Lean Into What You Want To Do, Not What You Want To Be

I remember when I decided I wanted to be a podcaster.

I had listened to so many podcasts for a long time and really admired the hosts. They seemed like they were having so much fun and sharing some valuable content with the world.

I wanted to be just like them.

When I found out one of my favorite podcasters had made a podcasting course, I jumped right in.

To me, being a podcaster looked like…

Consistently releasing episodes once per week

Doing interviews with inspiring guests

Recording insightful solo episodes

Posting often on social media to promote your show

Having hundreds of listens on every episode

After over a year of doing what I thought a podcaster is supposed to do, I realized I didn't even like doing half the things it took to put on a podcast.

I didn't realize that being a podcaster also came along with hours of editing, making sure sound quality was good, coordinating time in your and your guest's busy schedules to record, and a lot of patience to build and engage an audience over time.

I found myself uninspired, burnt out, and unfulfilled.

Don't get me wrong, I loved creating and doing the podcast as it is one of the things I most proud of for myself.

However, I found the biggest mistake I made in approaching this project was I was trying to be like other podcasters, instead of exploring what I wanted podcasting to look like for me.

I realized I was focusing so much on what I wanted to BE instead of what I wanted to DO. This is what left me unfulfilled.

As I transitioned out of podcasting and started to look for next projects or new goals, I knew I had to approach the next thing with a different mindset.

what do I want to do instead of what do I want to be

When I started channeling this mindset of what do I want to do, I realized one thing I wanted to do was write.

I had always enjoyed writing when I was younger. I was an avid journaler. My favorite part of the podcasting was writing the solo episodes. I just found writing very soothing.

I didn't know what I wanted to be with writing, but that didn't matter because this was about doing.

I already had a website, so why not just starting writing a blog on there and see what comes of it. I didn't even consider myself a blogger, I was just writing.

I have been writing for 5 months now. I try to write every morning before the day gets away from me.

I found I was writing so much that I started creating a blog post every week.

I wanted to share my writing with others so I started talking about it on Instagram and Facebook. I felt like I wanted to share even more so I started a weekly newsletter.

I started to see some traction with people reading my content so I started tracking my growth. I was curious as to how many people were reading my content and where they were getting it from.

Despite all the things I was doing with writing and evolution of it, here is what really happened when I made this transition from what I want to be to what I want to do.

Tasks became fulfilling

When I was focusing on what I wanted to be, I would make a checklist of all the things I needed to do and maybe one of them was fulfilling. When I started focusing on what I wanted to do, the tasks, even if they weren't the most exciting, felt so aligned to who I was and what I wanted to do that they became fulfilling.

Creativity was allowed

When I was focusing on what I wanted to be, I felt like there was only 1 path and it was the path I watched someone else take. When I started focusing on what I wanted to do, it really opened up my mind to all the different paths I could take. It showed me that I didn't need to be afraid to take the road others hadn't. I could channel my curiosity and interests, and take the path that was best for me. Sometimes this took me down unexpected paths that I didn’t know were possible.

Goals seemed manageable

Sometimes having a goal of "being" something can seem overwhelming and almost impossible to achieve. It can be hard to even know the first step to take. When I set my sights on what I wanted to do, I could break things down into smaller steps to complete the task. I found myself so much more motivated to go after the task or goal now that it seemed manageable.

My own path and pace of growth was defined

When I was striving so hard to be something, I got impatient with my growth. I was wondering why I wasn't getting the results I wanted or results as fast as I wanted. When I started focusing on what I wanted to do, I saw growth happening in the direction I wanted and a pace that felt right to me. I've found sometimes the continual, slow growth is the most rewarding.

Making the mindset shift from what do I want to be to what do I want to do has been a game-changer for me.

It has led me to something I'm passionate about.

It has led me to feel like I have new purpose for my life.

It has led me to believe that all the things I want to do will lead me to a person I'm proud to be.

How I’m Seeing My Social Media Idols Differently

Unsplash | Georgia de Lotz

I was first introduced to Rachel Hollis when a friend recommended her podcast, Rise, to me. She knew I was into personal development and it was the perfect listen for my long commute home from work. I listened every week.

Not long after, I was introduced to Rachel’s book, Girl, Wash Your Face. I read it front to back in just a few days. It was like she was speaking to my perfectionism, my goal-setting mindset, and the belief that you could make your big dreams happen.

I then found out Rachel had a podcast with her husband Dave, called Rise Together. It was centered around creating a strong relationship and marriage.

I also followed both of them on Instagram.

I was a Rachel and Dave Hollis groupie I will admit. I loved what they stood for and looked up to them for everything from relationships to making your dreams a reality.

Last month, Rachel and Dave announced on Instagram that they were getting divorced.

I was in shock. I was sad. More than anything I was confused.

I thought: How could they? If they were so perfect, how could they separate? Was everything they said fake?

Then I took a step back.

I thought about how hard it must have been to not only come to this decision, but share the news on social media with their combined 2.2 million followers.

In my eyes, Rachel and Dave were a symbol of perfection. I idolized them and their relationship. I did not see them as normal people.

I tend to do this with a lot of the podcasters, authors, and social media personalities I follow. I see them as a symbol of perfection.

I have come to realize that behind the screen, book, and headphones, they’re people just like us.

Since hearing the announcement from Rachel and Dave, I decided to rethink how I consume content from my idols.

Here are 3 things I try to keep in mind:

Just because they're speaking about it, doesn't mean they're perfect.

The people I look up to seem to have it all together, but even they would tell you they don't have it all figured out. None of us will have it all figured out.

If someone gives career, marriage, or parenting advice, it doesn't mean they don't have problems. If they didn't have problems, they would have nothing to talk about.

Even if they don't have it all figured out, it doesn't mean they shouldn't be speaking about it. Some people are more brave and vulnerable about sharing what works for them.

I'm thankful for people like Rachel and Dave that are willing to speak about life’s hardships. They remind us that we aren’t the only ones with problems.

They're not fake if they change their mind.

If someone decides to pursue another path, change their outlook on life, or has a new opinion, it doesn't make them fake or phony.

We use words like fake because people feel that a change or disruption ruins that picture perfect image we have in our head. In reality, that image never truly existed. They are like us, human.

When people change their mind, it shows they're growing and learning like we are supposed to do.

No one needs permission to change their mind. If someone learns new information, they can change their mind.

I listened to Rachel's first podcast episode since announcing her separation and she explained how during the Coronavirus she was writing a book about how to get through grief. Then her separation happened. She had to go back and re-evaluate how she wanted to talk about grief. Her explanation really hit home. No one has it all figured out and we are going to change our minds.

Take their advice, but know that this is their journey, not yours.

When we look up to someone, we want to do everything they did. We love their image and want to mirror their life and success. We see their life as a symbol of perfection.

I've realized while it is great to take inspiration from the people you look up to, it is not THE journey. It is their journey and you can have your own.

Doing exactly everything they did to a T is not the only way to do things. Following everything they do will only build the life they wanted. It will not build the life you wanted. 

Take bits and pieces of what they did and see how it applies to your life. Create your journey, one you can be proud of.

In this case, we can still take Rachel and Dave’s marriage advice. Maybe some things worked for them at one point. Maybe they can work for you too.

Whether we have realized it or not, a lot of us are consuming content in a way that makes us idolize the authors.

Instead, we need to take the candid content that people like Rachel and Dave are creating as an opportunity. An opportunity to relate to them and reflect on our own lives. An opportunity to say “me too” or “I never thought about it that way.”

Relating and reflecting allows us to humanize the content we are consuming. It allows us to see the person behind the screen, book, and headphones for who they’re and not the image we made them out to be.

Can I Be Something Else?

Podcaster. It is part of my identity. It has been for over year now. When I take on a label like that, I wear it with pride and go all in on it.

I've been thinking though, if I'm no longer a podcaster than who am I?

My brain:

"Someone that doesn't know what they want"

"Someone that isn't serious about what they're doing"

"A nobody because this is how I became a somebody"

A little harsh huh? I would never say that to a friend or family member, so why am I saying it to myself? I've recognized its time for little more grace, and a lot less judgement.

If I'm no longer a podcaster, it doesn't mean I don't know what I want, I'm not serious about what I'm doing, or I'm a nobody because this is what made me a somebody.

It maybe took a global pandemic and the whole world stopping, but I realized that SOMEBODY had to make this great thing and that SOMEBODY was me.

I did that, it was me. That means I was a somebody before all of this. If that is the case, maybe that somebody can create or be good at something else too.

So I'm doing some re-wiring. I'm shifting from this harsh, negative self-talk. If I'm no longer a podcaster, than…

I AM SOMEBODY WHO IS GROWING.

Plain and simple. Maybe I should paint that on a canvas, or sew it on a pillow as my sisters would tell me after every cliché I say. Maybe I’ll put that in my Instagram bio as I don’t have a better way to describe myself right now. I'm somebody who is growing.

I think back to long before I started the podcast. In college when we had to create personal mission statements for ourselves, the one I created for myself was to…

DIVERSIFY MY EXPERIENCES TO ALLOW MYSELF TO GROW.

Maybe 22-year-old Claire was onto something there. Try some new things here and there to see where it takes you.

So if you're wondering where I'm at with re-wiring my brain, I'm taking a break from being a podcaster and trying this blogger thing. Maybe I'll come back to it, maybe I won't.

Right now though, along with blogging, I'm also embracing being an interior decorator making the coziest work from home space, a nail artist trying a new color almost every day, a yogi that uses Ohio's humidity to supplement a hot studio, and a nightly cribbage champion (although my boyfriend may beg to differ).

So I'll be here blogging about different mindfulness practices I'm trying, books/podcasts/people that inspire me, epiphanies I've had while growing, and lifestyle changes I've made to keep me centered in an ever-changing world.

But who knows, maybe I'll pivot from that to blogging about gardening and running. I'll just keep growing and keep you on your toes.