3 Ways To Still Take Action On Your Goals When Your Family, Friends, Partner Don't Get It

If you want to do more than work, scroll social, watch tv, and drink, you're not alone.

When I was 23 and started my first job, I wanted to…

  • Start a podcast

  • Maybe start a business

  • Have a morning routine

— and I got very mixed responses from the people in my life!

Some people encouraged & enabled me

(shout out to my 1st roommate for letting me turn off our loud air conditioning for a hour so I could record a podcast in the closet)

Some people didn't understand my mindset at all

(I encouraged an ex-partner to get into more things, and the response I got was "I don't do projects like you do." Ok got it.)

So do the people in our life need to be on board with us doing more?

Yes and no.

If you want to be more, start doing more.

Set the example for the life you want to live.

Some people will:

  • Encourage you

  • Make it easier for you to do it

  • Want to do it with you

Invite them, hold onto them, have gratitude for them!

Others will:

  • Not understand or encourage

  • Not make it easier to do it

  • Not want to join you in it

3 ways to still take action when people don't get it:

1) Don't force anyone to do or think anything; set the example

Ex: you want to go on a run in the morning with your partner

Invite them along, but forcing them may not be the move.

You can still go if they don't want to & set the example for the life you want to live 

2) Still communicate what you want to do

Ex: you have a friend or parent who doesn't understand that you want to start a business

Tell those you trust what you're working on, little by little (yes, it can be scary!)

That's the only way you'll give them the opportunity to support, enable you, or connect you to someone who has a similar mindset to you

3) Sync your schedule to their tendencies so you can keep living the life you want

Example: my Maisy pup

She has so much energy in the morning, but I want to work on my business. So I cater to her first and get her energy out, and then work on my business.

Don’t let other people stop you from doing what you want to do.

Set the example, communicate, sync your schedule.

The more you take action, the more likely you're to find your people.

 

6 Harsh Truths for Achieving Work/Life Balance and Career Growth

It's been 6 years since I entered the battle.

The battle I'm talking about (that you're probably in too):

Navigating career growth WHILE striving to maintain a strong sense of work/life balance.

In the past 6 years, there are 6 harsh truths I had to accept to propel my professional growth without sacrificing my personal life

1) People notice consistency. Be consistent at the right things.

DO

  • What you say you're going to do

  • Stick to the boundaries you've set so people don't expect your attention during non-working hours

DON'T

  • Be the person who doesn't communicate

  • Continually rush in late

Start to Ask Yourself: What do I do consistently?

People notice, and relationships are going to be the wind in your sails for your career. 

2) Relationships are EVERYTHING.

  • Chat with people before or after the meeting

  • Have coffee or lunch with someone you want to connect more with

  • Make an effort to go to the office if you're hybrid

Building relationships and trust can push your career forward almost more than the day to day tasks you're doing.

However - no one is coming to save you.

3) No one is coming to save you.

Even if you've built strong relationships, you still have to directly ask for:

  • The raise

  • Someone to advocate for you

  • Extra support or training

Don't assume someone is going to make it happen for you.

Taking initiative and going above & beyond is essential to growth.

4) Just doing your job is not going to be enough (if you want to grow).

In order to excel, you have to find time for:

  • Digging into root causes, instead of slapping band aids on a problem

  • Leading projects that aren't in the original job description

The time may not seem there, but what are the little things you can do that make a BIG difference?

And despite what you've been told, it's possible to do this without burning out.

5) Your ideal job situation exists.

We've been told that working 60 hour weeks, going to the office every day, and feeling burnt out is normal.

If you don't want to do this to be YOUR normal, your ideal work situation DOES exist!

Starts with getting really specific about what that looks like:

  • when do you work

  • where do you work

  • how much flexibility do you have

Then integrate parts of it into your current situation.

If this doesn't seem possible, don't stop dreaming about it.

You're in control of this more than you think.

6) Wakeup for you, not for work.

Whether you're in your ideal job situation or not, consider WHO you're waking up for.

  • Who is choosing what time you wake up?

  • Who is choosing what you do when you wake up?

Even if you have to be at work early, you can:

  • Set your alarm for the time YOU want to get up so you can…

  • Do something for YOU before the work day starts.

This is the difference between work controlling your life vs. you controlling your life.

This mindset shift helps you:

  • prioritize you

  • takes pressure off of work

  • makes you a more effective employee because you've fueled you

--

To recap,

  1. People notice consistency. Be consistent at the right things.

  2. Relationships are EVERYTHING

  3. No one is coming to save you.

  4. Just doing your job is not going to be enough (if you want to grow).

  5. Your ideal job situation exists.

  6. Wakeup for you, not for work.

If I had a billboard to sum up the first 6 years of my career, it would say:  

You're more than your work.

--

What would your billboard say?

 

3 Decisions Successful Leaders Make About Their Morning Routine

Sometimes we forget there is a human behind successful leaders.

Behind the fancy accolades and job titles is someone…

  • waking up

  • turning off the alarm

  • making the decision of what the first moments of the day are going to look like

I recently came across this Balancing The Grind article about morning routines of successful leaders.

(people like Sara Blakely, Whitney Wolfe Herd, Gary Vaynerchuk)

Here are the 3 decisions they make about their morning routine:

 —

1) Being aware

When asked what their morning routine entails, no one is saying "not sure."

They're aware of what they do in the morning and are pretty specific about it.

Makes you think this awareness translates into their success in the business world.

2) Being intentional

They have a reason for why they do the things they do.

Whether it's working out or "putting around," there is a reason they do it, and it’s usually because there isn't another time in the day they're going to get to do it.

3) Taking control

These leaders are starting their morning on their terms. 

They aren't saying "I have to do XYZ."

Instead, they say "I like to do XYZ."

It's the mindset of taking control of not only your morning, but your life.

1 MORE THING

When looking at people we admire, before we adopt the tactics they use, I like to consider if I value the same things as them.

More specifically how our time is spent.

With family, friends, working, exercising, etc.

What we do comes from what we value, and if we don't value the same things, we don't need to do the same things.

 

3 Essential Routine Shifts To Make When Getting A Dog (or Experiencing Any Life Change)

My co-workers have been lovingly laughing at me.

 I got my puppy Maisy almost 6 weeks ago and she has turned my life upside down.

As someone who likes routine, it's been disrupted by:

  • waking up 2x a night to let her out

  • morning starts with her first, then me

  • interrupting what I'm doing to get whatever it is out of her mouth or let her outside

My co-workers with kids and dogs lovingly smile as I tell them this when I walk into the office, as I am starting to empathize with what they go through.

To look at the bright side, I'm learning some new, important routine tactics.

3 essential routine shifts to make when getting a dog (or experiencing any life change):

1) Be thankful for the good habits you've already established

The good habits I already have in place ground me and make me feel like I'm in at least a little bit of control while this big change is going on (even if I don't get to do all of them).

The good habits I have already have remind me of who I am before being becoming a dog mom.

AKA start good habits now!

2) Do not force it, sync to what is craved

But not all the habits are going to be EXACTLY the same as before, and don't force them to be.

In the morning, I tried taking care of myself and then her.

NOPE

Maisy has her highest energy in the morning.

My morning was so much easier when I tended to her and then went on with my morning.

Just like we need to sync our routine to how our brain/body operate, who knew we also needed to sync to our dogs.

3) Add time buffers

Let me repeat that, ADD TIME BUFFERS

Everything is going to take longer, especially starting out:

  • mornings

  • getting out the door

  • basically any task as it can be interrupted with a puppy needing to go out or chewing on something they aren't supposed to

Give yourself extra time to do everything so you aren't showing up frantically late all the time.

Because showing up as the calm & present person may also require giving yourself a little extra time & grace.

Also - thank goodness she's cute!

If you happen to be going through a life change too, let’s chat about it!

I open up a few 15-min spots on my schedule each week to chat with people about their routines!

Feel free to grab completely free :)

 

12 Step Checklist To A Calm & Productive Schedule

I made a 12 step checklist to a calm & productive schedule that I keep coming back to.

For the past 4+ years, I’ve studied morning routines & time management diligently and the amount of information can be overwhelming.

So the Time Management Checklist was born:

  1. Identify the person you want to be

    Who do you want to be? How do you want to show up. Present, calm, someone with boundaries, responsive, etc.

  2. Do the Life Pie exercise

    Split your life into 3-5 pieces (ex: health, family, work). Get really clear on what these are. This not only determines where your time is spent, but where your happiness is coming from.

  3. Time block

    Take your pie pieces and time block where they’re happening in your week. Example: family time happens after work, workout time is in the morning. If it doesn’t have a time block, it’s probably not happening.

  4. Aligned with what you crave

    Is your schedule aligned with how your body/brain operates? If you brain works best in the morning, maybe that is the time to work on that dream business. If your body has the most energy in the morning, maybe that’s the time to workout. This limits the amount you’re FORCING yourself to do something.

  5. Beginner mode

    Is your schedule set to beginner mode? Do you have habits or things on the schedule that feel manageable and sustainable, and won’t lead to burnout? For example: if you normally wake up at 7am, but tell yourself you’re going to start waking up at 5am to workout, you’re going BEAST MODE instead of BEGINNER mode. First try waking up 15 minutes earlier and then work your way up so that 5am becomes a lifestyle change, instead of a short term goal.

  6. Wind down time & activities

    It takes longer than we think to get our brains to shut down for bed. Instead of having a bedtime, have a wind down time 1-2 hours before bed to get your brain to slow down. That could include not working, leisurely reading, or journaling. Anything that prepares you to be ready to sleep when bedtime comes around.

  7. Sleep buffer

    The goal isn’t to rush in the morning, so why rush out of bed? Here’s your permission to give yourself a sleep buffer or 15 minutes to leisurely wake up. This is also a good benchmark if you’re someone who continually hits snooze.

  8. Rest days

    This is scheduling unscheduled time. This is time to reset, relax, or maybe get caught up on something that didn’t get finished this week. Creating more flexibility and rejuvenation in your schedule.

  9. Special spots

    This is designating a special spot for each thing you do. Where do you work? Where do you sleep? Say your Special Spot for work is your desk. That means your desk is where you go to focus on work, and maybe not scroll social. Likewise, that means work doesn’t occur in bed. The purpose of this is designating a place you can be fully present for what you’re doing, and your brain can easily switch into the mindset it needs to be in.

  10. Phone settings aligned

    Are your phone settings aligned with the person you want to be? Are they aligned with your Special Spots? For example, if you want to be present, maybe you limit the notifications popping up on your home screen. Or maybe work emails only get checked at your desk, and not when you’re at the gym.

  11. Routine options

    Give yourself options for routine so you’re more likely to do it. For example: you could have a go-to-the-office morning routine that is a little shorter, and a work-from-home morning routine that is a little longer. It doesn’t need to look exactly the same every day and you can give yourself options.

  12. Anchor activity

    Have an Anchor Activity for yourself, or something you do for 2-5 minutes each morning no matter. This could be journaling or taking 5 deep breaths. The purpose is to show up and check-in with yourself. It doesn’t always have to be all or nothing when it comes to your morning routine.

Reminder - you don’t need to integrate all of these at once.

Pick 1 that resonates the most right now and start integrating into your schedule.

I have the full 1-pager checklist if you want to download & save for later!

Need guidance on which 1 to get started with?

I open a few 15-min spots on my schedule each week to chat with people about their morning routine & schedule (for free)! Feel free to grab one before they’re gone :)

 

#1 Way I Started Customizing My Life

The first time I realized I could customize my life was when I chose to be sober curious.

I knew I didn’t want to be sober, but I didn’t want to drink all the time or have those hang-xiety mornings.

So sober curious it was - drinking on occasion.

This showed me:

  • I didn’t have to pick either extreme

  • I didn’t have to do what everyone else was doing

  • How incredibly empowering it was to live on your own terms

2+ years into being sober curious, it has given me the confidence to:

  1. Start customizing other parts of my life

  2. Unapologetically get super specific about how I want to spend my time

To name a few examples:

  • The house with minimal yard - because I don’t want to spend a lot of time on yard work right now

  • A business that is primarily marketed through writing, instead of video - because I know I would keep writing even if no one read it (can’t say the same with video)

  • A schedule with minimal travel - because I love my routine & would rather spend money on my home

  • A job that allows me to choose when I go to the office - because it provides the flexibility I need to become the well-rounded person I want to be

Things don’t have to be black or white, and there are more options than you way think!

An easy way to start customizing your life?

Each morning, take 5 mins to write down the super specific things you want and how you want your time spent.

Want a more organized way to go about it?

Identify the 3-5 sections of your life (health, family, job, etc.) and write specifically how you want each section to look.

But be careful - those things may just start happening, so start mentally preparing to make space for them :)

Need someone to tell you that the things you want aren’t crazy?

I absolutely love chatting about customizing your life & time, and I have a few 15 mins spots on my schedule this week to do so if you want! Feel free to grab completely free :)

 

You're More Than Your Career

When I was 22, I wish someone had told me you’re allowed to be more than your career.

It was pounded into my head to do everything to get THE job.

Thankfully, I got it, but then what?

I remember dragging myself out of bed every morning to commute to my first job thinking…

“I think there is more than this”

I wanted to be:

  • Healthy

  • Seek out new interests

  • Live an exciting, well-rounded life

I didn’t really have anyone around me showing me this.

So I had to take action for myself!

  • I started with healthy habits like journaling and morning routines.

  • I explored interests like strength workouts, yoga teacher training, podcasting, blogging, etc.

I started to feel in control of my life!

The biggest mindset shift that got me there?

Things can co-exist if you want them to!

  • Career & side project

  • Business & relationship

  • Health & career

When I started believing this, I found:

  • Doing my side projects made my career better

  • Not escaping my job allowed me to grow my business authentically

  • I could wake up for me, instead of for work

  • Pursuing my interests led to finding people who had the same interests

At 22, I wish someone had told me…

  • You’re more than you think

  • Things can co-exist if you want them too

  • You’re the designer of your life

I wish I had someone to show me what was possible, so hope to be that for whomever needs it!

If you want someone to talk through pursuing your interests, I have a few spots on my schedule this week available! Feel free to grab completely free :)

Who or What Are You Waking Up For?

I’ve always coached people on “waking up for yourself.”

But I’m going to put an asterisk* on that now.

My 11 week old pup Maisy has made her entrance into my life & I am absolutely not waking up for myself anymore!

I am waking up to take care of her (and admittedly so she doesn’t have an accident in my house)!

There’s a selflessness that’s come over me since I’ve gotten her.

It challenges what I always thought about waking up for myself and gives me MORE purpose to get out of bed!

I take care of her and then we snuggle up & do my morning routine!

So I challenge you to…

LIKE WHO OR WHAT YOU'RE WAKING UP FOR

Many of us wake up for work.

If you’re happy with that reason, great!

If not, you can change it!

Wake up for:
-Yourself
-Your partner
-Your pet
-Your kids
-Your dream side project

Whatever or whomever gives you the drive to get out of bed!

And if it is someone else, still pouring into yourself in some small way in the morning is a beneficial way to start the day.

Make YOU the priority early on in the day so you don’t get lost in the list of everything else!

 

4 Ways To Keep Going After Your Goals When People Around You Don’t Get It

1 month into the new year and maybe you’re noticing something…

Did you set some big goals this month or year that are different than the people around you?

Maybe:

  • Not drinking/dry January

  • Waking up early to journal

  • Workout 4+ days per week

  • Smarter spending

  • Starting your dream business

You’re acting on these things, but you find it hard to keep going because the people around you don’t have the same goals.

Maybe they don’t get it, and it’s not our job for them to get it.

But it’s also not a reason to stop going after your goals!

Here are 4 ways to keep showing up for your goals when people around you don’t get it:

1) Set the example

You may not realize it, but the people around you may need you as the positive influence in their life.

Be the trailblazer and set the example for going after your goals!

Without even saying anything, you may be surprised who joins you (maybe even your significant other?)!

2) Train people on your new boundaries

While you set the example, you’re also training people on your new boundaries.

What I mean is keep showing up how you want to and slowly that will become the new thing they expect from you.

  • Not drinking

  • Not responding to texts after 9pm

  • Prioritizing getting to the gym

The more you do it, the more it becomes a part of you (the best version of you)!

Others will start to expect it from you and (the right people) will respect those boundaries.

3) Listen to podcasts

I remember when I first got out of college and had dreams of doing more than just my day job.

I didn’t feel like I had people around me who had the same mindset.

But there were a lot of people on podcasts who did!

Every day on my 30 min commute to work, I listened to people who had the mindset I had/wanted and filled my ears with that.

It was motivating, inspiring, and made me feel like my dreams weren’t crazy!

A few I listen to on the reg right now:

4) Show up in spaces who have those people

I kinda despise the advice of “get new friends who think the same as you and leave the rest behind.”

It’s not a flip of a switch.

I say start showing up in spaces with people who have the mindset you want to be around!

Find communities, events, and places who have those people.

Search your specific interest on sites like:

You may be surprised what you find!

ALSO - you aren’t going to find your BFFs the 1st time you show up to an event!

Building friendships takes showing up multiple times, so give it more than 1 chance.

P.S. - It took me a solid year of living in Columbus to find communities I clicked with and 2 years to find my BFFs!

Be patient and keep showing up; you’ll find YOUR PEOPLE!

— —

I swear every event I go to, I meet someone who says:

“No one in my life really gets it and I don’t have anyone to talk to about my goals!”

If you’re feeling this way, I’m ready to hear your big goals!

Let’s chat about morning routine or time management coaching and make your big goals happen this year!

6 Lessons Helping Me Find Calm in Chaos This Year

In 2023, I feel like I found the calm in the chaos.

I slowly became a go-getter doing a lot of things intentionally and calmly.

I’m trying to come up with the term for becoming this person.

I was inspired to come up with a term when I started reading the newsletter The Quiet Rich.

The title captures perfectly people wanting to become humbly rich and live life intentionally.

What do you call a person who finds calm in the chaos?

I’ll start asking chat gpt, but let me know what you come up with!

While you think about it…

Here are 6 lessons that helped me find calm in chaos (and build the lifestyle I always wanted):

1) Special spots are the key to calm (and focus!)

Designating where I do certain tasks has made a world of a difference when it comes to calm and focus!

Example:

  • Work happens at my desk

  • (work doesn’t happen in bed)

  • (social media scrolling doesn’t happen at my desk)

Creating special spots helps me:

  • Not switch tasks so I’m not wasting time

  • Stay focused so I can do better work

  • Be less stressed because I have clarity of where my attention needs to be in the moment

Thinking about this a lot as I move into my new condo this week! Follow along on Insta to see me build my new command center / she shed!

2) What you do MOST of the time is who you’re becoming

  • Workout vs. not

  • Morning routine vs. not

  • Drinking alcohol vs. not

I started asking myself:

What is my “default habit” (or what do I do MOST of the time)?

Whatever it is, is who I’m becoming.

  • Active vs. not

  • Grounded vs. not

  • Mindful drinker vs. not

This has helped:

  • Hold me accountable to doing good habits more than 50% of the days

  • Give myself grace when I had 1 bad habit day

  • Get me closer to the person I want to be

3) What is measured is managed

I measure the things I need to make sure don’t get lost in the chaos.

And I don’t measure the things that’s sole purpose is just to be fun!

What I measure: days I workout

  • I track the days I workout & color in each day I do to hold me accountable

  • I use different colors to give myself options for movement, making it more likely to do

  • You can download the tracker I’ve used for the past 3 years that has led me to working out >90% of days HERE!

What I don’t measure: the number of books I read a year

  • This is a leisure activity for me so I don’t measure it

  • As a perfectionist, I’ve found when I measure anything and everything, I feel like a failure because I’m always not hitting some number

4) Procrastination is telling you something

The things I procrastinated on this year were mostly do too:

  • Me making it harder in my head than it actually is

  • Me trying to convince yourself I like doing it

Once I noticed this, I started posting on social media for my biz a lot less.

It wasn’t really filling my cup or converting to income, so I started focusing my biz attention elsewhere.

Noticing what is not filling my cup has helped me conserve my energy for the things that do fill my cup (like this writing this newsletter)!

5) Build flexibility into your schedule

This year I found the balance between setting a schedule AND having flexibility to move the schedule around.

Building flexibility into life has been a way to make all the things happen when things don’t go as planned (which is a lot).

Some flexibility I’ve built into my life (and feel so thankful to have!):

  • Flexible job of working at the office vs. home when I want

  • Multiple options for working out so I get some type of movement in every day

  • Side jobs that don’t have to be done at a certain time

I want to continue to build a flexible life where I can!

6) Waking up with purpose is the most underrated thing ever

Does this sound familiar?

  • You know those mornings where you’re laying in bed deciding if you’re going to get up?

  • Maybe you scroll email or social to procrastinate doing it.

  • Then you feel drained and unmotivated before your feet even hit the floor.

Those have been days of the past ever since I started waking up with purpose!

Getting up to do something to nourish my body or mind:

  • Journal

  • Cup of coffee

  • Walk

On the good and bad days, having an activity, a spot, a mindset to go to.

It’s a landing pad for the hard days and a springboard for the good days.

To put it simply, it’s a morning routine!

But it’s more than a morning routine:

It’s you believing you’re worth getting out of bed for.

Because you’re and 2024 is your year!

To recap:

  1. Special spots are key to calm & focus

  2. What you do most of the time is who you’re becoming

  3. What is measured is managed

  4. Procrastination is telling you something

  5. Build flexibility into your schedule

  6. Waking up with purpose is the most underrated thing ever

Wishing you the best in this new year and can’t wait to see what you do!

I Was Running Away From My Day Job

I remember graduating from college, starting my corporate job, getting about 3 months in and thinking…

there has to be more than this.

There has to be more than commuting to work, sitting at a desk, and then commuting home.

Don’t get me wrong, I liked my job and I was thankful to have it.

I also knew that as I started my adult life, work couldn’t be the only thing in my life.

That is when I started creating wellness content, exploring yoga, and a bunch of other hobbies for the first time.

It was the 1st time I could see that I could be more than my day job.

It was the 1st time I could see myself becoming a complex, multi-faceted human-being.

It was also the 1st time I started running away from my day job.

Around that time, I started following a lot of creators and entrepreneurs on social media and listening to their podcasts.

For the past 3-4 years I’ve been consuming their content constantly because I felt like they had this similar mindset that there was more to life than the corporate job.

After years of being immersed in this, I noticed that my definition of success had shifted to being to get out of my day job as fast as I can and do something else to make money.

I started running away from my day job. Like a full out sprint.

I wanted to get out of there as fast as the amount of time I perceived it taking for other people.

Of course, I perceived them doing it quickly and easily, so I often have to remind myself that I’m probably only seeing their highlight reel and not necessarily the blood, sweat, and tears that went into building their side business.

I knew I could get to the point of starting a side business, but I realized I haven’t been utilizing a key superpower I have to get there.

That superpower is my day job.

Adam Grant explains in his book Originals: How Non-Conformists Move the World that some of the most successful entrepreneurs have stayed in their day job during the first couple of years of their side business.

Staying in their day jobs made them more likely to take risks and be creative in their side businesses because they had their day jobs as a financial and emotional safety net.

I had this epiphany that if I want to do hobbies or start side businesses, I don’t need to be running away from my day job. I need to be using it as a superpower.

It is an asset that can help me move forward instead of holding me back.

I pride myself on being a multi-faceted person and I was reminded that it means accepting all sides of yourself, including the day job part of me.

When I shifted the way I looked at myself and my life, things started to change.

I started making bigger strides at work.

I was taking more action on my hobbies and potential side businesses.

I became more present in the things I was doing and people I was with.

Instead of running away, I needed to meet myself where I’m at in order to move forward.

 

What I Learned From Deleting Social Media for 2 Weeks

I did an experiment where I deleted all social media apps off my phone for 2 weeks while I was on vacation with my family.

Here is what I learned.

I loved it.

It made me more present when we were out and about. My brain felt like it was fully there.

I only accessed social media from my computer when I happened to have some downtime at night and it felt like a more intentional way to use social media.

I hated it.

I felt disconnected from the rest of the world as it wasn’t at my fingertips. It is crazy how I’ve grown to feel the need to be connected to the world at all times.

I was also reminded that social media is a place where you can connect with like-minded people quickly and cure some of that intellectual loneliness where you think, am I the only person that thinks and feels this way?

This experiment reminded me to ask, what is my goal?

My brain works in an all or nothing mindset and can be very restrictive sometimes when it comes to going after goals.

So the next time I want to make a sustainable lifestyle change, I can ask, what is my goal?

I’m finding most of the time, it isn’t to limit something completely or use it excessively.

It is to do things more intentionally or in moderation. And that can help me start aligning my actions to my goals.

 

The Best Advice I’ve Received About Patience

I was given some wise advice lately, which was…

You can’t plant the seeds and eat the fruit on the same day.

This has been helpful to me as I’ve thought about driving change at work, making adult friendships, and developing my blog.

Maybe it is the millennial in me, but you can’t plant the seeds and eat the fruit on the same day. It just doesn’t happen that fast.

For a long time, I’ve only focused on the fruit. The high goal, the destination, and getting to the destination right now.

I haven’t really paid attention to the planting of the seeds. The smaller steps, the journey.

I’ve noticed that focusing only on the fruit, the destination, and getting to the destination right now has not helped me get there faster. It has just made it overwhelming.

So how do I start planting the seeds and go after my goals without getting burnt out?

Here are a few things I’m considering.

Focusing on what seeds I would be interested in planting and not necessarily the fruit.

What do I enjoy doing? Who and what sparks my interest? I think starting there could lead me on a journey I enjoy.

Being patient about when and how fast the seeds will sprout.

Continually showing up to plant the seeds to give me the chance for one to sprout.

After all, the grass grows where you water it. 

Not limiting the opportunities for what the fruit is going to look like.

It is like I have a grip so tightly on what the fruit or the outcome is supposed to be that I’m keeping it from flourishing into possibly something bigger.

I gotta approach with an experimental mindset. Plant some seeds and see what happens.

As a perfectionist, this is scary because I fear I’ll plant some seeds, nothing comes from them, and I’ll waste my time.

I’m slowly learning that if you keep planting the seeds, at some point something is going to sprout, and maybe grow into something better than I could have ever imagined.

Reminding myself over and over again that you can’t plant the seeds and eat the fruit on the same day. Have to be patient.

 

What I Learned From Changing Jobs for the First Time

I’ve talked to many of my fellow mid to late twenty somethings who have reached about that 4 year mark of working.

No matter if they love or hate their current job, a common conversation that comes up is if or when they should switch jobs.

I just changed jobs for the 1st time and here are some things I learned in the process.

Part 1: Leaving Your Job & Finding a New One

You will know when the right time is to leave.

You hear that most people only stay in their 1st job for about 2 years. As that 2 year, 3 year, 4 year mark approaches, it's hard to not consider the other options out, especially if the job market is hot.

So when is the right time to leave?

I contemplated for a long time switching jobs, and then one week it became blatantly obvious to leave based on things that started changing personally and professionally. It smacked me right in the face.

I think we feel pressure to make a job switch, or at least explore it, but you will know when the right time is. Keep observing and trust yourself.

Keep LinkedIn updated.

I got in the habit of updating my LinkedIn every so often with new projects, responsibilities, and what city I was living in.

I didn’t do this for the purpose of looking for a new job, but it became a game-changer in the process of finding one.

I got reached out to by a recruiter who saw the city I was living in and what I had been working on, and that is how I got my new job.

It isn’t always going to happen that fast, but updating your LinkedIn gives you the opportunity for it to happen.

Do your research.

The application process is very different from the first job we took right out of college. Now we have a few years under our belt and a lot more leverage.

I had no idea what to do with this leverage, especially when it came to salary expectations.

I talked to some close connections, did some research, and realized I may have more leverage than I thought. One site that was eye-opening to me was salary.com.

Don’t count yourself out and do your research.

Ask HOW the work is done.

In the process of interviewing, don’t just ask WHAT work you will be doing, but HOW you will be doing it.

What systems and processes are in place? What are the daily tasks needed to push the needle forward? How do teams interact to get the job done? How open are they to change?

Then asking yourself, is that how I want to be doing things and is this a culture I could see myself in?

You could like the idea of what you’re doing, but understanding HOW the new company does things could help you make an educated decision on if you want to take the job.

This is a big deal.

If you’re looking for a new job, you’re about to change the thing that you probably do for 40 hours a week. It will probably change your routines, maybe where you’re living, and/or the trajectory of your career.

This isn’t to scare you, but I say this because I don’t want you to settle. Don’t settle for a job change that you aren’t excited about. Make sure it checks all or most of the boxes.

Go with your gut; you usually aren’t mad that you did.

Part 2: Starting the New Job

You go from being an expert to a beginner.

I’ll admit, I kind of forgot about this when I changed jobs.

Even if you’re going into a very similar field that you were in, every company is so different and does things in different ways.

This can be a super uncomfortable process so be ready and open to it. I have had to put my student cap back on and be open to learning.

Come from a place of curiosity instead of judgment.

I knew going into a new job that I first needed to learn the business before I jumped in and said “here are all the things that need to be changed.”

It is also easy to assume that whatever you learned in your first job is the “right” and “only” way to do things.

This mindset doesn’t keep us open to a new perspective or really learning the business.

Therefore, I’ve found it important to come from a place of curiosity instead of judgment. 

We can not love the way something is done, but there is a method to the madness that people do.

Heck there may be people I encounter that have been working in the industry longer than I’ve been alive. They know the ins, outs, and upside-downs.

I’ve found asking why something is done, instead of just shutting it down completely, is key to being able to jump in effectively and respectfully to improve processes.

Ask for support.

Once I got into the new job, I knew I needed to seek help to make the growing pains less painful.

The people who know your job really well, as well as the people you feel like to can personally connect with and vent to.

Hopefully support is offered to you in your new position, but if not, seek out who the experts are on the subject or the company, and ask all the questions you can. 

People could be giving you more credit than you feel like they should and think you got it together.

I’m not the best at asking for help, so I have to remind myself often that people won’t know I need support unless I tell them.

Celebrate where you’re at.

In the middle of the growing pains, someone reminded me recently of the resiliency that you’re building.

You’re learning in a different way than you’re used to and that makes you acquire new skills. Each new skill you acquire only makes for more tools in your tool belt for the next challenge you face.

It is important to celebrate this new career milestone and that you have challenged yourself to go to the next level.

Give yourself credit for that.

 

I’m Challenging the Way I’ve Always Done Things

“That is the way I’ve always done it.”

This is a fine answer to explain why I do the things I do, but I’ve been trying to say it less so I can lead my life with more intention. 

Instead, I want to ask myself “why am I doing it this way?”

I was reminded of this when I was challenged in the way I journal.

My way of journaling for the past 4 years has been to write whatever was on my mind. A stream of consciousness. Just let it all out.

This is very aligned with Julia Cameron’s method of morning pages that she talks about in her well-renowned book The Artist’s Way.

Morning pages consist of journaling 3 pages every morning with whatever is on your mind.

Author Greg McKeown discusses journaling in his book Essentialism. His approach intrigued me.

McKeown suggests applying the principle of “less but better” to your journal.

He challenges to start an “essentialist journal” and write 1 sentence a day answering the question of “what’s the most important thing that happened today?”

It made me consider, what if I only wrote down the essential things? What if I journaled about only the most important things?

This approach could give me a lot of clarity on what my time and energy should be spent on, and could realign my focus.

Here are some others things I started considering:

Feeling All The Feelings

I will say that writing a stream of consciousness has given me permission to explore every feeling about everything in a safe space.

But the approach of only writing down the essential things could help me realize what is not worth feeling stressed, frustrated, or annoyed about if it has not been declared essential.

The Hardship of the Task

Showing up to journal whatever is on my mind is daunting sometimes. I feel like there is so much I need to write down and I can make the task harder than it needs to be.

Showing up to write down the essential things can make it feel more manageable and you might be more likely to do it consistently.

Structure vs. Play

Writing down whatever is on my mind allows my perfectionist brain to run free and not feel like things have to be a certain way. Some unexpected things get discovered.

Writing down the essential things could bring a little more structure to entries if that is what I like, but leaves less room for play. However, it could be easier to see trends or your evolution of growth over time.

Memory

Writing down what is on my mind has helped me process and capture a lot of memories.

Writing down only the essential events could help me remember the most important things from my day or life, like being together with family, instead of writing down something annoying someone did that is not going to be important a year from now.

So do I keep going about journaling the way I always have, or do I change course?

The important question to ask myself is why am I journaling? What is your purpose for showing up?

For me, I need a place to check in. This means I could maybe see myself writing out what is on my mind, but closing out the entry recognizing what is actually important from the day.

When we start asking “why” more often, our habits start aligning more to our purpose.

 

Make It Easier to Start a New Habit

I remember when I started podcasting many years ago, I made a plan to record right after work each day.

The 1st day, I got home and tried to record. Not much progress was made.

Next day after work, I tried to record. Again, not much progress was made and I was getting frustrated with myself because of it.

The following day, I showed up to record. Again, not much progress was made to the point where I didn’t know if I even wanted to do it anymore.

I knew I wanted to inspire people to put their best foot forward in their life, but I was struggling to just take 1 step forward with this podcasting thing.

I always say the key to creating a new habit is to know 1) why you’re doing it and 2) how you’re going to make it happen.

I had both of these, so what was wrong?

I noticed I was trying to do this creative task when I was my most tired.

It was like I was starting at a deficit before I even began.

I needed to find a way to make it easier on myself. I needed to find a time where I could give myself a chance to succeed.

So I experimented with recording in the morning.

Holy cow, I started making progress that I didn’t know was possible.

With the way my brain is wired, I am just more creative in the morning. No other reason needed to explain it.

The same thing happened to me with working out.

If you listen to a lot of successful people, they say a key is to workout in the morning.

I’ve noticed that my body just doesn’t like to do that, so I don’t.

I have my best workouts at the end of the day because my brain is ready to turn off from work and my body takes over.

Sometimes we blame ourselves for not starting something because of low motivation or determination, but maybe we just haven’t become aware of when our brain and body work best.

When we take the time to experiment, observe, and adjust our day according to our brain and body, the habits start forming and the goals start getting met.

 

Can I Have Boundaries and Be A Fun Person?

“You’re no fun!”

Yep, I’ve heard that one a couple of times.

Hearing that used to bother me A LOT. I really cared (and still do if I’m being honest) about being received as a “fun” person.

The times I usually hear “you’re no fun” is when it comes to my boundaries around sleep, alcohol, or alone time.

It makes me question if I can have boundaries and be a fun person?

The simple answer is YES.

It is about reminding myself why I’ve set the boundaries I’ve set.

You don’t set boundaries to restrict yourself from doing fun things. You set them to make room for the things that are most important to you. The things that are “fun” and fulfilling to YOU.

Maybe that is working out, spending time with someone you love, or making time for your passion project.

Setting boundaries is not easy. But when we get in the habit and get more comfortable with setting them, they’re a lot more likely to stick.

Here are the 3 scenarios that I find the most tricky to set boundaries.

Sleep

I have a very early bedtime because Claire with less than 8 hours of sleep is not pretty.

This doesn’t mean I’m not tough or am weak because I can’t function on less sleep. I have learned how much sleep I need to be able to function at the level I want to.

Sometimes that requires turning off Netflix early or leaving a party before midnight.

I try to remind myself that my sleep boundaries aren’t in place to restrict me from having fun. My sleep boundaries are in place to help me make room for other things to happen.

I know with little sleep I will have trouble being able to show up for my job, my workouts, and important people in my life in the way that I want to.

Other people may not agree with your sleep boundaries, but you’re, as Greg McKeown calls in his book Essentialism, “protecting the asset.”

McKeown has a whole chapter on the importance of sleep and he says…

“The best asset we have for making a contribution to the world is ourselves. If we underinvest in ourselves, and by that I mean our minds, bodies, and spirits, we damage the very tool we need to make our highest contribution.”

I’ve found protecting the asset starts with creating good sleep habits during your normal weekly routine.

I got in the habit of figuring out how many hours of sleep I need to function and I adjusted my bedtime and wake up time accordingly to make that work.

Once I started having a couple of weeks of good sleep habits (trust me didn’t happen overnight, no pun intended), when it came to that weekend night where I was out a little later, I had many nights of good sleep under my belt that allowed me to have fun and stay out a little later if I wanted to.

Now, how do I deal with my crankiness when I am tired? That is something I am still trying to work on.

Alcohol

Setting any boundaries around alcohol is so tough since it is so ingrained into our culture.

It’s the happy hours, the tailgates, the weddings, the catch up with college friends, or visiting the new winery or brewery in town.

In these social situations, sometimes people hope you drink as much as them so you can be on the same level, whatever that may mean.

Or the toughest is when you’re with people that knew how much you drank at one point in your life and they expect you to be that way now.

Sometimes it’s fun to drink and let loose a little, but other times I know the excessiveness isn’t going to serve me.

Deborah Adele writes in her book The Yamas and Niyamas about the yogic principle of brahmacharya, or nonexcess.

“Nonexcess is not about nonenjoyment. It actually is about enjoyment and pleasure in its fullest experience. The questions before us are: Are you eating the food, or is the food eating you? Are you doing the activity, or is the activity doing you? Can you enjoy pleasure without excess?”

Alcohol can take up more space in our lives than we want it to, especially if those hangover feelings hit the next day.

To keep it from taking up too much space, I have found sparkling water to be my favorite alternative. Or I’ve been out with friends who have ordered mocktails. Many companies now are coming out with non-alcoholic alternatives to their beers & wines. I’m interested in exploring these more.

Sometimes just getting in the habit of always having a glass of water in your hand can keep you occupied and from getting to a point you don’t want.

Alone Time

Being declared a “fun person” is usually determined by if you are willing to do what someone else wants you to do.

You’re that go with the flow person that says yes to everything.

But what if you don’t want to go to the party, event, or another happy hour?

Maybe you just want to stay home. Maybe you want time to work on your passion. Maybe you want to just lay on your floor and stare at the ceiling after a long week.

You’re allowed to do all of that and you don’t have to feel bad about it.

However, I know I feel guilty when I say no. Either guilt from myself or someone else.

But we can reframe this.

When we say no to something, we are usually saying yes to ourselves.

Yes to recharging, rejuvenating, and deciding what is the next right thing for us to do.

In Marlee Grace’s book How to Not Always Be Working, she quotes yoga teacher Rachelle Knowles:

“The tricky part about creating space to pause and practice is that at first it will need to be deliberate. It might even feel forced. Soon you’ll start to taste the sweetness of it all, which comes from knowing that every time you choose to pause, you are choosing yourself.”

This quote reminds me that setting boundaries is not something that happens overnight. It needs to become a habit in order for the boundaries to stick.

 

You Can Be More Than Your Day Job

So what do you do for a living?

It is a common question to ask and feels like a safe question to ask someone when you first meet them.

But this is actually one of my least favorite questions.

It is one of my least favorite questions not because I’m not proud of my day job, but because I want people to know that there is more to me than my day job.

You see, for the past 3 years I’ve played in 2 different worlds.

I work in corporate supply chain as my day job, but outside of work you will find me devoting my time to my wellness blog.

However, I’ve never really felt like I’ve fit into either world completely.

I don’t feel like I fit into the typical corporate world because I have this creative and entrepreneurial mindset that I feel like I have to tone back sometimes.

I don’t feel like I fit into the wellness world because I haven’t gotten to the point (yet) where I have a business or I’m making money from it.

I’ve felt the need to pick 1 or be 1.

But maybe I don’t need to pick 1. Maybe I don’t need to pick 1 lane or the other, but I can create my own.

I’ve been realizing that creating my own lane is what could make me stand out in both lanes.

I can bring my creative and entrepreneurial mindset to the corporate work setting, and I can bring my strategic and operational skills from my day job to the entrepreneurial, wellness space.

I need to own the lane I’ve created for myself.

For me, this has been taking small steps like…

The “about” page on my wellness website says “wellness writer and corporate supply chain analyst.”

Along the same lines, my LinkedIn says “wellness writer” along with my day job title.

I can embrace all sides of me and not be 1 person somewhere and another person somewhere else.

When you create your own lane, it may seem like you’re trying to do everything or be everything.

But it really means you’re just getting really clear on what YOU want to do.

When we decide to create our own lane, we decide what our time looks like.

For me, that looks like early mornings and late nights of blogging, with my corporate day job inbetween. Maybe not typical, but it is what has worked for me.

When we give ourselves the permission to create our own lane, we can start doing the things we actually want to do, and it can lead us to our version of a fulfilling life.

 

What I've Learned About Starting Over

I’m in a season of starting over.

I’ve moved cities. I’m living by myself for the first time. I’m changing jobs. I’m reevaluating how I spend my time and who I spend my time with. And that is just to name a few things going on.

I also call the season of starting over as a season of re-inventment.

I’ve started over before, but it has been different each time.

It made me think about the essence of starting over. There are 2 sides to it.

It can be a positive change that is exciting and makes you feel hopeful.

Or you could take a different view and ask “how did I get to the point that I felt I needed to start over?”

I wouldn’t call this a negative view; I would call this a reflective view.

Starting over can be good in so many ways and sometimes it is very needed.

But what makes us get to the point of feeling we need to re-invent?

I’ve noticed we feel the need to start over when we become someone we no longer want to be.

And that’s ok.

I’m a big advocate for changing your mind over and over again and it takes courage to decide that the old version of you is not who you want to be.

But how do we make sure that there are more days of being proud of the person we are today than days of feeling the need to start over?

I think there are 3 things that can help us with this.

Surrounding yourself with the right people

The times I have found myself off course is when I’m not surrounding myself with the right people.

No matter how hard you fight it, you’re a combination of the 5 people you spend the most time with.

Are the people I’m spending time with inspiring me to be the person I want to be?

Am I inspiring them to be someone they want to be?

Just asking these questions, even about the people you have been around for years, I have found can be very eye-opening sometimes.

Following your intuition

There have been times where I’ve mistaken intuition for anxiety.

It was like my intuition or gut was telling me to do something and I didn’t want to listen to it, so it gave me anxiety.

Listening to your gut can be really hard and can feel not always logical. But as soon as I started listening to it, it was like a weight was lifted that I didn’t know was there.

Just making that 1 decision to listen to my intuition has led me to making a lot of other decisions that align to the person I want to be.

Not losing sight of what you find important

It has become more apparent to me recently that we don’t all have the same goals or priorities. And that is ok.

We are all going down our own paths that are perfectly crafted for us. But it is easy to forget that someone else’s path is not always your path.

The times I’ve gotten off track is when I forgot where I wanted to go, what I wanted to do, and why I wanted to do it.

It might honestly be easier to get off track these days than stay on track.

It takes checking in with ourselves and sometimes getting really quiet to know what is important to us.

Once we know what that is, we can’t lose sight of it.

I think the key in all of this is to take both a positive and reflective view. We can have hope for the future while also learning from the past.

 

3 Benefits of Vulnerability and Sharing Your Story

Have you ever not told your story out of fear of what someone might think?

Maybe you have 1 or 2 sections or boxes of your life that particularly come to mind that you try to hold back from getting too deep into conversation about.

You keep it surface level. Always.

If you do happen to get into that conversation, you fear that as you’re telling a story the other person will start making 1 of the faces that say…

“I’m really not interested in what you’re saying.”

“That is the stupidest idea ever!” 

“Why is that something you’re anxious about?”

You don’t even need the verbal cues, it is all in their face.

I have been there, experienced that, felt that. I’ve done everything I could to keep from getting that face.

I recognize that I could also be making up a story in my head based on their facial reactions.

But either way, I’ve felt that fear based on the social cues I get.

But guess what?

The people that might be making that disinterested or judging face while you tell your story probably don’t get it and it is not our job for them to get it.

Every person we tell our story to is going to take something different away.

Maybe it is good and maybe it is bad, but we don’t really get to choose which one they pick.

But I have found that there are special people out there that are going to get it and it is going to take you telling your story to find them.

They see where you’re coming from, they understand the anxiety, and maybe they’ve even been there.

And there will be other people that won’t get it, but still go out of their way to understand you and provide the support that they can. They’re special too.

But how are we going to know if those special people are out there if we don’t share our story?

How can you discern the not-so-special people (the face makers) from the special people (the supporters) if you don’t tell your story?

Here are 3 perks to being a little more vulnerable:

Gives others permission to share.

There are a couple of people I’ve come across that don’t share much about their life. They keep things close to the chest.

When this thought comes to mind I try to ask myself, do they feel like they can share? Do I share with them?

Everyone gets to pick what they want to share and who to share it with. However, if you tell your story and put yourself out there, others are more likely to feel they have permission to tell their own story.

Maybe you can find a special person in each other.

Remember, the permission to tell your own story has always been there. It just needs to be granted by yourself.

It lets people know how to support you during big moments.

This is HUGE! If you’re excited about something, then tell someone. If you’re anxious about something, open up about it. If you’re hopeful about something, let those close to you know.

Because whether things end up in your favor or not, the people around you will know how to support you during the outcome.

They can be the person to celebrate things going better than expected, or the shoulder to lean on when you’re bummed out.

But they won’t know how you’re feeling about it unless you tell them.

Helps connect with people in ways you didn’t know.

Most of the stories we don’t tell are the hard ones and the ones we need the most support.

We only see the highlight reel on social media or the filtered version of what people decide to tell us. But there are people going through really hard things like you’re.

I remember being hesitant to tell a friend about a health issue I was having. What do you know, another friend of hers was having the same health issue and she connected us so we could support each other.

I remember being nervous to tell someone a hard thing I had experienced in a previous relationship. Come to find out they had been through the exact same thing.

It isn’t easy to say the hard things, but maybe it is what brings us closer together.

Maybe I’m writing this because I have to remind myself of the reasons to be vulnerable and tell my story over and over again.

My 2 sections or boxes of my life I’m not that great at sharing? 1) dreams I have for this blog and 2) romantic relationships.

Once I realized that the things I hold back from sharing are big parts of my life, I began to share them more and I’m proud of the huge strides I’ve taken.

And I’m not talking about sharing on social media (an entirely different beast). I’m talking about sharing with family and friends. The special people.

However, I do believe there are people out there on social media that can join the special people club, which I think is part of the reason I show up the way I do in my writing.

In a world that can feel so lonely, sometimes it takes opening up and connecting with 1 special person to make everything feel alright.