3 Ways I’m Finding Calm In A Hard Work Week

To my friends who are in the thick of a hard work week and looking for some relief…

Right there with ya!

This is when I tap into my learnings from the past 4+ years studying how to create a calm morning and schedule!

So here are 3 ways I’m finding CALM in a hard work week:

1) Strategically protecting my energy

2) Remembering I’m more than my career

3) Having an Anchor & prioritizing it

Here are the details:

1) Strategically protecting my energy

Most of my time and energy is being spent on work, so really not trying to drain myself even more.

A few ways I think about doing this:

  • Limiting the number of things going on after work

  • Less multi-tasking, focusing on doing 1 thing at a time

  • When being a sounding board for co-workers, know your limits & when negativity is affecting your energy

Don’t worry - this doesn’t mean you can’t do it all or are weak; you are just trying to show up your best during a hard time :)

2) Remembering I’m more than my career

Sometimes work needs to be THE thing right now, and that’s ok!

But I like to remind myself I’m more than my work, and my happiness & worth comes from multiple places:

  • Family, friends, dogs

  • Cozy home

  • Exercising

  • Hobbies/interests

PRO TIP: highly recommend doing the Life Pie exercise of identifying the 3-5 sections that make of your life, and seeing the many parts that make up you :)

3) Having an Anchor & prioritizing it

An Anchor Activity is something you do for 2-5 minutes in the morning before work no matter what.

Some favorite Anchor Activities my clients and I use:

  • Journaling

  • 5 deep breaths

  • Stretching

  • Writing down 3 things you’re thankful for

  • Setting the 3 priorities for the day

In the busyness of it all, it’s a chance to say to myself…

“I am here and this is who I am”

…before the rest of the world gets to influence you.

And by prioritizing this day after day, you slowly become the calm, strong person that is ready to take on the day!

If you feel like you need some relief now and want some help getting healthy habits to stick in your schedule, here to chat about it!

I can direct you on where to start in a quick 15 min phone call! Let me know if you want a spot on the schedule this week :)

Who or What Are You Waking Up For?

I’ve always coached people on “waking up for yourself.”

But I’m going to put an asterisk* on that now.

My 11 week old pup Maisy has made her entrance into my life & I am absolutely not waking up for myself anymore!

I am waking up to take care of her (and admittedly so she doesn’t have an accident in my house)!

There’s a selflessness that’s come over me since I’ve gotten her.

It challenges what I always thought about waking up for myself and gives me MORE purpose to get out of bed!

I take care of her and then we snuggle up & do my morning routine!

So I challenge you to…

LIKE WHO OR WHAT YOU'RE WAKING UP FOR

Many of us wake up for work.

If you’re happy with that reason, great!

If not, you can change it!

Wake up for:
-Yourself
-Your partner
-Your pet
-Your kids
-Your dream side project

Whatever or whomever gives you the drive to get out of bed!

And if it is someone else, still pouring into yourself in some small way in the morning is a beneficial way to start the day.

Make YOU the priority early on in the day so you don’t get lost in the list of everything else!

 

5 Ways To Setup Your Calm & Productive Work From Home Life

1 blessing many of us have is the flexibility to work from home.

But if we don’t think about HOW we are using the flexibility, it can actually lead to more stress and less focus throughout the workday.

Here are 5 ways to setup your calm and productive work from home life:

1) Build a Command Center
2) Make your Command Center a “no social zone.”
3) Create a transition between meetings
4) Put the laptop to bed
5) Have a morning routine before the workday starts

--

Here are the details:

1) Build a Command Center

Pick 1 special spot in your home where work happens.

I call this your “Command Center.”

This is where you go to focus, become a powerful decision maker, and fully be present in work.

Mine is my desk in my office!

Yes, the couch or bed can be nice sometimes, but these are usually our sacred resting spots, so consider keeping them that way.

2) Make your Command Center a “no social zone.”

Decide what happens and doesn’t happen in your Command Center.

For me, 1 of my biggest distractions is my phone!

Therefore, I try to make my Command Center a “no social zone” where I don’t check social or respond to texts.

Instead, I get up to do these things, making for the perfect break between meetings.

BONUS: I also use this mindset for my desk when I go into the office!

3) Create a transition between meetings

When we have back to back meetings, it can be tough to be present for each and easy to get burnt out.

Try to create a transition between meetings.

That could be:
-Taking 3 deep breaths to ground yourself for the next meeting
-Getting up from your Command Center to take a break
-Getting a drink of water or petting the dog

This can create calm throughout the day and allow you to be a more sound decision maker as you go into the next meeting.

4) Put the laptop to bed

If you want to mark the end of the workday, consider putting your laptop “to bed” or away in a drawer or backpack.

This creates a:
-Stopping point for the workday
-Starting point to be present for the rest of life

Consider how easy or hard you want to make it to “jump back on & answer 1 more email.”

If you want to create calm & boundaries, putting the laptop to bed can be a helpful tool.

Also a good marking for the start of the workday the next morning!

5) Have a morning routine before the workday starts

If we want to live that calm life, it starts in the morning!

Start the day taking care of you so you can be your best self when you show up to your work/Command Center.

After all, who decides how you live your life, you or your work?

⭐ Reminder: you’re worth getting out of bed for!

If you want to create your ideal morning routine that transitions nicely into your workday, let’s chat!

Feel free to schedule a free 15-min call to chat morning routine or time management coaching.

If You Don’t Want A Rushed Morning, Get Rid of The Dread & Guilt First

When I ask someone how their morning feels, the answer I usually get is “rushed.”

But I know this isn’t their FIRST feeling in the morning.

--The first feeling is DREAD that the alarm is going off.

--Followed by GUILT that they’re hitting snooze.

--And RUSHED is the byproduct of it all!

How do we tackle the dread and guilt, so the rushed morning doesn’t happen?

1) Establish a sleep buffer

A sleep buffer is the guilt-free 15 minutes you give yourself to slowly wake up.

That way when the alarm goes off, you’re not totally dreading getting out of bed and feeling guilty for hitting snooze.

You didn’t want to rush, so here’s your permission to not rush out of bed.

You start the day with GRACE instead of GUILT.

2) Plan something worth getting out of bed for

For most people, this is usually doing something for yourself before the workday starts.

Journal, meditate, walk, tidy up the house.

It is making a plan that contributes to the person you want to become.

Calm, grounded, healthy, organized.

You can then start the day with DESIRE instead of DREAD.

⭐ Little reminder: YOU’RE worth getting out of bed for!

If you want to talk through getting rid of the dread, guilt, and rushing in your morning, I offer 1 free 15-min morning routine audit to my email friends!

I have a few spots left this week so let me know if you want one!

I Want My Grammy’s Morning Routine

If you know me, I’ve always wanted to be like my Grammy when I grow up.

She’s the life of the party and has so much spunk in her!

We recently took her to Austin, and on the plane, her and I got to talking about her morning routine.

She said how much she just loves it, so of course I asked more.

Here’s hers:

  • Coffee while sitting on the comfy couch

  • Cute golden doodle dog at her feet

  • Play Wordle & some other games to stay sharp

  • News on in the background

It’s not just what she does that stood out to me, but how much she just LOVES her mornings.

How many of us can say that?

Don’t we deserve to LOVE our mornings?

My Morning Routine Coach brain kicked in and looked at what makes Grammy’s morning routine so enjoyable:

1) Purpose to get out of bed

Having something to do or somewhere to be can feel nice.

When we don’t, those are the days we stay in bed all day and feel like a blob.

Yes some days it’s nice to have nowhere to be, but having purpose to get out of bed is something that can keep us going.

But it has to be a purpose catered to you.

2) Starting your day on your terms

You picking how the day starts can be incredibly empowering!

Choosing when you wake up, what you do, and the speed in which you do it at.

I like to ask people,

“who decides what time you wake up?”

Right now, a lot of us may say work.

When we decide to wake up 15 minutes earlier to do something for ourselves, we’ve just switched from living on work’s terms to living on YOUR terms.

Trust me, Grammy is living on Grammy’s terms.

———

Tomorrow is her 83rd birthday and I hope to still be loving my mornings when I’m her age!

So happy birthday Grammy, you inspire us all!

If you want a morning like Grammy’s sooner rather than later, let’s chat about coaching and make it happen!

3 Ways To Become The Person Who Shows Up Calmly To The Meeting

If you think about the past few meetings you’ve had, what type of person were you?

Person 1:

Rushed to the meeting, showing up late because the last one ran over, still thinking about the last meeting, trying to remember what this meeting is about, you see your phone blowing up with notifications that haven’t been answered

Person 2:

Showed up relatively on time, ready to go over the agenda, feeling present, will check phone when meeting is over so you aren’t distracted, feeling good because you aren’t frazzled and ready to make decisions with a clear mind

A lot of us are person 1, but want to become person 2.

How do we go from rushed & frazzled to calm & collected (even when there is a lot going on)?

3 things to think about:

1) Create a transition

Let’s admit…

The efficient person in us likes to schedule meetings back to back.

And while it may look like the back to back meetings fit nicely on our little calendars, it can make us feel rushed and frazzled.

I challenge you to create a transition between the meetings.

  • If possible, put a buffer time between meetings

  • If that doesn’t seem possible, before you walk into a meeting, take a breath or go to the bathroom

Create some type of transition that allows you to collect yourself.

This can be the difference between you showing up frazzled vs. calm, collected, and viewed as sound decision maker.

2) Silence notifications

When we have back to back meetings, it can be hard enough to be present, let alone what our phone is doing.

I challenge you to ask yourself…

“How can I be as present as possible?”

That likely includes silencing your notifications or not looking at your phone during meetings 

The pings and dings distract us from what is happening right in front of us.

Who knows, you could miss putting your input into a decision because you weren’t completely present for.

Show up in a way you can be proud of!

3) Morning grounding

If we start the day running around frantic, we are kind of setting the tone for the rest of the day.

BUT if we start the day feeling grounded, clear-minded, and confident, that could spill into the rest of the day.

Create some type of morning grounding.

Some ideas could be

  • Journaling

  • Walking

  • Meditation or a few deep breaths

Time to collect your thoughts, decide how you want to show up that day, and have a moment of peace.

We all know we may not get it the rest of the day.

If you’re feeling like you’re just rushing around all day everyday, you don’t have to live that way!

Let’s chat about morning routine or time management coaching and make the calm, collected version of you come to life!

4 Ways To Keep Going After Your Goals When People Around You Don’t Get It

1 month into the new year and maybe you’re noticing something…

Did you set some big goals this month or year that are different than the people around you?

Maybe:

  • Not drinking/dry January

  • Waking up early to journal

  • Workout 4+ days per week

  • Smarter spending

  • Starting your dream business

You’re acting on these things, but you find it hard to keep going because the people around you don’t have the same goals.

Maybe they don’t get it, and it’s not our job for them to get it.

But it’s also not a reason to stop going after your goals!

Here are 4 ways to keep showing up for your goals when people around you don’t get it:

1) Set the example

You may not realize it, but the people around you may need you as the positive influence in their life.

Be the trailblazer and set the example for going after your goals!

Without even saying anything, you may be surprised who joins you (maybe even your significant other?)!

2) Train people on your new boundaries

While you set the example, you’re also training people on your new boundaries.

What I mean is keep showing up how you want to and slowly that will become the new thing they expect from you.

  • Not drinking

  • Not responding to texts after 9pm

  • Prioritizing getting to the gym

The more you do it, the more it becomes a part of you (the best version of you)!

Others will start to expect it from you and (the right people) will respect those boundaries.

3) Listen to podcasts

I remember when I first got out of college and had dreams of doing more than just my day job.

I didn’t feel like I had people around me who had the same mindset.

But there were a lot of people on podcasts who did!

Every day on my 30 min commute to work, I listened to people who had the mindset I had/wanted and filled my ears with that.

It was motivating, inspiring, and made me feel like my dreams weren’t crazy!

A few I listen to on the reg right now:

4) Show up in spaces who have those people

I kinda despise the advice of “get new friends who think the same as you and leave the rest behind.”

It’s not a flip of a switch.

I say start showing up in spaces with people who have the mindset you want to be around!

Find communities, events, and places who have those people.

Search your specific interest on sites like:

You may be surprised what you find!

ALSO - you aren’t going to find your BFFs the 1st time you show up to an event!

Building friendships takes showing up multiple times, so give it more than 1 chance.

P.S. - It took me a solid year of living in Columbus to find communities I clicked with and 2 years to find my BFFs!

Be patient and keep showing up; you’ll find YOUR PEOPLE!

— —

I swear every event I go to, I meet someone who says:

“No one in my life really gets it and I don’t have anyone to talk to about my goals!”

If you’re feeling this way, I’m ready to hear your big goals!

Let’s chat about morning routine or time management coaching and make your big goals happen this year!

The Moment I Knew Things Needed To Change

January 20, 2020

I had just returned from a long weekend trip to Boston and I felt completely out of control.

  • I didn’t like who I was.

  • I didn’t like how I was feeling.

  • I felt like a blob.

I think we are supposed to feel refreshed after a trip right?!

While the trip was fun, I’d…

  • Been around people 24/7

  • Woke up & immediately rushed around the whole day

  • Didn’t have a moment to breathe

I almost thought am I so high maintenance and stuck in my routines that I can’t handle 3 days of this?!

Before the trip, I was getting up and journaling most mornings to just say to myself…

“Hi you’re here, this is who you’re, this is what you feel, and this is what you want”

It was like this secret, 5-min weapon each morning getting me through the day and making me feel like I was in control my life.

I had been doing it for so long that I reached the point of what it felt like to not do it.

While I could survive not journaling, I was stronger with it.

So on January 20, 2020, I journaled and have every day since.

(Good timing as you know what those next few months looked like)

Journaling had become my:

  • Landing pad for hard times

  • Springboard for bigger things

  • Home away from home wherever I was

So as I arrive on 4 years of consecutive journaling, I share this with you to challenge you to…

  1. Find a small way to check-in with yourself each day

  2. Make it your secret weapon that makes you stronger

Maybe you’ve already had THAT moment like I did that kicked your morning routine or checking-in into gear.

BUT if you haven’t and you don’t want to wait for that “kick in the butt” moment, let’s chat about getting your morning routine going!

3 Things You Don’t See In Those Morning Routine Videos

“What does your ideal morning look like?”

This is a question I ask my morning routine clients when we start working together…

…and the response I get is pretty much the same from everyone:

  • Wake up at 5am

  • No snoozing or rushing

  • Journal & meditate

  • Workout

This is great, but I can’t help but think this common response is because of the “perfect morning routine” we see on social media.

I love these videos, but there are 3 things we may not be seeing:

1) They likely have a sleep buffer.

Have you seen the videos where the girl wakes up at 5am and is up and moving by 5:05am?

While some people may actually be able to do this, a lot of us need time to slowly wake up (and that’s ok)!

The solution: a sleep buffer

When planning your morning routine, it’s ok to give yourself a “sleep buffer” of about 15 mins to slowly wake-up and adjust to the day.

This is a realistic, happy medium plan of not hitting snooze a bunch of times, but giving yourself the time you need to leisurely get up.

One of our goals is to not rush in the morning right?

Here’s your permission to not rush out of bed :)

2) They didn’t start waking up at 5am right away.

I bet most people in the videos didn’t go from waking up at 7am to waking up at 5am.

They likely started as a beginner too and made their way up to an earlier time.

If you’re trying to wake up earlier, challenge yourself in 15 or 30 minute increments.

Prove to yourself that you can do it, and then add more!

The goal is to build a SUSTAINABLE morning routine, not one you burnout from.

3) They’re showing you THEIR morning routine, not the standard for a perfect one.

When we’re constantly bombarded with videos of other people’s morning routines, we start to think that’s the standard for what perfect looks like.

Think about it:

  • Morning routine videos

  • What I eat in a day videos

  • Makeup videos

(This is also why when I give talks, I don’t lead with “this my morning routine” to not set the expectation of what perfect looks like)

So I challenge you:

What does YOUR perfect morning routine look like?

  • Does it involve drinking coffee & reading (and not working out)?

  • Does it involve waking up at 7am (and not 5am)?

Get specific and think about what YOU want!

Like Taylor’s Version, take back your routine and write YOUR version!

This isn’t to knock the morning routine videos because we all know they’re cute and inspirational!

But I want to challenge you to:

  1. Be realistic about your morning routine plan

  2. Give yourself grace and work your way to earlier in a sustainable way

  3. Build YOUR version of a morning routine & redefine what perfect looks like

Want help building YOUR version of a morning routine! Let’s chat about it!

How My Move Has Impacted My Routine (& Made Me Consider My Adaptability)

Over the past week, I’ve moved from my apartment to my first condo!

Here’s the dish on it so far:

  • It’s been that rollercoaster between exciting and overwhelming!

  • My routine has been rocked since the condo is set up differently and I don’t know where everything is

  • The everyday things are taking longer, and I’ve found my efficient and perfectionist self getting frustrated

These are first world problems I know and all things considered, the move has gone great!

I’m considering though…

I take pride in being a disciplined, routine person, but has this kept me from being an ADAPTABLE PERSON?

What is the balance between routine & adaptability?

Here are 3 things I’ve learned so far about the balance between these:

1) Routines are an energy saver

Routines are helpful because it reduces the amount of decisions you have to make in a day.

Routines save energy for the 1-off decisions or things that need more thought.

With moving — my usual routines of making breakfast or getting ready for bed are taking longer because I’m still in the process of making micro decisions about where things are placed.

Once I live here long enough and make enough of the micro decisions, my new routine will fall into place :)

2) Structure + Creativity can be a strategy for adaptability

I can take the routines I know work and apply them to this new space.

Structure of a routine + new challenges that spark creativity

It’s the balance that makes me feel like I don’t need to start from scratch every time, but be adaptable when I get into a new situation.

With moving - I’m thinking about, where can I apply routine, but add a new, exciting twist to it!

3) Recognizing that not everything is going to be the same all the time 

This is what I haven’t been doing!

I’ve been so routine that I didn’t really prepare myself for “this is going to be different.”

With moving - accepting this reality has been getting me through the impatient parts and making me enjoy the process more!

I want to look back at this time fondly and remember the humble beginnings of it all :)

I know sometimes I write these things out not to tell you, but to convince myself (this is a lot of writers on the internet btw).

I believe these 3 lessons can be applied to many parts of our life - new relationships, new jobs, etc.

Mine is a new home, but maybe you can apply them to something in your life this week :)

6 Lessons Helping Me Find Calm in Chaos This Year

In 2023, I feel like I found the calm in the chaos.

I slowly became a go-getter doing a lot of things intentionally and calmly.

I’m trying to come up with the term for becoming this person.

I was inspired to come up with a term when I started reading the newsletter The Quiet Rich.

The title captures perfectly people wanting to become humbly rich and live life intentionally.

What do you call a person who finds calm in the chaos?

I’ll start asking chat gpt, but let me know what you come up with!

While you think about it…

Here are 6 lessons that helped me find calm in chaos (and build the lifestyle I always wanted):

1) Special spots are the key to calm (and focus!)

Designating where I do certain tasks has made a world of a difference when it comes to calm and focus!

Example:

  • Work happens at my desk

  • (work doesn’t happen in bed)

  • (social media scrolling doesn’t happen at my desk)

Creating special spots helps me:

  • Not switch tasks so I’m not wasting time

  • Stay focused so I can do better work

  • Be less stressed because I have clarity of where my attention needs to be in the moment

Thinking about this a lot as I move into my new condo this week! Follow along on Insta to see me build my new command center / she shed!

2) What you do MOST of the time is who you’re becoming

  • Workout vs. not

  • Morning routine vs. not

  • Drinking alcohol vs. not

I started asking myself:

What is my “default habit” (or what do I do MOST of the time)?

Whatever it is, is who I’m becoming.

  • Active vs. not

  • Grounded vs. not

  • Mindful drinker vs. not

This has helped:

  • Hold me accountable to doing good habits more than 50% of the days

  • Give myself grace when I had 1 bad habit day

  • Get me closer to the person I want to be

3) What is measured is managed

I measure the things I need to make sure don’t get lost in the chaos.

And I don’t measure the things that’s sole purpose is just to be fun!

What I measure: days I workout

  • I track the days I workout & color in each day I do to hold me accountable

  • I use different colors to give myself options for movement, making it more likely to do

  • You can download the tracker I’ve used for the past 3 years that has led me to working out >90% of days HERE!

What I don’t measure: the number of books I read a year

  • This is a leisure activity for me so I don’t measure it

  • As a perfectionist, I’ve found when I measure anything and everything, I feel like a failure because I’m always not hitting some number

4) Procrastination is telling you something

The things I procrastinated on this year were mostly do too:

  • Me making it harder in my head than it actually is

  • Me trying to convince yourself I like doing it

Once I noticed this, I started posting on social media for my biz a lot less.

It wasn’t really filling my cup or converting to income, so I started focusing my biz attention elsewhere.

Noticing what is not filling my cup has helped me conserve my energy for the things that do fill my cup (like this writing this newsletter)!

5) Build flexibility into your schedule

This year I found the balance between setting a schedule AND having flexibility to move the schedule around.

Building flexibility into life has been a way to make all the things happen when things don’t go as planned (which is a lot).

Some flexibility I’ve built into my life (and feel so thankful to have!):

  • Flexible job of working at the office vs. home when I want

  • Multiple options for working out so I get some type of movement in every day

  • Side jobs that don’t have to be done at a certain time

I want to continue to build a flexible life where I can!

6) Waking up with purpose is the most underrated thing ever

Does this sound familiar?

  • You know those mornings where you’re laying in bed deciding if you’re going to get up?

  • Maybe you scroll email or social to procrastinate doing it.

  • Then you feel drained and unmotivated before your feet even hit the floor.

Those have been days of the past ever since I started waking up with purpose!

Getting up to do something to nourish my body or mind:

  • Journal

  • Cup of coffee

  • Walk

On the good and bad days, having an activity, a spot, a mindset to go to.

It’s a landing pad for the hard days and a springboard for the good days.

To put it simply, it’s a morning routine!

But it’s more than a morning routine:

It’s you believing you’re worth getting out of bed for.

Because you’re and 2024 is your year!

To recap:

  1. Special spots are key to calm & focus

  2. What you do most of the time is who you’re becoming

  3. What is measured is managed

  4. Procrastination is telling you something

  5. Build flexibility into your schedule

  6. Waking up with purpose is the most underrated thing ever

Wishing you the best in this new year and can’t wait to see what you do!

I Was Running Away From My Day Job

I remember graduating from college, starting my corporate job, getting about 3 months in and thinking…

there has to be more than this.

There has to be more than commuting to work, sitting at a desk, and then commuting home.

Don’t get me wrong, I liked my job and I was thankful to have it.

I also knew that as I started my adult life, work couldn’t be the only thing in my life.

That is when I started creating wellness content, exploring yoga, and a bunch of other hobbies for the first time.

It was the 1st time I could see that I could be more than my day job.

It was the 1st time I could see myself becoming a complex, multi-faceted human-being.

It was also the 1st time I started running away from my day job.

Around that time, I started following a lot of creators and entrepreneurs on social media and listening to their podcasts.

For the past 3-4 years I’ve been consuming their content constantly because I felt like they had this similar mindset that there was more to life than the corporate job.

After years of being immersed in this, I noticed that my definition of success had shifted to being to get out of my day job as fast as I can and do something else to make money.

I started running away from my day job. Like a full out sprint.

I wanted to get out of there as fast as the amount of time I perceived it taking for other people.

Of course, I perceived them doing it quickly and easily, so I often have to remind myself that I’m probably only seeing their highlight reel and not necessarily the blood, sweat, and tears that went into building their side business.

I knew I could get to the point of starting a side business, but I realized I haven’t been utilizing a key superpower I have to get there.

That superpower is my day job.

Adam Grant explains in his book Originals: How Non-Conformists Move the World that some of the most successful entrepreneurs have stayed in their day job during the first couple of years of their side business.

Staying in their day jobs made them more likely to take risks and be creative in their side businesses because they had their day jobs as a financial and emotional safety net.

I had this epiphany that if I want to do hobbies or start side businesses, I don’t need to be running away from my day job. I need to be using it as a superpower.

It is an asset that can help me move forward instead of holding me back.

I pride myself on being a multi-faceted person and I was reminded that it means accepting all sides of yourself, including the day job part of me.

When I shifted the way I looked at myself and my life, things started to change.

I started making bigger strides at work.

I was taking more action on my hobbies and potential side businesses.

I became more present in the things I was doing and people I was with.

Instead of running away, I needed to meet myself where I’m at in order to move forward.

 

What I Learned From Deleting Social Media for 2 Weeks

I did an experiment where I deleted all social media apps off my phone for 2 weeks while I was on vacation with my family.

Here is what I learned.

I loved it.

It made me more present when we were out and about. My brain felt like it was fully there.

I only accessed social media from my computer when I happened to have some downtime at night and it felt like a more intentional way to use social media.

I hated it.

I felt disconnected from the rest of the world as it wasn’t at my fingertips. It is crazy how I’ve grown to feel the need to be connected to the world at all times.

I was also reminded that social media is a place where you can connect with like-minded people quickly and cure some of that intellectual loneliness where you think, am I the only person that thinks and feels this way?

This experiment reminded me to ask, what is my goal?

My brain works in an all or nothing mindset and can be very restrictive sometimes when it comes to going after goals.

So the next time I want to make a sustainable lifestyle change, I can ask, what is my goal?

I’m finding most of the time, it isn’t to limit something completely or use it excessively.

It is to do things more intentionally or in moderation. And that can help me start aligning my actions to my goals.

 

What Happened When I Started A Morning Routine

When I talk about the topic of morning routines, the most common response I get from people is “yea I should really have one of those.”

We have enough “shoulds” in our life so no need to feel like you should have a morning routine.

BUT there is something powerful about them.

When I started getting up 20 minutes earlier than I usually would to do my morning routine of journaling, I felt more centered and calm to start the day.

You could also feel calm or centered from taking a walk or sitting with a cup of coffee.

The important thing I noticed here was choosing to have a morning routine was me choosing to start my day on my own terms.

No one else’s, mine.

I was choosing to wake up at the time I wanted to wake up, and not solely because it was the time I needed to wake up for work.

I was choosing to do something for myself before I answered all the pings, dings, and requests of other people throughout the day.

I was choosing how I was going to start the day and set the precedent for it.

And slowly starting my day, my morning, on my own terms became me living my life on my own terms.

 

The Best Advice I’ve Received About Patience

I was given some wise advice lately, which was…

You can’t plant the seeds and eat the fruit on the same day.

This has been helpful to me as I’ve thought about driving change at work, making adult friendships, and developing my blog.

Maybe it is the millennial in me, but you can’t plant the seeds and eat the fruit on the same day. It just doesn’t happen that fast.

For a long time, I’ve only focused on the fruit. The high goal, the destination, and getting to the destination right now.

I haven’t really paid attention to the planting of the seeds. The smaller steps, the journey.

I’ve noticed that focusing only on the fruit, the destination, and getting to the destination right now has not helped me get there faster. It has just made it overwhelming.

So how do I start planting the seeds and go after my goals without getting burnt out?

Here are a few things I’m considering.

Focusing on what seeds I would be interested in planting and not necessarily the fruit.

What do I enjoy doing? Who and what sparks my interest? I think starting there could lead me on a journey I enjoy.

Being patient about when and how fast the seeds will sprout.

Continually showing up to plant the seeds to give me the chance for one to sprout.

After all, the grass grows where you water it. 

Not limiting the opportunities for what the fruit is going to look like.

It is like I have a grip so tightly on what the fruit or the outcome is supposed to be that I’m keeping it from flourishing into possibly something bigger.

I gotta approach with an experimental mindset. Plant some seeds and see what happens.

As a perfectionist, this is scary because I fear I’ll plant some seeds, nothing comes from them, and I’ll waste my time.

I’m slowly learning that if you keep planting the seeds, at some point something is going to sprout, and maybe grow into something better than I could have ever imagined.

Reminding myself over and over again that you can’t plant the seeds and eat the fruit on the same day. Have to be patient.

 

I Read A Book About Getting Sober

Recently, I finished reading Not Drinking Tonight: A Guide to Creating A Sober Life You Love by Amanda E. White (@therapyforwomen).

I did not read this with the intention of getting sober, but to explore my relationship with alcohol.

I grew up in a family that drinks and is always ready to throw the next killer football tailgate.

I went to college in the middle of cornfields, where some may argue that the only activity there was to drink.

After college and coming into the adult world, I noticed even more how ingrained drinking was in our culture. Meeting friends or going on dates usually involved going to get a drink.

I wouldn’t say I had a problem with drinking, but I considered what if I did it less?

I was willing to pick up White’s book because she wasn’t saying “You have to get sober.”

She wanted you to consider “Would your life be better without alcohol?”

This question seemed graceful for my perfectionist brain and was what I asked myself throughout the whole book.

Here were a few takeaways that really stuck out to me.

We don’t have to be either sober or an alcoholic.

She explains in the book that sometimes we feel like we have to be 1 or the other.

We don’t have to put a label on it and we can just start being intentional about the choices we make. We don’t have to live in 1 extreme or the other if we don’t want to.

Identifying the costs & payoffs of drinking and not drinking.

There is an exercise she has you do in the middle of the book to write down the costs and payoffs of drinking and not drinking.

It is eye-opening when you actually write it down.

When you evaluate everything from how it makes you feel the next day, the cost, the logistics, and your interactions with other people. Definitely a powerful exercise.

There are options to socialize sober.

A lot of times when I’m socializing with friends, it isn’t necessarily that I want an alcoholic drink, but I feel like I need a drink in my hand.

One option White mentions is ordering a mocktail.

I could see myself ordering the cocktail that comes in the fancy glass without the alcohol and still enjoy myself. I’ve also started to notice some places have non-alcoholic beers as an option on their menu.

White also mentions that some big cities have sober bars now.

I have never heard of this, but I know one is opening in Columbus very soon and am interested to check it out.

I have a feeling this business idea will start catching on as health and wellness becomes more important to people.

Plan 24 hours in advance if you’re going to drink.

If you’re looking to moderate, White gives this tip so you have the chance to make the intentional decision to drink, instead of drinking due to a trigger.

I really liked this because it is easy to have a drink because someone else did, because it’s nice out, or you had a long day and you want to use it as a tool to unwind.

Deciding in advance that I’m going to drink can help me remove the possible shame from drinking and decide that I want it because I want it, and not for another reason.

We aren’t looking for a drink, we are looking for a moment.

White quotes author Holly Whitaker who says, “...sometimes we don’t actually want a drink, we want a moment.”

This blew my mind because it is so true for me.

I sometimes just want to be outside on a patio with friends, drink out of a fancy glass, go to a place with a cool atmosphere, or do something to unwind.

And really, none of these have to involve alcohol if I don’t want them too.

So where does this leave me?

After I read the book, I kind of felt the self-inflicted pressure to be sober.

But I keep coming back to these takeaways and they have helped me re-evaluate my relationship with alcohol in a graceful way.

So I am not sober, but more so seeing what drinking in moderation looks like.

As White puts it, I want to continue to explore… would my life be better without alcohol?

 

Do You Have A Mental Health Routine?

I struggled for a long time understanding what taking care of your mental health looked like.

Something that helped me was thinking about it like this.

Just like we go to the gym for our physical health, we can make time to go to the mental gym.

Options

For your physical health, you have options like lifting weights, yoga, running, etc. and you pick the thing that feels good to you.

For your mental health, you have options that help you check in like journaling, therapy, a walk, or sitting quietly with your coffee. You can pick which one of those feels good to you.

Planning a Time

When you’re planning your physical workouts, you have an idea of when is the best time to workout based on your schedule and when you have the energy to do it.

For your mental health, you can do the same thing. You can plan a time you’re going to check in with yourself based on your schedule and when you want to slow down.

Consistency

For your physical health, you have seen that you get stronger and healthier the more consistently you workout. You aren’t just strong automatically after 1 workout.

For your mental health, the same thing happens. The more consistently you make time and be intentional about showing up for your mental health, the stronger it becomes.

Just like the physical gym, the mental gym routine starts when we simplify the task, make a plan, and start taking action.

 

What I Learned From Changing Jobs for the First Time

I’ve talked to many of my fellow mid to late twenty somethings who have reached about that 4 year mark of working.

No matter if they love or hate their current job, a common conversation that comes up is if or when they should switch jobs.

I just changed jobs for the 1st time and here are some things I learned in the process.

Part 1: Leaving Your Job & Finding a New One

You will know when the right time is to leave.

You hear that most people only stay in their 1st job for about 2 years. As that 2 year, 3 year, 4 year mark approaches, it's hard to not consider the other options out, especially if the job market is hot.

So when is the right time to leave?

I contemplated for a long time switching jobs, and then one week it became blatantly obvious to leave based on things that started changing personally and professionally. It smacked me right in the face.

I think we feel pressure to make a job switch, or at least explore it, but you will know when the right time is. Keep observing and trust yourself.

Keep LinkedIn updated.

I got in the habit of updating my LinkedIn every so often with new projects, responsibilities, and what city I was living in.

I didn’t do this for the purpose of looking for a new job, but it became a game-changer in the process of finding one.

I got reached out to by a recruiter who saw the city I was living in and what I had been working on, and that is how I got my new job.

It isn’t always going to happen that fast, but updating your LinkedIn gives you the opportunity for it to happen.

Do your research.

The application process is very different from the first job we took right out of college. Now we have a few years under our belt and a lot more leverage.

I had no idea what to do with this leverage, especially when it came to salary expectations.

I talked to some close connections, did some research, and realized I may have more leverage than I thought. One site that was eye-opening to me was salary.com.

Don’t count yourself out and do your research.

Ask HOW the work is done.

In the process of interviewing, don’t just ask WHAT work you will be doing, but HOW you will be doing it.

What systems and processes are in place? What are the daily tasks needed to push the needle forward? How do teams interact to get the job done? How open are they to change?

Then asking yourself, is that how I want to be doing things and is this a culture I could see myself in?

You could like the idea of what you’re doing, but understanding HOW the new company does things could help you make an educated decision on if you want to take the job.

This is a big deal.

If you’re looking for a new job, you’re about to change the thing that you probably do for 40 hours a week. It will probably change your routines, maybe where you’re living, and/or the trajectory of your career.

This isn’t to scare you, but I say this because I don’t want you to settle. Don’t settle for a job change that you aren’t excited about. Make sure it checks all or most of the boxes.

Go with your gut; you usually aren’t mad that you did.

Part 2: Starting the New Job

You go from being an expert to a beginner.

I’ll admit, I kind of forgot about this when I changed jobs.

Even if you’re going into a very similar field that you were in, every company is so different and does things in different ways.

This can be a super uncomfortable process so be ready and open to it. I have had to put my student cap back on and be open to learning.

Come from a place of curiosity instead of judgment.

I knew going into a new job that I first needed to learn the business before I jumped in and said “here are all the things that need to be changed.”

It is also easy to assume that whatever you learned in your first job is the “right” and “only” way to do things.

This mindset doesn’t keep us open to a new perspective or really learning the business.

Therefore, I’ve found it important to come from a place of curiosity instead of judgment. 

We can not love the way something is done, but there is a method to the madness that people do.

Heck there may be people I encounter that have been working in the industry longer than I’ve been alive. They know the ins, outs, and upside-downs.

I’ve found asking why something is done, instead of just shutting it down completely, is key to being able to jump in effectively and respectfully to improve processes.

Ask for support.

Once I got into the new job, I knew I needed to seek help to make the growing pains less painful.

The people who know your job really well, as well as the people you feel like to can personally connect with and vent to.

Hopefully support is offered to you in your new position, but if not, seek out who the experts are on the subject or the company, and ask all the questions you can. 

People could be giving you more credit than you feel like they should and think you got it together.

I’m not the best at asking for help, so I have to remind myself often that people won’t know I need support unless I tell them.

Celebrate where you’re at.

In the middle of the growing pains, someone reminded me recently of the resiliency that you’re building.

You’re learning in a different way than you’re used to and that makes you acquire new skills. Each new skill you acquire only makes for more tools in your tool belt for the next challenge you face.

It is important to celebrate this new career milestone and that you have challenged yourself to go to the next level.

Give yourself credit for that.

 

Invincible vs. Resilient

Do you ever get annoyed that you’re sad about something? Annoyed that you’re mad about something? Annoyed that you’re basically feeling emotion.

For me, it comes from this pressure to be strong or be invincible.

It's like be so strong that you don’t get thrown off your rocker or have any emotion.

Here is what I remind myself in these moments.

I am not invincible, but I am resilient.

I am allowed to bend and I won’t break.

I am allowed to feel all the feels, and then move forward.

But I don’t think the resiliency to get up and move forward happens overnight. It has to be built.

Resilience is built when we continually choose to show up for ourselves. When we say each day “today I’m going to do something to take care of myself.”

Then when a tough time or emotion does come, we feel more capable of taking it on and moving forward.

You aren’t invincible, but you are resilient.

 

My Love/Hate Relationship with Pinterest

I have a love/hate relationship with Pinterest.

Remember in high school when you show the hair stylist a picture from Pinterest of what you want your prom hair to look like and it ends up looking nothing like that.

Remember in college when you design your dorm room based on what you saw on Pinterest.

Then as an adult, you attempt to make the most perfect dessert to take to a family gathering and it turns out nothing like that.

You would think I would learn by this point, but I have to remind myself often that Pinterest and the internet are for inspiration, not a copy paste.

I got to take the inspiration and make it my own. Plus what I design myself could be better than the Pinterest because I’ve made it my own.