I wouldn’t leave the house or let a soul see me without full makeup and hair done.

It was my default to get up and do the whole “beauty routine”. I didn’t see myself as beautiful without it.

I can’t help but ask myself why this was my default option.

Did I spend time on my makeup or hair because I wanted to?

Did I do it so I could be “presentable” to others?

Did I do it because that is what I’ve always thought I was supposed to do in order to look good?

As the pandemic and work from home continued even longer than we expected it to, I found myself not wearing makeup more than I was wearing it.

My default option was shifting.

I think there was some self-inflicted and external pressure that felt released. I was accepting myself without all of that for the first time.

I realized that I can feel confident and beautiful with and without the makeup and hair.

It really came down to what makes me feel good that day. 

On the days I have a really bad zit, sometimes I’ll put makeup on and sometimes I won’t.

When I have a big meeting where I need to be present to leadership at work, I’ll take more time getting my hair and makeup together.

The mornings I would rather spend my time on something else other than straightening my hair, I’ll leave my hair natural.

Or the nights I’m going out with friends, it is fun to get all dolled up.

The wall has come down for me when it comes to beauty and I’m finally seeing myself in the mirror. My default setting has changed and my confidence can come from both doing and not doing my makeup and hair.

If you look good you feel good, whatever that may mean that day.

It makes me wonder if I would ever have gotten to this point of acceptance with myself if it weren’t for the pandemic. I guess a good thing came out of a bad thing.

Why I Haven’t Gone Vegan

Tangerine Newt

I recently watched the documentary The Game Changers on Netflix.

It is about how switching to a plant-based diet significantly increased athletes’ performance. They interviewed cyclists, runners, ultimate fighters, weight-lifters, football players, and many more, both men and women.

The film also talked about the benefits athletes and non-athletes could get from eating plant-based foods like thinner blood to reduce blood clots, feeling better, having more energy, etc.

They used the term “plant-based'' throughout the entire film, and I wondered why they didn’t just say vegan. 

After some research, I found out a plant-based diet is eating mostly food that comes from plants, whereas a vegan is someone who strictly does not eat any animal products. It was a testament that you can learn new things from watching Netflix. And if you haven’t watched the documentary, I highly recommend it.

As someone who is curious about wellness and experiments with different methods to improve my life, switching to vegetarian, vegan, or plant-based diets are things I haven’t tried.

I’ve kind of beaten myself up for not trying a different diet to be honest, and watching this film convinced me even more that it is something I should be doing since there are so many health benefits.

I feel this pressure. I feel this pressure to do anything and everything to improve my overall health because this is something I care about.

But there is pressure to do a lot of things.

Do the right exercise, eat the right thing, do the best skincare routine, drink enough water, take these supplements, do this therapy, meditate, journal, and the list goes on and on.

It can feel like if I’m not doing everything, then I’m doing nothing.

Of course that is not true, but the self-inflicted pressure tells me so, and not to mention social media or businesses that market their products.

Maybe the pressure is even made up in our heads.

I remember during my yoga teacher training, we were having a potluck and everyone was saying what they would be bringing. A lot of people were bringing vegan this, gluten free that, and zero-sugar dessert.

I started to worry that I did not fit in with this group and never would because I didn’t follow any of these things.

When we got to the potluck, we came to find out that maybe 1 person in the room was vegan.

People started speaking up and said they just assumed since we were operating in this yoga world, that everyone ate these diets. We were succumbing to the stereotype that being interested in yoga also means that you’re vegan, even though many of us didn’t fit that mold.

This showed me that even yogis, who I, and maybe some of you do too, view as some of the healthiest people, aren’t doing every single healthy thing.

Watching this film and having these experiences has made me think about that with all the health and lifestyle changes I’ve made in my life, why hasn’t going vegan made it into the mix?

I think there are 3 reasons.

I need a strong interest that stands out amongst the noise.

I make time to workout because it is something that makes me feel really good and strong.

I make time to journal in the morning because it starts my day with a good mindset.

I’m also thinking about the amount of sleep I’m getting, how much water I’m drinking, balancing my stress level, along with many other things

Going vegan is not something that has risen above my other interests at this time.

Doesn’t mean I don’t care about my health, but I try to remember I’m contributing to it in other ways.

Also doesn’t mean veganism could never be a way.

It takes the time and energy to understand what veganism looks like for me, the willingness to try it, and see the effects it has.

I integrated working out and journaling into my life by taking very small steps. 

If going vegan is something I became really interested in, I could take the small steps to make it happen.

We are also trying to take care of our mental health here people, and if we don’t have the mental capacity to take on lifestyle changes at this time, then are they truly making us healthier?

I need the perspective of abundance and not restriction.

For a long time I’ve viewed having a certain diet as restricting myself from certain foods.

In my experience, having a restriction mindset over an abundance mindset has not driven me to make certain health and lifestyle changes.

“Don’t eat sugar” has not helped me not eat sugar.

“Don’t be on your phone so much” has not helped me not be on my phone.

Those mindsets may have lasted for a day, but they weren’t sustainable.

The times I saw actual change were when I saw what the health or lifestyle choice could do for me, and not what it was keeping me from.

When it comes to going vegan, I would need the perspective that “I get to eat foods that are really going to help my body” instead of “I have to restrict myself from eating all these other foods.”

I need an environment that supports the lifestyle (or the ability to overcome the environment).

When I was watching this documentary, I continually wondered how people who eat a plant-based diet balance the aspect of social eating?

This is probably one of the biggest reasons I haven’t switched to a diet other than the one that I’m on. I am a social eater that wants to eat what is served at social events.

I know that there are now plenty of vegetarian and vegan options out there at restaurants and grocery stores.

However, currently no one I spend time with is vegetarian or vegan, so I’m concerned I would be a burden to them if I am. Although, that could be something I’ve convinced myself of and could not be true.

I think about that with dating too. Can you date someone that had a different diet than you? Some people could, some probably could not.

This is when your “why” of doing things truly gets tested. When you’re in an environment that is the opposite of the lifestyle you’re trying to live.

Although I know it is possible to make changes and sustain change on your own, it convinces me that being in an environment that supports your lifestyle would make you much more likely to sustain it.

So will I ever try being vegetarian, vegan, or plant-based? Maybe someday. There are other health and lifestyle choices I have more of an interest in at this time.

I like to think that if I’m doing what I can to stay healthy, then that is better than doing nothing at all.

There is always going to be the “next healthy thing” to do, but I think staying open to taking the small, manageable steps to being healthy can make a big difference.

Is there an aspect of health you’ve felt pressure to integrate into your life? Let me know in the comments.

My Favorite Breakfast That Gives Me Energy

I’m not the biggest breakfast person, but I’ve learned that what I eat for breakfast (or if I eat breakfast at all) determines how the rest of my morning goes.

I’ve gone through phases where I’ve only had coffee, or I’ve had a coffee and a smoothie every morning. Both kind of left me hungry or didn’t give me energy.

So, I tried oatmeal. I always thought oatmeal was boring, but I messed around with different things I liked and found something I loved.

I’m not a nutritionist or dietitian so there may be ways to make oatmeal that are healthier, but here is my favorite morning oatmeal recipe:

½ cup of Oatmeal, 1 cup of water, heated in microwave for 1.5 minutes

1 scoop of Jif crunchy peanut butter

1 banana, cut into slices

1 handful of raspberries & blueberries

1 dash of cinnamon

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Is there a breakfast you love that gives you energy? Tell me in the comments.

What is Helping Me Drink in Moderation

Kelly Sikkema

Right now, we are in the middle of football tailgating season and I love a good tailgate.

I also love a good brewery, holiday get-together, wedding, or meet-up with old friends.

All these fun things usually involve more than the average amount of drinking, or least for me it does. Having some drinks is a social norm for a lot of people I spend time with and environments I’m in.

But then there is the day after a large amount of drinking. My stomach hurts, my head hurts, and most of all, I get anxious. Anxious to the point where my physical feeling matches my mental feeling in terms of how much it hurts.

When I was in college, I kind of just dealt with the anxiety over and over because it felt like such a way of life. I've found now in my adult life that that endless cycle is unsustainable and doesn't contribute to what I'm trying to accomplish in life.

Some would say just cut out drinking entirely and I have thought about it.

However, I really do enjoy a beer at a brewery in any city that I'm visiting. In college, I did a brewery tour for college credit to get educated in the beer process and supply chain of it, and I’ve now been to close to 90 breweries. There is more to beer than just drinking it to me.

I love going to my parents’ house and having a pre-dinner cocktail with my mom like it is a ritual that I'm home.

I love rolling up to a Penn State football tailgate and being the bartender for everyone.

I think there is a way to still participate in the drinking at these events but drink in moderation. As always, there is a balance to everything.

I don’t always get it perfect, and my family and friends know I’ve had my share of rough nights. However, I want to share some tactics I’ve been using recently to help me drink in moderation, have fun, and not end up with a headache or anxiety the next day.

Ordering a water anytime I order a drink.

If I’m at a bar or restaurant, anytime I order a drink, I try to also order water. This has made drinking water more accessible and more likely for me to consume it.

I’m the girl at the bar that tells herself that the next thing I’ll order is water and gets peer pressured into ordering another drink instead. Or I’ll be sitting there empty-handed, and I feel like I need to order another drink just because it feels weird to be standing there with no cup in my hand.

By ordering a water each time I order a drink, I’ve made it easier for myself to stay hydrated, not default to just drinking more alcohol every time I finish a drink, and not have anyone saying I’m “lame” for only ordering a water the next time I go up to the bar (which is not lame by the way and is you just taking care of yourself).

Putting a non-alcoholic drink in a glass cup.

Sometimes after a long day at work, I want to sit on the couch and have a drink. I will let myself have one during the work week occasionally, but I know drinking doesn’t help me sleep and doesn’t get me re-charged for the next day.

Something I’ve found that holds me over and tricks my brain into thinking I’m having a drink is putting a non-alcoholic drink in a wine or cocktail glass. It makes me feel fancy without the headache.

I especially like putting fizzy or carbonated drinks in my glass like sparkling water, or my personal favorite, Bai Bubbles (which is rarely available to me at my local grocery store so if you see this somewhere at a reasonable price please help a girl out). Friends and family have also recently introduced me to Zevia and Fresca. 

Bringing non-alcoholic drinks that aren't water that I enjoy.

If I’m going to a tailgate or some type of house party, sometimes I will bring myself pop, sparkling water, or Gatorade to have between drinks or when I really don’t want any more alcohol.

Sometimes water between drinks feels boring and I want something with flavor, but I don’t want any more alcohol.

Having something non-alcoholic available that I enjoy helps me not default to drinking alcohol I really don’t need to have.

Is there anything you do that helps you drink in moderation? Tell me in the comments below.

Does Where You Workout Matter?

Yulissa Tagle

Before Covid, I went to the gym or yoga studio almost everyday.

When we went into lockdown, I had to figure out how to workout or do yoga from home.

When the lockdown lifted, I was probably one of the first people to get to the gym despite the extra protocols you had to follow while there. However, I continued to do about half my workouts at home out of pure laziness of not wanting to take that extra step to leave the house.

Working out from home just became so accessible all of a sudden, something I'm super thankful for and maybe something the world needed.

There were a lot of at-home options that I loved.

I found my favorite Youtube workouts. I recommend Sydney Cummings for challenging dumbbell workouts or The Studio by Jaime Kinkeade for a great dance workout.

I found my favorite Youtube yoga teachers. My favorite has been Yoga with Kassandra, especially her yin classes.

I also got to support my local yoga studios and teachers by doing their online zoom classes. I found this to be a great option for before work or during the lunch breaks when you just can't quite make it to the actual studio.

For the last year and a half, I've been on this hybrid workout schedule.

However, I've felt this need lately to start making more of my workouts happen outside my home. 

Like I said, I love the option of working out at-home, but there is something about getting to the gym or doing a group class with other people.

There is this extra motivation that hits me. There is a feeling of belonging, and not isolation. There is this feeling that I'm not the only one pushing through this really hard workout (or any other hard life thing).

Motivation and belonging are things I lost during covid and I want to get them back.

I think working from home, resting at home, and doing just about everything else at home made getting into the workout mindset not easy as well.

It is something about place identity and my body and brain doesn't like doing my workout in the same space I do my work all day or rest at night.

So I’m in the process of doing some "gym shopping" and trying to get to the yoga studio more. I've already had some better workouts and met some new people.

While me going to the gym or yoga studio may require extra time, effort, and money, maybe doing something that contributes to my health and happiness is exactly what I should be spending my energy on.

I want to challenge myself to get out of the house more for workouts as I think it is something that will improve my overall mental and physical well-being. However, everything is a balance and there are days where working out at home is going to serve me more.

Ultimately, I'm very thankful for the multiple options out there to move my body in whatever phase, feeling, or season I am in.

What do you prefer right now, gym workouts, at-home workouts, or a mix? Tell me in the comments below.

Unlearning Perfection: You Don't Have the Perfect Body

Part 3 of the Unlearning Perfection series, a short blog series exploring where I first learned about perfection, my 10+ years of gymnastics, and the lessons I’m unlearning now.

I didn't have the ideal gymnastics body.

I was too tall. I had lanky legs and peaked at about 5'7''.

I wasn't naturally flexible. I often was threatened to be sent to the rhythmic gymnastics mats where the girls stretched for half the practice.

My most common critique was "suck your ribs in." I had an unusually concave chest since birth that made my ribs stick out a little too far for the ideal gymnast look. Who knew at 11-years-old you had to be conscious about what your ribs looked like.

There were girls that had the body. They were tiny, flexible, strong, powerful, artistic. I saw them as talented because of the body they had.

That meant I had to work a little harder. I needed to train a little harder to get the ideal body. I needed to train a little harder to get my body to flip on a 4-inch piece of wood, hurl myself over a large stationary object, and have the image that the judges wanted.

I always I had it in mind to stay in gymnastics shape and have the ideal body for it.

Even as I continually reached for the ideal gymnastics body, I didn't feel like I had the ideal teen body either.

You know the cute, pretty girls that were on TV and in magazines. These girls didn't have the arm muscles like I did and that led me to being self conscious. I cringed at every school dance picture I saw because I thought my arms were too big.

I was an expert at picking out the things that were wrong with my body.

But I also knew that I wasn't the only one.

As I watched social media come more into our lives in late high school and into college, I felt like a lot of girls were experts on picking out what was wrong with their body. They didn’t have the same belly or legs as the girls as they saw on Instagram every day so they knew what to pick out as wrong.

The most common phrase I heard in a dressing room or when a friend would try on a cute outfit was "I look huge," before they would ever say anything good about how they looked.

Between gymnastics and being surrounded by this mindset, I'm surprised I didn't have more body issues than I did. And I feel so incredibly thankful for that.

I'm thankful that even though I was in environments that didn't promote the best body image, I wasn't harder on myself because I watched other girls rip their bodies apart.

I'm thankful social media didn't come into play until very late in my teens, which I predict would have created more emphasis on the "ideal" body.

I'm thankful I allowed myself in elementary school to eat a sleeve of Oreos before practice because that is what being a high-metabolism kid is about right?

I'm thankful that gymnastics gave me the tools to know how to train my body and build and tone specific muscles.

I'm thankful that from going through these years of picking out my flaws and watching other girls do the same, I now know that there is no perfect body.

There is just my body that is uniquely mine. A body that has curves and marks that are different than the next girl. A body that is strong and beautiful. A body that is capable of more than I can probably imagine.

Fast forward to now, and while I still catch myself picking out my body's flaws, I'm trying to learn to love what I see in the mirror.

Here are some questions I'm using to help me do that:

Do I give my body the credit it deserves?

Our bodies have been through a lot. Our bodies have worked hard to balance our busy lives while still trying to take care of our health, and that is not an easy feat. Yet, the first thing we see when we look in the mirror is our flaws, instead of how far we've come. Sometimes we don't give credit to making time for workouts or eating foods that give our bodies energy. Sometimes we don’t give love and grace to our bodies that have been through pregnancies, surgeries, injuries, or times of high stress. You have put in the work to take care of your body one way or another, so why not give yourself credit for that?

Am I letting external factors determine if I love my body?

I think sometimes we let the outside world determine if we are going to love our bodies or not. We give power to the number that is on the scale, the jean size we wear, and whether we look like the models on Instagram. If we had none of those external factors, would we still love the bodies we're in? Makes us consider what we, ourselves, love about our bodies instead of what society is telling us to love (or not love) about our bodies.

Is the way I talk about my body the way I would talk to someone I love about their body?

If a loved one said they looked bad, you most likely wouldn't say "yes you do." Instead, you would probably say something to make them feel better or provide a suggestion that would lead them to feeling better. Whether that was suggesting a skin treatment they could try to clear up acne, a different way to wear an outfit that makes it look more flattering on them, or a workout you know of that could make them feel good. What if we were as kind to ourselves as we are to others?

What would make me proud of this body?

Most of the time, I think we feel most proud of our bodies when they're feeling good and functioning properly. We feel like we can take on the world when our body is feeling its best. So what can I do to make my body feel best? That might be is hitting the gym, getting more sleep, seeing a doctor, or having more positive self talk.

I'm realizing that we have this one unique body and this one unique life, and it is just too short to not love it.

I am on the journey to unlearn how to pick out my body's imperfections, so that I can learn to love what I see in the mirror.