Whenever I’ve told someone about a big change I’ve made in my life, my favorite response I’ve gotten is “wishing you soft landings.”
I love that phrase. Soft landings.
It is like being applauded for jumping off the cliff, but wishing you the best that you don’t fall hard.
When we make a big jump, we don’t really know if it is going to be a hard or soft landing.
I think back to my gymnastics days when I would do a tumbling pass and wasn’t always sure how I was going to land.
I think about when I was interviewing for new jobs and you really don’t know how the job is going to be until you get into it.
There are things out of our control that make us not know how things are going to end up or how we are going to land.
But I think there is a way to make the landings softer.
For gymnastics, you can bring some extra mats out and train yourself to bend your knees when you land so that the impact isn’t so hard.
In job interviews, you can talk to as many people as you can and do your research to get more information if the company culture is right for you.
Doing these things doesn’t guarantee we are going to land softly, but how do we make it more likely?
It comes down to having habits and people set up for yourself before you even jump.
Doesn’t mean you have to wait for your life to be perfect to jump, but having some things already set in place can make the landings a little softer and less scary.
Here are a few things that have helped me land softer and have made me more likely to jump.
Journaling
This is the first soft landing I ever put in place for myself.
When I started journaling over 4 years ago, it was to have a place for my thoughts, feelings, hopes, and fears to land. Journaling still serves that purpose for me today.
It is a place to challenge myself to write out whatever I’m thinking without judgment. Some of my biggest decisions, ideas, and realizations have come from sitting down to write in my journal for just 5 minutes.
Morning Routine
Morning Routines have been a soft landing for me because even when things are tough or uncertain, I still know how I’m going to start the day.
You just have to start, and everything else will come after.
Having a few simple tasks that I do every morning helps me at least get out of bed and puts some control back in my life when it can feel like there isn’t any.
Support System
This comes down to what I talked about in this blog post about letting people know what is going on in your life so that they know how to support you when you do jump.
As I reflect on some of the big changes I’ve made, I picture myself jumping off a cliff, my family catching me, and then lightly setting me on my feet. I question, and am slightly convinced, that I would have hit the ground without their support.
Therapy
I’ve found it helpful to not only talk to people in your life about what is going on, but talk to an outside person that does not have as much stake in your life.
My therapist is that person for me.
She can ask the hard questions without me wondering if she is guiding me to an answer that fits her agenda or caters to her opinion. Her agenda is to have an open conversation and give me tools that make me feel capable of taking on whatever it is in my life.
I almost think of therapists as “professional cliff catchers.”
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As you can maybe tell, it isn’t about what the jump is or how you make it.
It is about what habits and support systems you can set up for yourself so that no matter what or how or when you jump, you know you will be capable of landing softly.
