When Does Reflection Become Rumination?

I used to see reflection - in work and life - as good as it helps us learn from our experiences. 

But is there such thing as too much reflection?

Can reflection become rumination?

I asked myself this question when I listened to Chris Williamson's Modern Wisdom podcast with his guest Freya India.

She discussed therapy culture and how specifically girls are ruminating on thoughts that often lead to anxiety or depression. I recommend giving it a listen even for the 1st 30 minutes.

By definition, rumination is:

A repetitive and passive thought pattern, involves dwelling on negative experiences or situations, often focusing on the causes and effects of distress without actively seeking solutions or moving forward. 

I see rumination show up:

At work - when multiple co-workers come together to complain about a problem, raising each others emotions more and more as it's shared collectively, and a lot of times no action is taken.

In life - when you're journaling about the same thing over and over again and no action is taken to change that.

We see this too in a culture where we are encouraged to reflect on everything, set goals, meditate, journal, go to therapy, etc.

Yes connection to others and ourselves are good parts of reflection, but when does it become excessive?

When does reflection become rumination?

How do we know we've gotten to that point?

The easy answer: at the point where no action is taken 

The hard answer: when we no longer trust ourselves to take the next step forward

—

I'll give you an example of when reflection became rumination for me (and maybe they will help you discover them in yourself)

A relationship I needed to get out of -

I thought having a daily journal practice was helpful in working through problems I was having in a relationship.

Until every journal entry day after day became about the same relationship problems with little to no action taken after.

Not to mention it came up in every therapy session and conversation with a friend.

Reflection quickly became rumination 

It took until the rumination showed up in my body physically as heart pounding, headaches, and a constant pit in my stomach.  Looking back, my intuition and body were telling me something needed to change.

What I learned from that experience is to not let to rumination get to that point. Take action.

When I eventually addressed the problems, they couldn't be resolved, and I decided to leave the relationship, the physical symptoms went away almost like a 500lb rock had been lifted off my chest. 

I wish I hadn't ignored my feelings and reflections, and trusted myself more.

There are many other stories I could tell you about reflection becoming rumination.

Maybe you can relate to:

• Creative projects not making it past the pages of my journal because of imposter syndrome

• Over perfecting my business website, but not taking action to get actual sales

• Not communicating with a co-worker about on-going problems to the point it built resentment

Hopefully 1 of these stories helps you reflect on your reflections (but not ruminate too much of course!).

Makes me believe that reflection becomes rumination when you no longer trust your thoughts and abilities.

Trust is built with ourselves when we write down what we want to do and then we do it. Again and again and again.

Your morning is a perfect time to build this muscle.

You can use what I call the NOW Model to not get stuck at N and O and take action NOW!

It may take many mornings and reps, but it's how we prove to ourselves that we can go from reflection to action.

Because everyone deserves to wake up feeling proud and trusting that there is a path forward.

How to Find (Good) Ideas For Your Morning Routine

The secret to a great morning routine isn’t copying someone else’s—it’s knowing which parts to ignore.

Say you want to do something other than work, be interesting, well-rounded, but you just don't know what that is.

And maybe you've tried the healthy or woo woo things people say to do in the morning and you're just straight up not interested in them.

We can gain inspiration from other people's paths, but following someone else's routine copy/paste isn't what is going to get YOU out of bed.

So how do you find something that's going to get YOU out of bed?

Step 1: Draw Your Life Pie

Identify the 3-6 sections of your life. Think about…

• Who do you want to be? What does that person do?

• What do you want to make time for?

• What are your priorities?

Examples of pieces: Family, friends, work, health, hobbies, home, etc.

Consider what activities could be in each of these pieces.

(health could include sleep, journaling, working out, therapy)

I recommend having…

• Minimum of 3: to diversify your identity & happiness

• Maximum of 6: to get really clear on who you want to be

Focus on drawing your ideal Life Pie, recognizing what you’re doing right now is maybe not where you want to be. Hopefully this exercise gets you closer to the life you want to be living.

Step 2: Decide what pie piece & activity you want to use your morning for.

Use these questions to help select the RIGHT activity for your morning:

• What do you crave in the morning?

• What frequently gets lost in your day that you could put first?

• What requires focus?

• What requires no socialization?

• What do you like your morning to look like on vacation?

• What would you be bummed you didn't do this time next year?

• What did you like to do as a kid that you could do the adult version now?

Examples:

You could go on a walk because that is what your ideal morning looks like on vacation and contributes to your health pie piece.

You could choose to write a book because that’s what you keep saying you’re going to do every year and contributes to your interests pie piece.

You could do yoga because this is the adult version of doing gymnastics as a kid and contributes to your health pie piece.

—

Your morning routine plan being derived from your Life Pie reinforces what you’re doing is important and is worth getting out of bed for.

But that COULD mean tuning out what everyone is doing and finding what works for you.

But that’s when you start living YOUR life instead of someone else’s.

I Was A Part Of The 70%

According to a McKinsey study, 70% of us see work as our sole purpose.

I predict we've learned this idea from:

• Older generations passing it down

• College focusing solely on you getting a job

The challenge with work being our sole purpose:

• Puts pressure on work to be perfect

• Happiness is coming from 1 thing

• Becomes our identity

I was a part of that 70%.

Age 22, fresh out of college, at my first corporate job -

I would roll myself out of bed, get ready, and commute 30 mins to work in the dark through cornfields - hoping my coffee would wake me up in time for when I arrived to the office.

I would walk into the office with an energetic smile and plop myself down at my desk. I was a try-hard, perfectionist, and I was ready to absolutely kill it at work.

Because I thought work was everything.

But as the first few months went on - getting up, driving to work, and sitting down at my desk 5 days a week (when people were still going to the office 5 days a week), I started to think…

"I think there is more than this."

Not in the "maybe the grass is greener somewhere else" kind of way or not being thankful for where I was at, but was curious IF you could do things outside of work.

Slowly, the drives to work became my time to think about what I could be or do outside of work. 

I would listen to podcasts interviewing entrepreneurs, creatives, and writers doing all these cool things..

When I finished my drive and got to my desk, I found myself writing sticky notes of habits/activities I could try, and blog ideas and podcast scripts for things I wanted to talk about.

But how would I have time to do these things? I was always so tired after work!

Making these fun things part of my morning routine became the opportune time - weren't social events going on, I could prioritize what I wanted to do, and start my day on my own terms.

I could BE more than my work.

Over the next 6 years - those sticky notes and early mornings turned into writing 40 podcasts, 128 blog posts, 191 newsletters, 1900+ journal entries, a Morning Routine Workbook, a Morning Routine Workshop, & much more.

Because of making space in the morning.

But if you're considering doing something outside of work, I know the morning doesn't work for everyone.

Maybe you’re in a stage in your life where the evening is better - take the morning or evening routine advice you need & leave the rest for someone else.

Or maybe you’re in a stage where work needs to be everything - consider how a 2-min grounding morning routine could make your work better.

Or maybe you feel like being a wife, mom, or partner is your sole purpose right now.

No matter where you’re at in your life, I don't want you to ignore the nudge to:

1. Be curious - lean into the "I think there is more than this"

2. Write the sticky notes or journal - so you can build on your ideas over time

3. Find time that works for you to think or act on these - in the morning, in the car, on a walk, etc.

If I had ignored it, I would still be the girl defining herself by 1 thing, and I know I'm so much more than that.

And so are you!

How To Know When You're Doing Enough (in the morning & life)

I booked a speaking gig this week I would have killed to book 2 years ago.

I got it and thought “Ok now I need more.”

I heard a similar story from someone when they talked about their morning routine. 

"I'm waking up at 6am now, but I could be doing earlier."

Or when my fellow health-conscious friends talking about their workouts.

"I worked out 3x this week, but I could be doing more."

When is what we’re doing enough?

We've done ourselves a disservice by not identifying what "enough" means.

3 questions that have helped give myself credit (while still pushing forward):

1) What does a good day/morning/workout look like?

Identifying 3 priorities that would make today a good day or what is the 1 target goal post you're going after.

2) What am I doing majority of the time?

Even when I miss a day, focusing on the fact that I hit 6 out of 7.

3) Would my younger self be proud?

Would your college self be proud of where you sit today? Would your 13 year old self be excited to hear where you're today?

This one gets me in the feels.

Because maybe just maybe, it's even better than you imagined.

P.S. you’re doing enough.

How To Find Your Next Hobby (and Make It Part of Your Morning Routine)

I usually tell people I started writing when I was 23.

But I really started when I was 10.

Before the time of phones and iPads, we had to get creative with how we entertained ourselves

1 form of entertainment I found was writing "Family Time Magazine" -

an 18-page word document made with WordArt font, printed out, hole punched, and tied with yarn (gosh my poor parents color printer).

It was collection of what was playing in the movie theatre, the weather report, and whatever my 10 year old self thought was noteworthy.

Fast forward to 23 -

I would commute 1 hour round trip to my first corporate job, pondering ways I could entertain myself or do more than just work.

When I finished my drive and got to my desk, I found myself writing on sticky notes blog ideas and podcast scripts for things I wanted to talk about.

I even started using my morning before work to journal and experiment with blogging and podcasting.

Over the next 6 years - those ideas turned into writing…

• 40 podcasts

• 128 blog posts

• 191 newsletters

• 1900+ journal entries

• A Morning Routine Workshop

• A Morning Routine Workbook

(limited colored printing this time)

Kind of ironic how what entertained me as a kid is entertaining me as an adult…

Or is it?

When people say they want to have hobbies and make it part of their morning routine, but aren't really sure what they would do, there a few questions that can help:

• What did you like to do as a kid that you could now do the "adult version" of now?

• What intrigues you from what you see on social media or tv?

• What do you want to do after work that you're usually too tired to do? 

While this is a great brainstorming activity, it didn't always help them find "the thing" they wanted to do. 

I didn't sit down 1 time and know what I wanted to do…

It was 3 steps done over and over again…

1) Slow down enough to notice what you want (and more than once)

It was my drive to work each day that allowed me to slow down and think about what I want 

2) Journal about it

Organizing my thoughts and getting it down on paper so I didn't forget and can build on them 

3) Take action & experiment to get clarity on what it is

I could plan all I want, but taking action is when you get clear on what you want to do

Simply:

Notice the thoughts

Wrestle with the thoughts

Take action on the thoughts

So if you aren't sure what your next move is, maybe use your morning routine to notice, wrestle, and take action on your thoughts.

Because I'm starting to think that what we want to do has always been inside of us, but have we slowed down enough to listen to what that is?

Should You Share Your Goals?

I've never shared my new years goals with someone.

But this year I did.

And the response was interesting…

But before I share that, I've gone back and forth on if you should share your goals.

Maybe you've decided this is the year you're going to do something besides work, start a morning routine, hit the gym consistently, or finally start writing the blog. 

Telling people could:

• Hold you accountable

• Give them a chance to support you

• Provide you constructive feedback from someone who knows a lot about you or your goal

But there is also:

• Fear of judgement of someone giving the "The Look" of you're crazy

• Not constructive feedback from someone who knows nothing about you or your goal

• Extra pressure to make it happen

Rightfully so - it's scary enough for you to say your goals out loud, let alone tell someone else.

But for my 2025 goals, I did tell people. 

People who:

1. Know me

2. Are goal-oriented themselves

3. Won't give me "The Look"

4. Believe in me sometimes even more than I believe in myself

The result:

1. Encouragement

2. A challenge to be more measurable

3. Questions on what I'm going to tackle first & when

4. Shared interest in my goal

So should you share your goals?

Based on my experience - it's being selective about who.

Tell people who are going to help push you forward, not hold you back.

Whether you decide to share or not, remember…

1. You aren't crazy

2. Your goals aren't crazy

3. There is no better year than this year to make them happen

If you want support in making time for your goals, EMAIL ME with what you’re working on and we can chat about how to make them part of your morning!

My Alcohol Journey - and How You Can Make It Past Dry January

I had no intention of getting sober.

But I did wonder, "would my life be better without alcohol?"

This is main question Amanda White poses in her book Not Drinking Tonight.

I picked up the book in January 2022 (here’s my initial blog post on it), after coming from a world where…

• My family is always ready to throw the next killer football tailgate or 4th of July party

• A college setting where one could argue the only activity was to drink

• A social culture where "getting a drink" is the go-to for meeting friends or going on dates

3 years later - I can confidently say my life is better without alcohol, or at least less of it.

My life now looks like:

• the default is to not drink, but I will on special occasion (maybe 1 a month)

• my fam, friends, co-workers have mocktail options available when they host

• not waking up hungover, and instead getting up to work on my side business

But I'll make it clear it wasn't easy to get to this point, but so worth it.

When friends come to me curious about the Dry January movement of not drinking (or maybe going past January) -

here are the 3 keys I share:

1) Set the default to not drinking

Instead of always saying yes to being offered a drink, the default became no.

This gave me a moment to ask myself

"Am I excited to have this drink?

Or

"Am I getting it because everyone else is getting one?"

Drinking became an intuitive thing and saying yes to only the things I was excited about became empowering and made a drink feel special.

But what if you feel weird having nothing in your hands…

2) Know the mocktail options

So you're not drinking, but still want to join in on the festivities.

Knowing and getting creative with the non-alcoholic options is key!

Over the past 3 years, so many restaurants have added mocktail and NA beer options.

Some of my go-tos:

• At a bar: Heineken Zero

• At a tailgate: Athletic brewing or Brewdog NA

• At work happy hour: non-alcoholic moscow mule

• At a restaurant: fancy mocktail on their menu

This allows you to join in with a drink in a fancy glass that isn't water.

This kind of shuts up the people who are pushing you to drink too.

They do them, and you do you.

But the right environment can bypass this pressure…

3) Get in environments not centered around alcohol

Suggesting to friends or dates to go on a walk, play pickleball, get a coffee.

Doing this becomes eye opening! 

It may become apparent that some friends are your "party friends" and you start to feel distant from them.

But you will also find new friends and new hobbies on this journey.

I'm now in a friend group that plays pickleball.

I'm in a relationship where not drinking was a 2 second conversation on our 1st walking date because we were on the same page.

You see what you're looking for. The more you seek it out, the more you'll find things and people that align.

The secret:

1. It's reps - not drinking 1 event at a time

2. It's being ok being the odd one out in the beginning

3. It's noticing how much better you feel when you don't drink, and how not yourself you feel when you do 

IT GETS EASIER, I PROMISE.

Always here to chat more about it if you want to!

3 Short & Sweet Lessons Shaping My 2025

Every year is the year we think we'll figure it out.

We figure out some things..sometimes we get lucky..while other times we get absolutely slapped in the face.

As a 29-year-old who this year…

• Spoke at Fortune 500 companies

• Got promoted

• Exited her single girl era

• Started playing pickleball weekly

• Built her dream office in her home

• Threw her dog a 1st birthday party

• Went on 4 trips with family

• Enjoyed the little things while still being hungry for more

Also struggled with…

• Imposter syndrome

• People pleasing

• Work stress

• Bad 1st dates

• Acne

• Life direction

• Societal pressure

Here are 3 short & sweet lessons shaping my 2025…

Lesson #1: The consistent, little things add up

• Putting in 20 minutes in the morning to the side business

• The clearly communicated email

• That 30 minute workout squeezed in at lunch

• Putting $100 into savings

• Writing the unexpected thank you note 

The little things are the path to the big things.

But don't forget the big actions too…

Lesson #2: Ask for what you want

• Asking for the raise, instead of waiting for someone to give it to you

• Telling your partner what you need, instead of thinking they should just know

• Asking someone directly to give your side business a chance, instead of thinking they'll just stumble upon it

• Being open with your family/friends about what you want for your life so they can help you make it happen

But be careful what you put out into the world because you might just get it…

Lesson #3: Know where the goal post is

• If you don't know where the goal post is, you never feel satisfied

• If you keep moving the goal post, what you did is never enough

• When you hit a goal, it's easy to immediately jump to what's next

What does a good [fill in the blank] look like?

• Net worth

• Job

• Body

• House

• Side business

• Relationship

Know it.

Meet it.

Celebrate it.

Figure out the next one.

—

What lessons are you taking into 2025? Lemme know as I want to hear!

Thankful for all you who read these weekly newsletter! Wishing you the best in the new year; you got this!

Break The Work, Eat, Sleep Cycle: The 2-Step Guide To Start Healthy Habits and Hobbies

At the ripe age of 23, I had my first identity crisis.

I sat at my corporate job knowing I wanted to BE more and DO more than work, eat, sleep.

I eventually went on to:

• Start a podcast

• Complete 200-hr yoga teacher training

• Launch a business

BUT it was a 4-year winding road with a lot of breaks and doubting

Here's how I went from sitting at my corporate job with big ideas to taking consistent action on my health & hobbies

(so you can do it in less time than I did)

1) Start a morning journal practice

Start with answering 1 journal prompt or question each morning to explore who you want to become.

My favorite: The Life Pie Exercise

If your life was a pie, what are the 4-6 pieces?

(health, family, friends, hobbies, etc.)

This represents who you want to be & how you want to spend your time.

BUT DON'T GET STUCK HERE

Start taking action right after that!

2) Habit stack action

Once you get a consistent journal practice down, take action on something that contributes to your Life Pie.

Most common action is doing something for your health or hobbies since these get lost in our day easily.

Example:

• During my journal practice - I got clarity I wanted to start a hobby of podcasting

• After my journal practice - I would work on the podcast

Before I knew it, I wasn't just a corporate employee.

I was also a daily journaler, podcaster, and proud of the person I was becoming. 

THE KEY:

Doing this in the morning!

Pairing a morning journal practice + action helps you…

1. Prioritize what's important to you (so it doesn't get lost in your day)

2. Use your freshest energy on what's important to you (instead of someone else)

3. Gives you purpose to get out of bed (and eliminate the dreadful mornings)

So what are you waiting for? Start tomorrow!

--

Need the push to get started? The Morning Routine Workbook as a 3-step guide to getting started + 12-month habit tracker to hold you accountable!

3 Tools To Level Up Your Life in 2025

1 thing I know about you is that you want to level-up!

Steal these 3 tools I used to level-up this year that I plan to use again!

(and just in time for the 2025 edition of all of these to be on sale this Black Friday)

—

The Big A** Calendar

If you're a planner and want to make time for the RIGHT things, this large, 3-foot calendar is amazing!

I have mine up in my home office and it's a way to see my whole year in 1 place! It fills me with both excitement and gratitude for the year ahead!

And if you're not following Jesse Itzler (the creator) yet, you're missing out!

—

The Wealth Planner

If you want to track your budget, savings, and net worth - this is a 1-stop shop!

Money with Katie created this extensive excel sheet that has completely changed how I look at my personal finances (not to mention feel excited about my progress)!

She also has a podcast and newsletter that I highly recommend checking out!

—

The Morning Routine Workbook

If you finally want to do a morning routine for more than 3 days, my Morning Routine Workbook is the key to making that happen!

This workbook is based on my proven, 3-step morning routine method that has gotten my clients to:

• wake up earlier

• workout in the morning

• quit their bad phone habits

• start working on their side hustle

Not to mention includes a 12-month tracker to hold you accountable! 

Digital + hard copy will go on sale Black Friday!

You’re This Close To Becoming More -- Get Started With A Morning Routine

When I was 23, I sat at my first job saying "I think there is more than this."

I loved my job, but I knew I wanted to be…

• Healthy

• Seek out new interests

• Live an exciting, well-rounded life

I didn’t really have anyone around me showing me this or to tell my crazy ideas to. 

But I knew I had to do something….

1) I started with healthy habits like journaling and morning routines.

2) I explored interests like strength workouts, yoga teacher training, podcasting, blogging, etc.

3) I started to feel excited to get out bed & felt in control of my life!

I started to believe…

“I am more than this.”

So if you're in the "I think there is more than this" stage, I want you to know

• You're more than your work

• It takes 1 journal entry, 1 morning to get started

• The ideas in your head are not crazy

Don't wake up next year in the same place you're right now.

Start taking action towards the person you want to become.

—

Schedule a free 15 min call this week and we can chat about using your morning to make time for your ideas!

3 Reminders When You Feel Judged For Your Idea

I've gotten "The Look" a lot.

6 years ago - I got it for the first time.

Today - I get it less, but it's still there.

"The Look" I'm talking about - 

The confused, possibly judgmental, face someone gives when you tell them about your idea, interest, endeavor, or business.

• Starting a podcast

• Opening a business

• Posting online

It's a look of "you're crazy" and it's the #1 thing that holds us back from pursuing our idea.

If you've experienced this -  

3 reminders that helped me overcome the "The Look" and kept me moving forward on my ideas (so that you can too)

— 

1) You're not crazy

Believe in your idea - because if you don't, no one else will.

Who knows - your unique perspective and life experience may be exactly what the world needs.

(and you may be doing the world and you a disservice by not sharing it)

But I understand it can be scary to share…

—

2) Some people will never get it, and that's ok.

Doesn't mean you need to cut people out of your life who don’t get it, yet it's not our mission to convince them of our idea.

Remember - "The Look" may even come from a place of confusion, instead of judgement.

The right people will cheer you on along the way!

But sharing your idea may give you the opportunity to meet "your people"…

— 

3) Your people are out there

They're on podcasts you can listen to, online communities, and events in your city.

The people who truly get it and want to know more.

But you'll never know until you put your idea out there.

--

The Key:

Even if you get the dreaded "Look," keep showing up!

Morning routines can be a great way to make time for your idea!

And if you want to connect with someone who definitely won't give you "The Look" -

Schedule a free 15 min call this week and we can chat about your idea + how you can use your morning to get it off the ground!

3 Steps To Make Time Weekly For Your Crazy Idea

The crazy ideas you have likely aren’t crazy at all.

Whether it's….

• Starting a podcast

• Opening a wedding venue

• Creating a website for your (potential) business 

I recommend this 3 step method to start taking weekly action on your idea!

—

Step 1) Start writing it down

When you think of an idea throughout the day, write it down or put it in your phone.

Whether you're sitting at your 9-5 work desk or walking the dog, jot the note down!

Start writing it down because…

• You will forget later

• It's a way to build on your ideas

PRO TIP:

This also allows you to get the idea out of your head and onto paper, making it feel…

• More real

• You feel less crazy (because you aren't crazy!)

• Wanting to make more time to think about it… 

—

Step 2) Set designated writing time

If you want to start making time to think more about it, start journaling in the morning!

To make this easier:

• Wake up 10 minutes earlier than you normally do

• "Habit stack" or place journaling after something you already do (like brushing your teeth) 

PRO TIP:

Journaling is a key place to start, but don't get stuck in this step! 

Journaling is a safe space to understand ourselves, but the uncomfortable next step is likely what moves the needle forward…

—

Step 3) Start taking action

Since you already have designated time setup to journal, you can now "stack" taking action on it right after you journal.

Journal, then write the blog post.

Journal, then email that connection.

Journal, then start researching.

This allows you to brain dump and then take more organized action!

PRO TIP:

Doing this journal + take action method works for many people because it's…

• Purposeful - gets you out of bed

• Doesn't require perfection right away - gets the brain dump out, then organize

--

You're already waking up early.

You have the time set aside.

You have the momentum.

Now get after it!

—- 

If you want support in taking action in the morning…

Schedule a free 15 min call and we can talk through your not so crazy idea!

29 Powerful Questions That Helped Me Grow Personally & Professionally

I turn 29 this week - and I thought I would have all the answers by now.

Surprise, surprise I don't - but I have learned to stop & ask myself powerful questions!

Here are 29 questions that helped me grow this year (organized by category):

 —

Personal Health & Values

1) What do I do just for fun?

2) What do I believe? Where did I learn that belief?

3) How many days a week do I need to workout to feel healthy?

4) What do I want my relationship with social media to look like?

5) What would make me happy?

 —

Relationships

6) Who are the most important people in my life and how can I make time for them?

7) Do I put my perfectionism onto other people? Is that fair?

8) What is my ideal day with my partner?

9) Do I give other people the same recognition & appreciation I expect to receive?

10) How could I meet more people?

11) How can I listen & learn more about people?

 —

Corporate Career

12) How do I want my professional connections to describe me?

13) How can I improve this process (not settle for the status quo)?

14) What actions do I need to take to make it easy for someone to give me a raise?

15) What is my ideal work situation & how can I make that happen?

16) How can I be a leader as an individual contributor?

 —

Entrepreneurship

17) Who do I need to connect with to grow my business?
18) What are my quantifiable goals and why that number?

19) How can I build my business around my life? (and not my life around my business)

20) Who do I want to help and what is my mission?

21) How can I dream a little bigger?

22) What progress have I made already that can motivate me to keep going?

23) Am I spending more time planning or taking action?

24) What data points did I gather (instead of declaring something a failure)?

— 

Finances

25) What is my net worth and how can I grow it?

26) How much money will make me happy?

27) What am I saving for?

28) What am I proud to spend money on?

29) What could multiple streams of income look like?

—

The Key -

Using morning journal session to reflect on these questions - absolute game changer for my growth!

3 Ways To Still Take Action On Your Goals When Your Family, Friends, Partner Don't Get It

If you want to do more than work, scroll social, watch tv, and drink, you're not alone.

When I was 23 and started my first job, I wanted to…

• Start a podcast

• Maybe start a business

• Have a morning routine

— and I got very mixed responses from the people in my life!

Some people encouraged & enabled me

(shout out to my 1st roommate for letting me turn off our loud air conditioning for a hour so I could record a podcast in the closet)

Some people didn't understand my mindset at all

(I encouraged an ex-partner to get into more things, and the response I got was "I don't do projects like you do." Ok got it.)

So do the people in our life need to be on board with us doing more?

Yes and no.

If you want to be more, start doing more.

Set the example for the life you want to live.

Some people will:

• Encourage you

• Make it easier for you to do it

• Want to do it with you

Invite them, hold onto them, have gratitude for them!

Others will:

• Not understand or encourage

• Not make it easier to do it

• Not want to join you in it

3 ways to still take action when people don't get it:

1) Don't force anyone to do or think anything; set the example

Ex: you want to go on a run in the morning with your partner

Invite them along, but forcing them may not be the move.

You can still go if they don't want to & set the example for the life you want to live 

2) Still communicate what you want to do

Ex: you have a friend or parent who doesn't understand that you want to start a business

Tell those you trust what you're working on, little by little (yes, it can be scary!)

That's the only way you'll give them the opportunity to support, enable you, or connect you to someone who has a similar mindset to you

3) Sync your schedule to their tendencies so you can keep living the life you want

Example: my Maisy pup

She has so much energy in the morning, but I want to work on my business. So I cater to her first and get her energy out, and then work on my business.

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Don’t let other people stop you from doing what you want to do.

Set the example, communicate, sync your schedule.

The more you take action, the more likely you're to find your people.

6 Harsh Truths for Achieving Work/Life Balance and Career Growth

It's been 6 years since I entered the battle.

The battle I'm talking about (that you're probably in too):

Navigating career growth WHILE striving to maintain a strong sense of work/life balance.

In the past 6 years, there are 6 harsh truths I had to accept to propel my professional growth without sacrificing my personal life

1) People notice consistency. Be consistent at the right things.

DO

• What you say you're going to do

• Stick to the boundaries you've set so people don't expect your attention during non-working hours

DON'T

• Be the person who doesn't communicate

• Continually rush in late

Start to Ask Yourself: What do I do consistently?

People notice, and relationships are going to be the wind in your sails for your career. 

2) Relationships are EVERYTHING.

• Chat with people before or after the meeting

• Have coffee or lunch with someone you want to connect more with

• Make an effort to go to the office if you're hybrid

Building relationships and trust can push your career forward almost more than the day to day tasks you're doing.

However - no one is coming to save you.

3) No one is coming to save you.

Even if you've built strong relationships, you still have to directly ask for:

• The raise

• Someone to advocate for you

• Extra support or training

Don't assume someone is going to make it happen for you.

Taking initiative and going above & beyond is essential to growth.

4) Just doing your job is not going to be enough (if you want to grow).

In order to excel, you have to find time for:

• Digging into root causes, instead of slapping band aids on a problem

• Leading projects that aren't in the original job description

The time may not seem there, but what are the little things you can do that make a BIG difference?

And despite what you've been told, it's possible to do this without burning out.

5) Your ideal job situation exists.

We've been told that working 60 hour weeks, going to the office every day, and feeling burnt out is normal.

If you don't want to do this to be YOUR normal, your ideal work situation DOES exist!

Starts with getting really specific about what that looks like:

• when do you work

• where do you work

• how much flexibility do you have

Then integrate parts of it into your current situation.

If this doesn't seem possible, don't stop dreaming about it.

You're in control of this more than you think.

6) Wakeup for you, not for work.

Whether you're in your ideal job situation or not, consider WHO you're waking up for.

• Who is choosing what time you wake up?

• Who is choosing what you do when you wake up?

Even if you have to be at work early, you can:

• Set your alarm for the time YOU want to get up so you can…

• Do something for YOU before the work day starts.

This is the difference between work controlling your life vs. you controlling your life.

This mindset shift helps you:

• prioritize you

• takes pressure off of work

• makes you a more effective employee because you've fueled you

--

To recap,

1. People notice consistency. Be consistent at the right things.

2. Relationships are EVERYTHING

3. No one is coming to save you.

4. Just doing your job is not going to be enough (if you want to grow).

5. Your ideal job situation exists.

6. Wakeup for you, not for work.

If I had a billboard to sum up the first 6 years of my career, it would say:  

You're more than your work.

--

What would your billboard say?

3 Decisions Successful Leaders Make About Their Morning Routine

Sometimes we forget there is a human behind successful leaders.

Behind the fancy accolades and job titles is someone…

• waking up

• turning off the alarm

• making the decision of what the first moments of the day are going to look like

I recently came across this Balancing The Grind article about morning routines of successful leaders.

(people like Sara Blakely, Whitney Wolfe Herd, Gary Vaynerchuk)

Here are the 3 decisions they make about their morning routine:

 —

1) Being aware

When asked what their morning routine entails, no one is saying "not sure."

They're aware of what they do in the morning and are pretty specific about it.

Makes you think this awareness translates into their success in the business world.

—

2) Being intentional

They have a reason for why they do the things they do.

Whether it's working out or "putting around," there is a reason they do it, and it’s usually because there isn't another time in the day they're going to get to do it.

—

3) Taking control

These leaders are starting their morning on their terms. 

They aren't saying "I have to do XYZ."

Instead, they say "I like to do XYZ."

It's the mindset of taking control of not only your morning, but your life.

—

1 MORE THING

When looking at people we admire, before we adopt the tactics they use, I like to consider if I value the same things as them.

More specifically how our time is spent.

With family, friends, working, exercising, etc.

What we do comes from what we value, and if we don't value the same things, we don't need to do the same things.

3 Essential Routine Shifts To Make When Getting A Dog (or Experiencing Any Life Change)

My co-workers have been lovingly laughing at me.

 I got my puppy Maisy almost 6 weeks ago and she has turned my life upside down.

As someone who likes routine, it's been disrupted by:

• waking up 2x a night to let her out

• morning starts with her first, then me

• interrupting what I'm doing to get whatever it is out of her mouth or let her outside

My co-workers with kids and dogs lovingly smile as I tell them this when I walk into the office, as I am starting to empathize with what they go through.

To look at the bright side, I'm learning some new, important routine tactics.

3 essential routine shifts to make when getting a dog (or experiencing any life change):

—

1) Be thankful for the good habits you've already established

The good habits I already have in place ground me and make me feel like I'm in at least a little bit of control while this big change is going on (even if I don't get to do all of them).

The good habits I have already have remind me of who I am before being becoming a dog mom.

AKA start good habits now!

—

2) Do not force it, sync to what is craved

But not all the habits are going to be EXACTLY the same as before, and don't force them to be.

In the morning, I tried taking care of myself and then her.

NOPE

Maisy has her highest energy in the morning.

My morning was so much easier when I tended to her and then went on with my morning.

Just like we need to sync our routine to how our brain/body operate, who knew we also needed to sync to our dogs.

—

3) Add time buffers

Let me repeat that, ADD TIME BUFFERS

Everything is going to take longer, especially starting out:

• mornings

• getting out the door

• basically any task as it can be interrupted with a puppy needing to go out or chewing on something they aren't supposed to

Give yourself extra time to do everything so you aren't showing up frantically late all the time.

Because showing up as the calm & present person may also require giving yourself a little extra time & grace.

Also - thank goodness she's cute!

—

If you happen to be going through a life change too, let’s chat about it!

I open up a few 15-min spots on my schedule each week to chat with people about their routines!

Feel free to grab completely free :)

12 Step Checklist To A Calm & Productive Schedule

I made a 12 step checklist to a calm & productive schedule that I keep coming back to.

For the past 4+ years, I’ve studied morning routines & time management diligently and the amount of information can be overwhelming.

So the Time Management Checklist was born:

1. Identify the person you want to be

   Who do you want to be? How do you want to show up. Present, calm, someone with boundaries, responsive, etc.

2. Do the Life Pie exercise

   Split your life into 3-5 pieces (ex: health, family, work). Get really clear on what these are. This not only determines where your time is spent, but where your happiness is coming from.

3. Time block

   Take your pie pieces and time block where they’re happening in your week. Example: family time happens after work, workout time is in the morning. If it doesn’t have a time block, it’s probably not happening.

4. Aligned with what you crave

   Is your schedule aligned with how your body/brain operates? If you brain works best in the morning, maybe that is the time to work on that dream business. If your body has the most energy in the morning, maybe that’s the time to workout. This limits the amount you’re FORCING yourself to do something.

5. Beginner mode

   Is your schedule set to beginner mode? Do you have habits or things on the schedule that feel manageable and sustainable, and won’t lead to burnout? For example: if you normally wake up at 7am, but tell yourself you’re going to start waking up at 5am to workout, you’re going BEAST MODE instead of BEGINNER mode. First try waking up 15 minutes earlier and then work your way up so that 5am becomes a lifestyle change, instead of a short term goal.

6. Wind down time & activities

   It takes longer than we think to get our brains to shut down for bed. Instead of having a bedtime, have a wind down time 1-2 hours before bed to get your brain to slow down. That could include not working, leisurely reading, or journaling. Anything that prepares you to be ready to sleep when bedtime comes around.

7. Sleep buffer

   The goal isn’t to rush in the morning, so why rush out of bed? Here’s your permission to give yourself a sleep buffer or 15 minutes to leisurely wake up. This is also a good benchmark if you’re someone who continually hits snooze.

8. Rest days

   This is scheduling unscheduled time. This is time to reset, relax, or maybe get caught up on something that didn’t get finished this week. Creating more flexibility and rejuvenation in your schedule.

9. Special spots

   This is designating a special spot for each thing you do. Where do you work? Where do you sleep? Say your Special Spot for work is your desk. That means your desk is where you go to focus on work, and maybe not scroll social. Likewise, that means work doesn’t occur in bed. The purpose of this is designating a place you can be fully present for what you’re doing, and your brain can easily switch into the mindset it needs to be in.

10. Phone settings aligned

    Are your phone settings aligned with the person you want to be? Are they aligned with your Special Spots? For example, if you want to be present, maybe you limit the notifications popping up on your home screen. Or maybe work emails only get checked at your desk, and not when you’re at the gym.

11. Routine options

    Give yourself options for routine so you’re more likely to do it. For example: you could have a go-to-the-office morning routine that is a little shorter, and a work-from-home morning routine that is a little longer. It doesn’t need to look exactly the same every day and you can give yourself options.

12. Anchor activity

    Have an Anchor Activity for yourself, or something you do for 2-5 minutes each morning no matter. This could be journaling or taking 5 deep breaths. The purpose is to show up and check-in with yourself. It doesn’t always have to be all or nothing when it comes to your morning routine.

Reminder - you don’t need to integrate all of these at once.

Pick 1 that resonates the most right now and start integrating into your schedule.

I have the full 1-pager checklist if you want to download & save for later!

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Need guidance on which 1 to get started with?

I open a few 15-min spots on my schedule each week to chat with people about their morning routine & schedule (for free)! Feel free to grab one before they’re gone :)

#1 Way I Started Customizing My Life

The first time I realized I could customize my life was when I chose to be sober curious.

I knew I didn’t want to be sober, but I didn’t want to drink all the time or have those hang-xiety mornings.

So sober curious it was - drinking on occasion.

This showed me:

• I didn’t have to pick either extreme

• I didn’t have to do what everyone else was doing

• How incredibly empowering it was to live on your own terms

2+ years into being sober curious, it has given me the confidence to:

1. Start customizing other parts of my life

2. Unapologetically get super specific about how I want to spend my time

To name a few examples:

• The house with minimal yard - because I don’t want to spend a lot of time on yard work right now

• A business that is primarily marketed through writing, instead of video - because I know I would keep writing even if no one read it (can’t say the same with video)

• A schedule with minimal travel - because I love my routine & would rather spend money on my home

• A job that allows me to choose when I go to the office - because it provides the flexibility I need to become the well-rounded person I want to be

Things don’t have to be black or white, and there are more options than you way think!

An easy way to start customizing your life?

Each morning, take 5 mins to write down the super specific things you want and how you want your time spent.

Want a more organized way to go about it?

Identify the 3-5 sections of your life (health, family, job, etc.) and write specifically how you want each section to look.

But be careful - those things may just start happening, so start mentally preparing to make space for them :)

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Need someone to tell you that the things you want aren’t crazy?

I absolutely love chatting about customizing your life & time, and I have a few 15 mins spots on my schedule this week to do so if you want! Feel free to grab completely free :)