To My Furry Friend That is Gone

A therapeutic letter to my childhood pup that we lost on July 11, 2020.

To My Sampson:

I knew you were leaving soon, but still hard to believe you're gone. I'm not sure if its easier when it is expected. I'm going to say no.

I thought about what I wanted to write about you, as writing is how I let it all out. There is too much to say, yet a lot of it is indescribable.

One easy thing there is to say is that a bond with a dog, and you specifically, was special and can not be replicated with another person.

You were a constant during the changes.

You were there when I graduated high school, college, and when I moved away to start my adult life. You were there for every birthday as we, for some reason, always picked up your 75 pound body so you could see the cake and sing happy birthday too.

In your last months, we unexpectedly got to spend many hours and weeks together as the world was sent into quarantine. You sat with me as I worked from home, but also shared your love with mom and dad as they navigated unemployment, Lilly as her basketball season was cut short, and Ally as she was supposed to be enjoying her senior year of college with her friends.

You were a constant during all of it. Your love and hugs never wavered, and got us through it all.

You just knew.

I never had to tell you what I was feeling because you already knew. You can read me better than anyone else. And unlike a human, you don't need an explanation for the bad days. You were just content being there.

You also knew when it is time to go. You're our second pup that has passed. Our first pup Charlie went when we were on vacation. I think he knew we weren't ready to handle the pain of him going.

This time, mom and dad got home from dinner and let you outside. I wasn't there, but I picture you slowly grazing around our front yard and then laying down, knowing its ok to shut your squinty eyes. I think you knew to wait for mom and dad to get home so they could see you one more time and know that you went in peace.

You made sure we never felt alone.

They say a dog is a man's best friend, but you were more like a shadow. You followed us everywhere, especially mom.

There could have been no one else in the house but you and me, and you were all the company I needed. You had such a personality that I could just sit there and talk to you. I imagined you responding in an Eeyore voice from Winnie the Pooh.

Mom and Dad gave me a pillow when I was away at college with your face on it so I still didn't feel alone when I away from you. I laughed when I got, but it has sat on my bed everyday for the past 5 years, and now I'm hugging it tighter than ever.

You were a calming presence that everything was going to be ok and I am thankful to of had that in my life.

The short, brown dog hair will slowly fade from the couches and there will be no more slobber marks on our windows, car seats, and legs, but you will remain in our hearts forever. We love you Sampson pup!

How I’m Seeing My Social Media Idols Differently

Unsplash | Georgia de Lotz

I was first introduced to Rachel Hollis when a friend recommended her podcast, Rise, to me. She knew I was into personal development and it was the perfect listen for my long commute home from work. I listened every week.

Not long after, I was introduced to Rachel’s book, Girl, Wash Your Face. I read it front to back in just a few days. It was like she was speaking to my perfectionism, my goal-setting mindset, and the belief that you could make your big dreams happen.

I then found out Rachel had a podcast with her husband Dave, called Rise Together. It was centered around creating a strong relationship and marriage.

I also followed both of them on Instagram.

I was a Rachel and Dave Hollis groupie I will admit. I loved what they stood for and looked up to them for everything from relationships to making your dreams a reality.

Last month, Rachel and Dave announced on Instagram that they were getting divorced.

I was in shock. I was sad. More than anything I was confused.

I thought: How could they? If they were so perfect, how could they separate? Was everything they said fake?

Then I took a step back.

I thought about how hard it must have been to not only come to this decision, but share the news on social media with their combined 2.2 million followers.

In my eyes, Rachel and Dave were a symbol of perfection. I idolized them and their relationship. I did not see them as normal people.

I tend to do this with a lot of the podcasters, authors, and social media personalities I follow. I see them as a symbol of perfection.

I have come to realize that behind the screen, book, and headphones, they’re people just like us.

Since hearing the announcement from Rachel and Dave, I decided to rethink how I consume content from my idols.

Here are 3 things I try to keep in mind:

Just because they're speaking about it, doesn't mean they're perfect.

The people I look up to seem to have it all together, but even they would tell you they don't have it all figured out. None of us will have it all figured out.

If someone gives career, marriage, or parenting advice, it doesn't mean they don't have problems. If they didn't have problems, they would have nothing to talk about.

Even if they don't have it all figured out, it doesn't mean they shouldn't be speaking about it. Some people are more brave and vulnerable about sharing what works for them.

I'm thankful for people like Rachel and Dave that are willing to speak about life’s hardships. They remind us that we aren’t the only ones with problems.

They're not fake if they change their mind.

If someone decides to pursue another path, change their outlook on life, or has a new opinion, it doesn't make them fake or phony.

We use words like fake because people feel that a change or disruption ruins that picture perfect image we have in our head. In reality, that image never truly existed. They are like us, human.

When people change their mind, it shows they're growing and learning like we are supposed to do.

No one needs permission to change their mind. If someone learns new information, they can change their mind.

I listened to Rachel's first podcast episode since announcing her separation and she explained how during the Coronavirus she was writing a book about how to get through grief. Then her separation happened. She had to go back and re-evaluate how she wanted to talk about grief. Her explanation really hit home. No one has it all figured out and we are going to change our minds.

Take their advice, but know that this is their journey, not yours.

When we look up to someone, we want to do everything they did. We love their image and want to mirror their life and success. We see their life as a symbol of perfection.

I've realized while it is great to take inspiration from the people you look up to, it is not THE journey. It is their journey and you can have your own.

Doing exactly everything they did to a T is not the only way to do things. Following everything they do will only build the life they wanted. It will not build the life you wanted. 

Take bits and pieces of what they did and see how it applies to your life. Create your journey, one you can be proud of.

In this case, we can still take Rachel and Dave’s marriage advice. Maybe some things worked for them at one point. Maybe they can work for you too.

Whether we have realized it or not, a lot of us are consuming content in a way that makes us idolize the authors.

Instead, we need to take the candid content that people like Rachel and Dave are creating as an opportunity. An opportunity to relate to them and reflect on our own lives. An opportunity to say “me too” or “I never thought about it that way.”

Relating and reflecting allows us to humanize the content we are consuming. It allows us to see the person behind the screen, book, and headphones for who they’re and not the image we made them out to be.

3 Things That Helped Me Become A Morning Person

Yes, I am one of those annoying morning people. But I wasn't always. And I also decided that I wanted to be.

You see, I HATED mornings. Drag myself out of bed, sometimes before the sun was up, to be somewhere at some time. I was just hopeful that I didn't hit snooze 1 too many times that I was going to be late or that I didn't spill coffee on myself as I rushed there.

During a rushed 30-minute commute I had to work each day, I would listen to podcasts with successful people talking about how much they loved their mornings and how they were so integral to their overall well-being.

Since I was at the point of despising mornings, I felt like I was doing something wrong.

So I tried to see what it was like to become a morning person.

Now, at first I thought that being a morning person meant you woke up at 5am and fought all the fires before the rest of the world woke up.

And it can mean that if you want it to, but it doesn't have to.

The key I found to becoming a morning person is making it a positive part of your day instead of a negative one that a lot of us are making it out to be.

So here is how I became morning person.

I put my alarm clock across the room.

You know how it goes. Alarm goes off, you roll over to your phone on the nightstand, and do your routine of how many times you hit snooze (mine was 3).

But why did I keep hitting snooze when I never fully went back into a deep sleep, felt more tired by the time I actually got out of bed, and made myself rush to where I needed to be?

So when I heard the trick to put my phone/alarm across the room, it worked like a charm. Now did I get up to hit snooze and hop back in bed the first couple of times I did this? Yes, but that got old after awhile and it didn't take long to train my body and brain that once the alarm goes off, its up and at 'em.

I get up on my own terms.

One of the reasons I didn't want to get out of bed was because someone else was telling me I had to. I was getting up at the time I was because work told me I needed to be there at a certain time. It was like I was starting my day on someone else's terms.

So now I start my day on my terms. Yes, I still need to be at work at a certain time, but I start my day how I want to. Whether that is reading on the porch or sit with a warm cup of coffee for a few moments, I pick 1 thing that allows me to start my day how I want and gets me excited to get up in the morning.

I have found that starting my day on my terms has brought me more purpose and empowerment in my life than almost anything else in my day.

I developed a morning routine.

The early morning mad dash. You probably heard of it. You rush around trying to get ready and you have already reached the level of stress in the first hour of the day. Not exactly ideal.

As I listened to these podcasts with success people, they talked about how they were creating a morning routine for themselves that allowed them to have a morning that made them both feel good and get things done.

So I have been experimenting with morning routines ever since.

I plan out the night before what all I would like to do in the morning and give myself plenty of time to do it. I have experimented with getting up at different times and doing things in different orders, and finding the flow that feels right in this season of life.

Journaling, make coffee, do hair and makeup. Workout, meditate, make coffee. Make coffee, yoga, write. Whatever I was feeling, but trust me coffee was always involved, and it was just a lot more enjoyable not spilling it down myself during the early morning mad dash.

Having a routine down that made me feel good and get things was such a fulfilling way to start my day.

Now does this require getting up earlier? Yes. But does it put me in a better mental state for the rest of my day? Absolutely!  Even just waking up 10 minutes earlier can make a difference.

Like I said before, being a morning person isn't about waking up before the sun to fight the fires. It is about starting your day in a way that positively impacts your overall well-being.

How I Became More Present at Home

Lately, we have been forced to make our homes a multifunctional space. Ya know, quarantine and all.

I found the trickiest thing about doing everything in my home though was going from one activity to the next, and getting my brain to follow along with it.

Going from working on the couch to relaxing on the couch, it was hard for my brain to go from productivity mode to relaxation mode. Going from meditating on my bedroom floor to doing workouts in the same spot, it was hard to get my brain from quiet to motivated.

Not to mention doing all these things in the same space tended to make me feel stir crazy and claustrophobic.

It was a challenge for me to get present as I changed activities, but stayed in the same spot.

So I decided to create a space for each activity and each mindset.

And in a 1,500 square foot apartment with a roommate, I knew I had to get creative. I even created spaces that weren't really there I guess you could say by placing a blanket on the floor or making a little nook in a part of the room.

Now there is a place for everything and everything is in its place (including my brain)…

The desk and desk chair are for working.

The fuzzy blanket on the floor is for meditation and prayer.

The bed is for sleeping and reading.

The couch is for screen time and relaxing.

The outside is for workouts and yoga.

The spot by the window is for journaling and creative work.

Doing this has allowed me to be more present in each part of my day. It has allowed me to get my brain in the zone I want it to be in. More than anything, it has allowed me to fully enjoy each small moment of my day.

If you're in a similar situation as me where you're entering week 13 of working from home (so thankful to even have that option), making a place for everything has been a major reason I have been loving and fully embracing the work from home life.

But even post-pandemic, I see myself continuing this practice of making a place for everything in my home as I continue to try to be more mindful and present in my life.

Can I Be Something Else?

Podcaster. It is part of my identity. It has been for over year now. When I take on a label like that, I wear it with pride and go all in on it.

I've been thinking though, if I'm no longer a podcaster than who am I?

My brain:

"Someone that doesn't know what they want"

"Someone that isn't serious about what they're doing"

"A nobody because this is how I became a somebody"

A little harsh huh? I would never say that to a friend or family member, so why am I saying it to myself? I've recognized its time for little more grace, and a lot less judgement.

If I'm no longer a podcaster, it doesn't mean I don't know what I want, I'm not serious about what I'm doing, or I'm a nobody because this is what made me a somebody.

It maybe took a global pandemic and the whole world stopping, but I realized that SOMEBODY had to make this great thing and that SOMEBODY was me.

I did that, it was me. That means I was a somebody before all of this. If that is the case, maybe that somebody can create or be good at something else too.

So I'm doing some re-wiring. I'm shifting from this harsh, negative self-talk. If I'm no longer a podcaster, than…

I AM SOMEBODY WHO IS GROWING.

Plain and simple. Maybe I should paint that on a canvas, or sew it on a pillow as my sisters would tell me after every cliché I say. Maybe I’ll put that in my Instagram bio as I don’t have a better way to describe myself right now. I'm somebody who is growing.

I think back to long before I started the podcast. In college when we had to create personal mission statements for ourselves, the one I created for myself was to…

DIVERSIFY MY EXPERIENCES TO ALLOW MYSELF TO GROW.

Maybe 22-year-old Claire was onto something there. Try some new things here and there to see where it takes you.

So if you're wondering where I'm at with re-wiring my brain, I'm taking a break from being a podcaster and trying this blogger thing. Maybe I'll come back to it, maybe I won't.

Right now though, along with blogging, I'm also embracing being an interior decorator making the coziest work from home space, a nail artist trying a new color almost every day, a yogi that uses Ohio's humidity to supplement a hot studio, and a nightly cribbage champion (although my boyfriend may beg to differ).

So I'll be here blogging about different mindfulness practices I'm trying, books/podcasts/people that inspire me, epiphanies I've had while growing, and lifestyle changes I've made to keep me centered in an ever-changing world.

But who knows, maybe I'll pivot from that to blogging about gardening and running. I'll just keep growing and keep you on your toes.