I had heard yoga teacher training (YTT) will change your life.
Even though I heard how great it would be, I was open-minded going into the experience.
I think that is how I got as much out of it as I did.
They say you should wait and let the dust settle before sitting down and writing out your experience. I'm glad I did.
I'm glad I waited because I'm seeing the effects that the training had on me more today than I did when it actually ended.
There is a lot that is different about me than when I first started the training. The biggest change has been doing things with a softer heart and a more focused mind.
Not being so quick to respond, leading with hope instead of fear, trusting myself more to make decisions, and embracing the people in my life are a few examples.
I knew I wanted to write about this experience to help me process it. However, I didn’t want to just process this experience. I wanted to celebrate this chapter. I wanted to honor this chapter of life.
Every trainee has their own story. This is mine.
May 2020
I was living at my parents’ house in Columbus for 7 weeks. My parents were unemployed, my sisters were home from college, and I was doing my corporate job from my childhood desk.
I don't have to tell you that we were in the middle of the COVID-19 pandemic, but for my future self, that was the time period.
Not a situation I expected to be in.
I found myself landing on my yoga mat day after day. It gave me certainty, stability, and support when I needed it most.
I had been doing yoga for a little over a year, but this time made me truly fall in love with the practice.
This is when I first considered teaching.
June 2020
I was back living at my apartment in Copley and I started researching where I wanted to do my training. I didn't really have a home yoga studio at this point, so I was open to options.
I looked and practiced at a few studios in the Akron area. I landed on doing my training at Yoga Squared.
The schedule and price fit my life, and there was a strong sense of community where I felt like I could truly grow.
I signed up to start in October.
October 2020
I start my training and I already knew I was on to something.
I loved the connection of the body and the mind. It felt like I was here to celebrate that.
For a while now, I'd considered myself a self-healer. I take it upon myself to work through hard things and find creative ways to move forward.
During the second week of training, I realized that there were past traumas I'd been trying to heal for a long time that I hadn't been able to heal on my own.
I knew in this training I would learn a lot about myself and that it may be emotional, but I didn't expect it to happen so quickly.
I ended up finding a therapist the very next week to help me work through some of my traumas. It has been 6 months since I started seeing her. She is a new type of support I hadn't considered before and am thankful to have found her.
Whether YTT intended to teach me or not, I learned that healing happens in all shapes and forms, and you don't have to do it alone.
It can be through journaling, talking to a supportive family member, going to a yoga class, taking a walk, or talking to a therapist.
As a yoga teacher, I was learning to guide people in their healing, whatever that may look like.
November 2020
COVID got really bad. Everyone knew someone who had it. Some of my family members got it. There was a time I was exposed, but had tested negative.
The only two places I could be found was at home or the yoga studio. Training became such a bright light during a dark time. Even though we had to take the precautions of masks and social distancing, being together in a room with people was a powerful thing.
I will say that my YTT experience would have been very different if it wasn't during COVID. There were no social events going on, I was working from home, and the world felt like it was in turmoil.
YTT was a space to work through it together. We weren't only there to learn to teach yoga and support people in healing, but we were able to connect with others when everyone felt alone. I will never forget those moments of leaning on my fellow trainees.
Later in the month, my mom asked if we could start practicing yoga together over zoom. I could practice my teaching, she could develop her yoga, and we could have a standing mother/daughter meeting each week.
It’s been 6 months of practicing together after work on Monday evenings and I love getting to do it.
December 2020
I started asking where I fit within the yoga community. What clothes do yoga teachers wear? What food do yoga teachers eat? Does a teacher wear brand name clothes or shy away from them? Are all yoga teachers vegan?
These are the questions I asked myself as I tried to figure out where I belonged. I started to think about what parts of myself I was going to bring to the yoga space or if this was a place I could truly bring my whole self.
Thanks to my wonderful teachers and fellow trainees, I learned that this was a place I did not need to mold myself.
I could wear what made me feel comfortable and eat what made me feel nourished.
They wanted the real me. My future students wanted the real me.
I took this into account as I started to teach at the front of the room during training. Teaching yoga is harder than it looks and I started to have the greatest respect for those teachers I admired.
January 2021
We got the opportunity to take reiki level one training. Reiki is a Japanese healing method, with “rei” meaning higher consciousness and “ki” meaning life force energy. Some yoga teachers incorporate reiki into their classes.
Reiki training opened my eyes to the vibrations of the cells in our body and how we can use reiki to increase the frequency of the cells to promote healing.
I was skeptical about reiki at first, but as I explored it more, I saw how impactful it can be on the body, mind, and spirit.
I went on to complete my reiki level two training and now have a morning reiki practice that I perform on myself.
As I learned about reiki and other tools to use in my yoga teaching, I realized how creative yoga could be.
There is a theme of the practice. There is the music and lights. There are poses and sequences. There are props. There is the level of your voice and the energy you bring. There is the environment in which you're practicing.
There are so many things that go into it that you can create something new each practice you teach. We just need to let our creative spirit out.
February 2021
I started exploring what it means to find your dharma. In the yogic teaching, your dharma is your duty or purpose.
I was really thinking about my purpose, so I loved exploring what my dharma was.
I don't think we have to go searching for our dharma, but we find it by doing the things we are drawn to. It isn’t one specific thing, but an overarching principle or purpose that spans across a lot of things.
I think my dharma is to support people in finding resources that better their mental health, like yoga, journaling, reiki, and certain lifestyle choices.
I have struggled with anxiety and knowing there are resources to help has been powerful in improving my well-being.
Everything we do depends on the state of our mental health and if I can support someone in finding grace, acceptance, and compassion for themselves and others, that would be so rewarding.
Maybe my dharma will change. Maybe it won't.
As I explored my dharma more, I started to see how similar yoga and journaling were. I had been journaling for the past three years and I kept finding these synchronicities in yoga. Yoga and journaling are tools to help us be the person we want to be. They're safe spaces to work through things without judgement.
This is when I first came up with the idea to create a yoga + journaling workshop to introduce yogis to journaling.
I ended up hosting my first workshop in May 2021 at Yoga Squared and it was everything and more I wanted it to be. It was as if all the work I had put into my journaling and yoga was coming together.
March 2021
It was time to bring everything I learned from YTT and teach my first demo/class. It was a final examination, but felt like a celebration of becoming a teacher.
I was going to get to share everything I learned from my six months of training with my family, friends, and fellow trainees.
About an hour and a half before the demo, a family matter boiled over and I was in full tears.
In that moment, I had to decide if I was going to carry this into the yoga studio with me. I decided I was going to put it off to the side for now and revisit later because teaching this demo was too important to me.
The demo went better than I could have even expected. Being in the front of the room teaching, I felt I was exactly where I was supposed to be. Maybe I needed a good cry to be able to let go and teach from the heart.
April 2021
My fellow trainees gathered with our teachers to celebrate all the hard work we had done and the bonds we had forged. I couldn't believe it was actually ending. It was a life changing experience, especially alongside a pandemic.
I’m not sure what my yoga journey looks like in the future. Is it teaching, hosting workshops, additional teacher training, or continuing to be a student?
Many people ask, “well don’t you go through yoga teacher training so that you can teach?” Yes and no.
I began training because I wanted to teach and learn more about yoga as a practice.
I learned through the training that teaching yoga is no small feat and the best teachers have to put their heart and time into creating these wonderful sixty-minute experiences.
If I learned anything in YTT it is this: It doesn’t have to be this OR that. It can be this AND that.
It doesn’t have to be one or the other. It can be a little bit of everything. Everything doesn’t have to happen all at once or right now.
Nothing is permanent. We are always changing, shifting, and re-arranging.
I see myself continuing to practice with my mom, maybe do some more workshops, and be a yoga student. Maybe I’ll shift into teaching a regular class in the future or maybe I won’t.
I will just be forever grateful for the opportunity to experience this 200-hour yoga teacher training and I can’t wait to see where I go on my yoga journey.
A Few Special Thank Yous:
My teachers, Nikki & Kate Woodford-Shell -- Thank you for sharing your wisdom and holding space for me to learn and explore. I know I will continue to learn from you.
My fellow YTT trainees -- While we went on this journey as individuals and each had our own deeply personal experience, we also went on this journey together. I can't imagine doing it without you guys.
My boyfriend Chris and roommate Emily -- Thank you for listening to every little thing I learned through this experience, even if you didn't always understand it.
My mom -- Thank you for being my first student and practicing with me every week over zoom.
My dad and sisters Ally & Lilly -- Thank you for your constant support and cheering me on endlessly.
