It's been 3 years since my first journal entry.
I remember the day I started journaling I was in such a hard place. I remember sitting in that spot for a very long time, doing nothing about it. Eventually, I couldn't do it anymore and would do anything to feel better.
I had heard time and time again from people I admired that journaling was an amazing practice to help you think through things. I was at a breaking point so maybe this was a healthy outlet to make things better.
You know when people ask "when did everything change for you?"
The day I tell them is the day I started journaling. And I'll tell you why.
First to be clear, I haven't journaled every day for the past 3 years. I didn't start steady right out of the gate.
At the beginning, I mostly journaled when things were hard, and I wouldn't when things got better. I relate this to when someone maybe stops praying when things go from bad to better.
Sadly, there are those times when things go back to being bad, and that is when I would always go back to my journal to let it all out.
A few months into journaling, I started writing not just about the bad things, but the good things too, like life milestones or trips I wanted to remember.
About 1 year in, I was started writing about the big ideas I had for my life.
About 2 years in, I noticed that I loved journaling so much that I wanted to make it part of my morning routine.
Not long after passing the year 2 mark, I went on a long weekend trip and was so busy that I didn't journal. When I got back from the trip, I was shocked how lost I felt. I was shocked how much I didn't feel like myself.
I guess I shouldn't have been so shocked that I wasn't feeling like myself because I went from doing something for myself every day, to leaving myself out in the cold (but literally that trip was so cold).
I got so used to journaling being…
my anchor.
my release.
my self care.
my getaway.
my safe space to grow without judgement.
where my biggest ideas first get written down.
where things are more beautiful when they're imperfect.
where the before, during, and after emotions are let out, then held for safe-keeping.
where I come back to myself to get re-centered on who I am and what I want to do next.
If one takes that away, you're bound to feel cold.
From arriving home from that trip to now at the year 3 mark, it has been 293 days. I have journaled every single one of them.
I tell people the day I started journaling was the day everything changed because it was the first time I chose to show up for myself.
For the first time, I chose to prioritize myself, commit to myself, prove to myself that I could put in the work, and that I could do something to take care of myself.
I chose journaling as my way to doing something for myself, while others may do this another way.
We could do it by going for a walk or maybe meditating. Or we could do it just by rolling out of bed and putting on something other than pajamas because life can be that tough sometimes.
Some days I don't feel like journaling, but I know now that those are the days I probably need to show up the most.
So I want to make sure I continue to show up for myself.
I want to show up when things are hard.
I want to show up when things are easy.
I want to show up when things are bad.
I want to show up when things are good.
I want to show up when things are boring.
I want to show up when things are busy.
I want to show up for myself each and every day because I owe that to myself.
There is power in showing up and doing something for you to show that you are here and ready to conquer the world.
So on this 3 year mark of journaling, I'm letting myself be proud for how far I've come.
I chose to show up.
I chose how I was going to show up.
I chose when I was going to show up.
It may have taken me 2.5 years of journaling and 25 years of life, but I am choosing to show up to my journal each and every day.
Because showing up for ourselves can be the difference between just existing and actually living.
Here's to many more years of journaling and showing up for me.
